What Would You Have Done/thought About This...

In my opinion, NOONE sitting in McDonalds has a right to say anything to anybody else.

If I was there, I would not have been able to stay quiet. I would have ripped that lady who yelled at the mother of the bigger child a new one. She would not think that was an appropriate avenue to take again.

Right, because public humiliation and shame will make the fat melt right off of her. Where can this daughter find joy, when she can't go in public without adults (you know, the folks who are supposed to protect her) are ridiculing her. I would have said something to them, no doubt. I HATE bullying, and I hate it even more when it comes from the people who SHOULD be examples. Yes, the mother is harming her for life. However, it's not the little girl's fault.

Wow!

I am heartbroken for the little girl in this situation.

How incredibly RUDE of the ones making comments/clapping.

I am truly speechless.

Michele/cat

I'd have loosely quoted Winston Churchill and said "My child can lose weight and become healthy. You, however, will always be a b!tch."

Wow, I hope I would have asked those parents how the scenery looked from their glass houses. When will people realize it is not their right or duty to tell other people about themselves? That poor little G..

While I agree obesity is a problem, making degrading comments towards people doesn't help them one bit. All that woman did was make herself feel good about her own parenting. We all have skeletons in our parenting closet, some just stay hidden better.

Wow that sounds like a Boca moment (where I live).

How terribly rude . . . and ironic given the fact that the stone-throwers themselves were sitting in McDonald's eating crappy food.

I am not sure what I would have done in that situation but I know I would have felt badly about it.

My son has ALWAYS been an athlete. As a toddler, he'd run at LEAST 3 miles a day, then there is gymnastics, swimming, snowboarding, hardcore, climbing... He's always been pure muscle... Little six pack, braided back...

Until this past year.

Prednisone
Fluticasone
Dexamethasone

He's gone from
A Boy's 10/12 to a Men's 29
His face is like looking at the moon

He's still an athlete.
After 6mo in and out of the hospital (longest for 5 weeks), though, and on steroid after steroid...he's a PUFFY athlete.

And he's nowhere near as fat as some of the kids at Childrens who are on even more major meds.

AnnArbor. Home of one of the best medschools in the country. My money is on meds. And wishing that poor mom & daughter some compassion.

I am not sure what I would have done since that may have depended on how it struck me at the time. My thoughts though are that the things said may need to be said to the mother in private (by someone who know if it is an overeating or a medical condition) it does not need to be said like that or in front of the child. I feel worse for the child having to experience that than for the mother. Sounds like she may have done close to the right thing by ignoring the shouts but I personally think she should have said something like "Excuse me, you don't know our situation and my daughter does not need to hear things like that from strangers".

My first thought is "Pot, meet kettle...".

Obese or not, feeding your kids McD's is not good for them, and we all know this. There are plenty of thin people that look healthy, that aren't.

Not my kid, not my business. You think that mom didn't know her kid was obese? Of course she does. Belittling her isn't going to change what type of parent she is. Not to mention, we have no clue if the girl has a condition that packs on the pounds.

Sad, embarrassing, apalling... I could go on & on.

That's just terrible, M.. Especially for the little girl to hear. I can't imagine this scenario.

I would like to think that I would have spoken to those people - it's hard to say when I wasn't there and have NEVER witnessed such a thing.

No matter what we think of the mother's choices, what happened yesterday will NOT fix it, and will only hurt that child's self-esteem. What an awful woman, and the people who clapped as well...

Dawn

Shame on them! It amazes me how adults act like immature snobs sometimes. What right did they have doing that? It wasn't constructive it was meant to tear that poor woman and child down. How sad! People need to grow up and realize it is NOT their place to judge her and certainly not her place to ridicule them either. For shame. I sure hope that was worth it and made them feel like the bigger person for doing that. Im shocked and appalled at their behavior.

I would have spoke up immediately and told that rude woman that she's got some nerve saying that! That it must be nice to be perfect. To have healthy children and not have to be in their situation. Have a little compassion and mind your own and leave them alone.

Oh and how ironic that she make those comments while shoving her face with food. Her attitude is the disgusting thing here.

I was in a McDonalds play area a few years ago and there was a little boy playing, and he was coughing and coughing as he played, and didn't stop. At some point a woman yelled at the child's mother "Your son is sick. He shouldn't be here playing. Get him out of here and take him to the doctor!" The coughing was bad, and I'm sure everyone there was thinking something was wrong, but the way this woman yelled at the mother was very rude. Anyway, the mother who seemed quite shaken explained that her child had some type of athsma, and that he was being treated for it, but when he runs around and plays he coughs. He can't help it, and he isn't contagious. I didn't get involved, but I felt very bad for the mother, everyone assuming she was a bad parent, just for letting her kid play.
I also have a friend whose son has autism, ADHD, ODD, and OCD. From the time he was about three I have had to watch her explain his behaviour to everyone, everywhere she goes.

I would have tried to give the Mom the benefit of the doubt. You really don't know why the child is overweight. You don't know if this child had medical issues that contributed to weight gain. And frankly, those folks were not responsible for this child so it was really not any of their business.

Even if I thought it was inappropriate for such an obese child to be eating at McDonald's, I certainly would not have said something to the Mom about it.

Wow...how do these other MOTHERS know this child does not have a medical problem. Maybe this was a treat for them. I can not believe they would have done this in front of the little girl.

What would I have done? I would have stuck up for them and told the other very mean women to keep their opinions to themselves. I would have pointed out that this child might have a medical condition. I would have been upset.

How awful!

Does the woman who shouted think that she is showing good parenting skills? Yelling derogatory comments to a woman with her child present does not teach the other children anything. I take that back; it teaches the other children something. It teaches them that it is okay to yell at strangers and make rude comments. Ordinarily, the OPPOSITE of what we teach our children.

That poor little girl. Regardless of the situation, she was subjected to humiliation AND watch her mother be humiliated. I have to admit that I admire the girl's mother. She had to exercise a lot of restraint to ignore the people in the restaurant. I wouldn't have been able to ignore the comments. I would have either walked straight out or said something very nasty.

To answer your question, I would have said something. I would have either very loudly tell my children that what that woman did was rude and disrespectful, or I would have directly told the woman that this is not the kind of behavior I want my children to be subjected to, nor should it be the behavior that any child be subjected to. Just because you don't agree with what someone does with their children, does not mean that you should point it out in a restaurant with an audience.

I was just reading this thinking how this would never happen where I live. Then I saw that you are from Ann Arbor! Did this happen in Ann Arbor? If I had seen this it would have taken everything in me not to scream at the shouting woman. Nobody should ever judge when they don't know the situation. It must have been so hard for her to ignore them.

This reminds me of a friend I had in grade school named Kathy. Kathy was very heavy and wore a wig, everyone teased her (except me and a few other kids in my class). In the 4th grade she died, she was being treated for a brain tumor and it finally took her life. When I looked around the room at my cruel classmates who were crying over her death (they made an announcement in the middle of the day, she had died during the night) I wanted to strangle each and every one of them for how they had treated her.

I have never taken a back seat to bullying or public humiliation because of what happened to Kathy. She was the sweetest, kindest friend, and I was one of the few kids who would even sit with her at lunch. Even at 9 years old, I couldn't understand how anyone could be so cruel. I do admit to a bit of shadenfreud about how bad they all felt when she died.

Shame on those people in McDonald's. That child could have just gotten out of the hospital and had not had a hamburger for 2 years, how do they know? I would have told the offender to shut her pie hole and encouraged my kids to play with that little girl.

How awful. Like others have said, it's really nobody elses business why this little girl is the way she is, and hopefully at some point, whether it's medical or strictly diet, it gets taken care of - but embarrassing the mother and her daughter in public is so rude and just so unnecessary. This woman and the rest are going on the assumption that this girl is obese because her mother must feed her McDonald's and nothing else every day and that's just wrong. Maybe there is something medical going on, maybe they've been working on try to get her to a healthy weight but this is her once-a-week treat for complying. No wonder girls end up with all kinds of body image issues at younger and younger ages.

If I had been there, I very well might have spoken up to the woman who had shouted the comments and told her to mind her own damn business - we would have all been in there feeding McDonald's that day to our kids, so who are we to judge?

If I had been there, I think I would have called my kids over and introduced them to the little girl, introduced myself to mother, and ask if they'd like to sit with us. The reason why people think they can treat others like that is because too many sit by and do nothing, or worse, others join in (as you saw in the McDonald's). Think of the difference it would have made if even one other mother went over and joined that family in a friendly way. Do you think it would have quieted others, shamed others who were participating in the bullying? Not only does this approach show support for the person being mistreated, but instead of creating an additional confrontation with the bully, it sets a quiet example of civility. Typically, all it takes is one brave person acting to instill courage in others who are also sitting there afraid to say or do something. It also speaks volumes to your children about how they can behave when they see something like that happening.

This story makes me sad on so many levels.

I am sad for the little girl.
I am sad for the mother who was publicy humiliated.
I am sad for the person who shouted at her because they don't know better and obviously were not raised right.

How terrible! That woman who shouted out would've gotten alot of dirty looks from me. :) If she mouthed off to me I would've laid it on her back. HAHA I'm normally a very calm person but I just can't stand to see people under attack. How she behaved towards this mother and her little girl was hurtful and she should've been shut down.
If she couldn't control herself seeing an obese little girl eating at McDonalds, if she didn't have it in her to be kind about it, if she couldn't find a way to get a message across without causing shame....she should've minded her own business in my opinion.

i agree - any of us sitting in mcdonald's have NOTHING to say. (and yes we eat it sometimes too, so no judgement here). it's NOT decent food. i can't believe that people would be so blatantly judgmental. almost sounds like a mob mentality. i don't know if i would have been brave enough to say something, kudos to those that would (really would, not just say they would on here). but i would have felt terrible for the mom and child. and you know what....despite that, there probably would have been a part of me thinking..."well they're kinda right..." i think if we're honest most of us would have had that small part within us. it's sad that she is that overweight, and it's sad that we would treat each other that way.

What an awful situation. I don't even know what I would have done, but I definitely would have felt sad on many levels. I always feel badly when I see overweight children, especially if they are greatly overweight. Regardless of whether or not the weight is due to bad eating habits, lack of exercise or a medical condition, overweight children are likely to be teased and suffer from esteem issues.

As for calling the mother out? Quite honestly the mom could probably use some help. However, berating her doesn't seem like it did any good for anyone. And any parent who was there was subjecting their kids to the same McD's food. It seems a bit hypocritical to say it is okay for some kids to eat it and not for others.

I can't honestly think of any helpful/good response in this situation. I can't imagine that some parents clapped. If I were a bystander there, i would hate for my children to have seen that. I know my 7 year old would have been very curious about why people were clapping and saying mean things.

Well, knowing me, I would be too much of a wimp to say or do anything. But what I'd like to THINK I would do, is to tell the woman who called out to them to mind her own business. I guarantee that the mother of the little girl knows she is obese, knows it's not good for her health, and isn't going to change just because a stranger yells at her from across the room. All that accomplishes is upsetting the little girl.

To be perfectly clear here, I don't care why the child is obese, it's not up to you PrincessMomma or anyone else for that matter to make that determination and humiliate the child. I guess not everyone can be perfect like you. Sorry to be rude but your response really irked my last nerve. Who are you to pass judgement on another mother? You have no idea what the situation is and yet there you are throwing stones. Shame on you!

I would have walked my child over to the table of rudeness and pointed to each one of them as I very loudly explained to my child "that this is a teachable moment, Mommy would like you to see what an obnoxious, ill mannered, self righteous bully looks like and these other women are too weak minded to use their own better judgement so they simply follow bully #1." "These ladies and their children are NOT the type of people Mommy would let you play with because clearly they have no home training and are modeling this rude behavior to their own children. These same women will be wondering why their own children turn out to be bratty bullies."

Then I would suggest we go make friends with the little girl and ask if we could join them for lunch.

Peace and Blessings,
T. B

That is so upsetting. I may have possibly stood up for her and yelled at the insensitive people. They have no idea what the little girl is going through. Maybe she has a medical condition and is on different medication(s) that cause weight gain??? Sure, maybe it is the parents fault, we don't know. But to make that kind of scene and be that rude is just sad, very very sad. In a city nearby a 7 year old boy committed suicide. 7 years old!! Nobody is safe from being self-conscious, sad, and depressed. I may have possibly dumped a shake on the head of the mom who started it all, lol. Grrr!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Actually, bullying is illegal here in my state. I may have just called the police right then and there.

I would have walked up to that lady and told her to mind her own damn business!

I would have gone up to that mother, given her a huge hug, and ask if I could have lunch with her.

Its really a shame that people like that exist in society, those people, so ignorant and with not a humane bone in their body. I would've thought I was on a tv show also. Good thing I wasn't there, my weakness is I have a big mouth and don't have a very good filter system...Sorry you had to witness that, that poor mama and baby!

I had tears in my eyes reading this! SHAME ON THAT WOMAN! She had no right! You have no idea what has caused that child to be obese. I am overweight and those kind of comments would hurt me! I am afraid I would have had to told that rude woman to mind her own business!