What Would You Do...4 Yr Old Needed to Pee?

Kids..pregnant women...my best friend...any one doing a pee pee dance gets to go first. Mind you my best friends pee pee dance is HYSTERICAL, so I might keep her waiting to see it. :)

Maybe she was just not telling you and she had to go just as bad. That's the only reason I can see for not letting a child in obvious peril go first. I have IBS with chronic diarrhea so if I need to go it's an emergency often times.

Ive been lucky in those few situations that the women around me have let me ahead with my daughter. I would def pay it forward :) Nothing worse than accidents in public places!
In a serious situation i would have yelled in the mens restroom and went right in.

I understand your frustration, I share it. In their defense, maybe they have a medical condition that didn't allow them to wait either (bladder control or irritable bowel).

I have IBS and there are times that I can't wait 10 seconds so to have to stand and wait would surely mean an accident...lets face it, a 4yr old having an accident is looked at much more kindly.

Now, if they were just being insensitive...shame on them!

For me -it depends. A kid COULD go in a Starbucks cup, but I can't. I have bladder issues and have had numerous bladder surgeries, and now after two kids -I'm looking at a bladder sling. I have gotten where I just can't hold it once it reaches a certain point. If I wasn't truly about to pee on myself (or poop myself -diarrhea does happen), then I would let a kid go in front of me, but I can think of numerous times where all I could focus on was getting to that toilet! There are also people -especially in malls -who have to be back at work behind a register at a certain time, or they get in trouble.

Well, here's the thing.
Instead of being mad, you can turn it into a learning situation.
Your son is 4. Surely having to pee that bad and waiting wasn't fun for him.
Talk to him about really trying to let you know a little sooner.
I know it's hard and kids will get distracted, etc. I have kids myself.
It takes time to find a bathroom. Even when you find one, sometimes you have to wait.
I made the practice of taking my kids to the bathroom first when we went shopping. I went and they went. I was happy to be patient in the bathroom before we ever got started out instead of doing the dash and run like you describe.
Sometimes it can't be helped.
What's more embarrassing and inconvenient? A 4 year old peeing their pants or a grown woman who has been standing and waiting in line already on the verge by the time you get there?
In desperate situations, especially if it's a one person at a time situation, I've taken my kids into the men's room. I've peed in the men's room myself. I don't care who sees me coming out.
I'm not saying YOU did this or do this, but I'm older, and I definitely see a change in things as far as mothers expecting people to cater to the fact that they have children.
I had to go to the emergency room not long ago. The little boy in the bed next to me was being treated for a migraine. He was about 5 and my heart went out to him because my son had migraines at that age.
Anyway, within a few minutes of each other, we were released to go to Walgreen's and pick up our respective medications. There was a huge line. It was chaos. We all had to wait. The little boy with the headache layed still and quiet on the cold floor while his mom waited her turn like everybody else.
Then came the screaming from the other side of the store. A kid freaking out because he couldn't have gum.
Wouldn't you know that mom made a bee line for the pharmacy counter wanting her prescription rushed because her kid was having a melt down over gum?
She was indignant about having to wait. After all, she and her kid were obviously in distress.
I understand that a tantrum and bodily functions are two different things, but really, I don't think people should feel obligated to give up their place in line for a kid, JUST because they are a kid.
I'm a patient person. And I was raised to be thoughtful.
I always let people go ahead of me, I hold doors for people. I let people with only a couple of items at the store go ahead of me. If I have time and can wait, I do.
I've taught my kids to be the same way.
Kids can learn that generosity is awesome, but it's not a given that other people are going to be so generous and sometimes, you have to wait your own turn.
It's not all about you.

I'm glad your son made it in time.
Try the potty break first thing and get it out of the way.
Scope out the bathroom situation for sure.

No offense intended.
I promise.

Ask and ye shall receive. If you don't step up and ask for what you need in life you can't expect everyone to be totally observant to your needs. You never specifically asked to have the next spot in line, you beat around the bush, you made references and inferences and crossed your fingers that someone would get the hint. Don't do that. If you need something, ask for it plainly.

What you did is why many men think women are nuts. Subtlety asking for something without actually coming out and asking for it, then thinking you actually asked but all witnesses to the account would say, "No she never asked!" Then taking offence at a slight against you that never really happened.

I have to admit that sometimes when I'm out I'm wrapped up in the bubble of my own mind, thinking about all the weighty issues in my life and not really paying attention to the white noise around me. However, if someone with a crotch holding bouncing kid asked me for cuts in line I would not even hesitate to let them go first. I would back away and motion them to the front of the line. However, if someone was just making noise about how they waited too long and jokes about asking for a cup from starbucks, I wouldn't be completely sure if they were just being cute or if they really needed the next spot in line. If you needed that next spot in line, you should have not joked around about it nonchalantly, made eye contact with the women and seriously asked, "Please, oh please can we have the next spot in line? My child has an emergency and he's going to wet himself if we don't get in there next."

Don't wait for people to notice your need. Speak up. If they say no, I'd probably pull a zip lock back out of my purse and let him pee in that right in front of them.

I think most parents would let the parent with a child who really had to go take cuts in the line - I mean, no parent wants to see what would happen if the child *didn't* get to the toilet in time, KWIM?

And for future reference - I have girls so I never would have thought of this - you could try one clever "emergency potty" trick I saw a mom use at the park - she had two boys with her, a toddler and a preschooler. Her older boy had to go and there was no bathroom nearby, so she pulled out and opened up one of the toddler's diapers, held it in front of her son, and had him pee into the diaper. I thought that was a pretty ingenious solution

Well you don't know if either of these women had any health issues it would be far more embarrassing for an adult to have an accident. So I wouldn't assume they were being rude.
Me, I would have let him go and I let pregnant women go ahead too.

Edited: you could have brought him to the men's room they usually don't have a line.

Karen s I have never been more appalled with a response than I am with yours. How on earth do you find it ok to teach your children to act disabled to get special treatment?!?!

I think you should have stayed and waited your turn where you were. You have no idea how badly the women in front of you had to go or their physical circumstances. As for the comment about "I might expect it from a man", That's sort of judgemental. What would your husband have done?

Blessings.....

Maybe those women had to pee just as bad as your son. It might have been rude, but maybe they have a medical condition, or something.

i would have gotten a starbucks cup for my son to pee in...he's done it before haha

I would always let the child go, but we have many selfish people in this nation that take no notice of anyone around them. One year at the air show my son had an accident waiting in line. We had to buy him new cloths at the show, and than when he had to go again and he saw the line, he just stopped, whipped it out and started peeing (it was an outdoor event)! When I yelled at him he said "I did not want to pee in my pants again". How could I stay mad.

Another time at a public rest room at a road side stop we were waiting in line when a woman came in behind us. She knew the woman in line in front of us and came up and stood next to us and started talking to the woman. After the woman in front of us went into a stale and the next one came open, she started to head for it. I actually threw my arm out in front of her and said "are you seriously about to cut in front of a 4 year old in the potty line?" She claimed to have not seen us, and I was like "you walked right by us when you walked in!". Now, if it is an emergency, I just speak up and ask the people in line if he can go first, I find when I ask they always say yes.

I'd probably have let the kid go ahead of me, but the thing is, you don't know how badly those women had to go, who had their period, who worked there and gets a five minute only break, and they were there first. As a mom of teens and past your stage of parenting, I'll tell you that if people keep rescuing your son, he won't learn. If he pees his pants once in the store, he probably won't wait til the last minute again. Natural consequences.

I would have let him go.

but, I probably also would have asked the women if he could go first too.

I would have waited too...

And I agree with what Toni said. You don't know - maybe those adults really had to use the bathroom too? That they could have had an accident.

I think waiting for your turn might have taught your son that he needs to say right off the bat, not wait until it's an emergency. I understand he's little and it's hard for them to prioritize like that - but it's a lesson that has to be learned.

Yes that was rude of them. Me personally if there was a mens room also I would have gone in there. I have actually done that before. The womens room was packed and the mens was empty so we went in the mens room. If my mom was with me I would have her stand outside to make sure no one came in. The men were very understanding and waited patiently. You would think that the women would understand more and let you go so that your child can go.
Some women can be just as rude and uncaring as men.

Yeah that WAS rude, IMO.
Maybe it was one of those grumpy old ladies who don't think boys should be in the ladies room (reference from a old question). Lol. ;)
Glad he made it! :)

Thinking back to when I was childless, I was pretty much oblivious to kids & parents. When you don't have kids, you just don't get it.

I would of been upset too. That was rude of her. Everyone knows that kids can have small bladders!

If it is a real emergency, he can pee in the sink. Be kind and wash it out well after. Sorry but amidst a bunch of inconsiderate adults, and without a change of clothes handy, and he's about to burst ,it is a resonable alternative. The key to keeping the reflective spray to a minimum, is to glance the stream at a mild angle off of the side of the porcelain, not hitting it head on. You might have to help him aim.

Oh yeah, and tell him if he never wants to repeat that kind of adventure, he'd better let you know he has to go as soon as he feels something. No more of this last minute garbage.

Keith

YES I would have let the poor child go ahead of me.
I have actually done that.
I know how it is. I have kids.

They should have let your son go in ahead, unless they had unusual circumstances. Once when my son was 8 and we were at McCormick Place and he had to go. When I saw the HUGE men's room, and lots of men coming and going, I decided I wasn't going to let my young son loose in a men's room for fear he'd be molested or kidnapped...SO we went to the ladies room and I told him to "act disabled" which he did beautifully and no one objected!

Since there were two "ladies" ahead of you, had you asked them if they could let your son go ahead of them, neither could hardly say "no". But it would take a bit of "guts" to ask (or maybe despiration!).

I totally would've let him go ahead of me! But, I still have little kids and I "get it". Maybe it had been sooooo long since these 2 ladies had contact with little ones? In the future, if I were you, I would actually ASK the person in the front of the line if I could cut! I bet she would've said yes. As one of your other posters said, some people are just dense!

ok found your solution for your boy.... Buy a box of TravelJohns! from amazon.com, Your son can pee in the bag and it won't leak and you can keep it until it's fool. I don't leave without one in the purse (unused), the truck as one in use and it your ever in a tight spot like that again you can use your traveljohn from your purse! I just gave you a great lifesavor tool advise!

Just depends, I mean you never know what is going on for them either. Could have been the good old monthly time or they may have been super desperate as well. If I just needed to go, then I would have for sure let him go first but if it was something more intense I might have jumped in as well. That is one of those tough calls, but don't be irritated bc you really don't know what was going on. You were flustered with two kids in tow and when we are in that place it is hard to think anyone else could have it as tough as we do in that moment, believe me I know! I am pregnant mama that totes a 4yr old and 1yr old around as well!!! You needed a break, who knows what they needed. Glad your boy made it!!

Did you actually say, "Excuse me, could my son please skip ahead of you to use the toilet? We waited too long and he's having trouble holding it. I'm sorry to trouble you."

That would have given the woman in front of you a chance to *directly* respond to a *direct* question. I find it helps to be upfront.

What would I do? I would ask. If I were asked, of course I would allow a kiddo to skip in front of me.

RUDE women. Awful really. If it were me, and I knew my son couldn't hold it much longer, I might've pulled his pants down and shoved him into the men's restroom and told him to go. Those women should have been nicer. Granted, you could have said "Do you mind if we cut? He is only 4 of course and has only been potty trained for a little while now."

I would let the child go first, but I would think that by age 4 the child should be trained to ask sooner and be able to hold it temporarily. My daughter likes to wait, but she can also hold it, even when she says that she can't anymore unless she's had juice.

I'd let the child go.

It was rude. Unless, those women did not see what was happening with your son or they thought you would of asked them if he could go ahead because of the situation. you see I was in the same situation and asked the woman at the front could I please run my daughter in here, ahead of you, she isn't going to make it. she kindly let us go, and I thanked her again on the way out. (my girls do the same thing)
What I'm trying to say is that I've noticed it depends on what the people expect from the situation or you. sometimes it's a matter of speaking up. I probably wouldn't have noticed you because I'm so oblivious (flaw i hate about myself) but if I did I would have said something and let you go ahead of me. sorry for the rambling but anyways do you get what i'm saying?

If it was a situation like that, I would let him skip, only if i didnt have my kids, if my kids were with me, he would wait. But for example 4th of july we were at a park, and we waited in line for about 30-45 minutes to use the restroom, after about 20 minutes, my 2yo started crying that she couldn't hold it anymore, we couldn't skip, she had to hold it. The same with your son, he needed to tell you earlier that he needed to pee instead of waiting last minute.

I would have definitely let the child go ahead of me unless I also had a child with me in the same situation. Very rude and insconsiderate.

They probably were not thinking that they wanted to be intentionally rude to a four year old....they were yip yapping. Just ask if it is ok to use the stall instead of using the Starbucks idea to your son hoping they would get the hint...sometimes hints don't work on girly shopping trips.

Did they look old enough to have kids? That is about the only explanation I can come up with. Totally bad karma otherwise. The next time their kids needed to go, well ya know?

So yeah, I would always let a poor kid go before me. Well unless there were issues that I may not make it. You know, us girls don't hold ourselves. :p

I would have let you go ahead, no matter. I am an adult and I can hold it 1 more minute. he's 4- peeing on himself is not going to make him remember in the midst of playing that he has about 5 minutes before it becomes urgent. A lot of people simply don't care and have no empathy.

That is so annoying, and I think rude... and the same thing has happened to me with my 2 year old, I was pissed off as well.

well, they probably just weren't thinking... some people are dense.

Anyways wasn't there a men's restroom? I know some people don't want their kids going in without them... but in this case I would have sent him in and waited RIGHT outside the door. You could even crack the store and say, "is anyone in this restroom... " and walked in yourself if it was unoccupied

But yes, if it was me I would have let you "cut" in line to go in the restroom. I had an accident myself in a store when I was little, and I was mortified, i wouldn't even come out of the bathroom! thankfully I was with my grandmother who bought me a new outfit to wear home... But anyways, I always think about how awful that was when I see a kid doing the "pee dance"...

-M.

rude rude rude. maybe she's not a mom, and has never been around kids. those seem to be the kinds of people who usually don't "get it". RUDE. i would probably have watched her go and said loudly, "WOW." in a thoroughly disgusted tone. but i'm catty like that. sorry for your little boy! i'm glad he made it! we have had 1 or 2 close calls too. it seems usually they can hold it longer than they think...thank goodness!

I would have let him go.
Geesh, some people just don't think.

I would defnitely offer a young child who was doing the potty dance a chance to get in before me...But, I don't have any bladder problems. You never know, maybe the woman had incontinence problems--maybe she needed to change a full tampon--maybe she had terrible stomach pains and needed to have a bowel movement..hard to guess.

Next time in this situation, I'd simply say, "Excuse me, do you mind if my son goes next? He can't hold it any longer."

I would of asked if we could of gone first. I am normally very polite and I have learned to become assertive in certain situations. Some peole dont mean to be rude they are just dense are not aware. Some might not have had kids yet and are not able to put themselves in that situtation..just hope when they do they find a compassiate soul.

Rude, rude, rude. I am sorry.
I would never put myself ahead of a little boy that needed to pee. :(
Hope he made it.

Usually I asked them if I can take my kids ahead of them. Most of the time they said yes and smile at me. If not, usually they give me the reason that was understandable. After my surgery, I am not doing well on holding it either.
Also when at the mall, I make my kids use the bathroom (willing or not) when we come, everytime we pass one (30-60 min later), and before we leave. It's time consuming to find toilet at those places, they are just a mile away and it's a hassle to walk back and forth right when you find something cute on the shelf :).

I think it's kind of rude. I have let little kids in front of me before. Although maybe those ladies had to go just as bad, but were past the private holding stage?

I guess I am part of the bandwagon here... No one is a mind reader and you should have asked.

That said, I am a Mom with youngsters (4YO and younger) so we are at that "potty training" stage so I am sensitive and would let you go (of course, I'd hope another Mom would do the same for me). I know, he can go potty, but sometimes its that acknowledgement of the need that is still in the "training" mode.

Good luck!
~C.

Why didn't you just ask if he could go in front of them. That is what I have
done in the past.

Updated

Why didn't you just ask if he could go in front of them. That is what I have
done in the past.

I definitely would have let him go in front of me. That is so rude, I see that kind of thing all the time, it's so irritating. I've actually been cut in front of in line by old ladies at the grocery store. I can't believe how inconsiderate people can be.

.

I would have let him pee unless my kid was doing the same lol.

I would have let him ahead unless I was also desperate. I have also told pregnant ladies to go ahead of me because people were kind to me when I was pregnant.

I must remember that diaper trick someone else mentioned. I have a girl, but with some strategic planning it might help (like if we could dash to the car).

My mom also always had an old coffee can with a lid in the car for long car rides where there were no rest stops. Hey, gotta do what you gotta do...

My rule of thumb is that if I manage to escape the house without my kid anyone WITH their kids gets to go first-- either in the bathroom or the checkout line

That's how I feel when one of the kids, or even I really need to go and I'm in a store that doesn't allow public people in their restrooms. I don't have accidents "yet". But let's face it. Many woman have problems and when I need to go I am miserable! I really dislike that those woman were like that.