What Would You Do If You Were Me?

My guess is that this child, being a child of a police officer, is probably inadvertatly exposed to a lot more talk about guns, shooting, crime, etc. than the average child would be. I wouldn't automatically jump to the conclusion that there is something untoward going on behind the scenes, but it certainly was a serious statement, that should have been taken very seriously by the boys parents. The fact that the mom reacted, suggests that she shared the thought that it was a big deal what her son said. We don't know what happened after that to know how it was addressed. Personally, I would talk with her about it, and see where she stands on it. You might feel a lot better if you know they are taking his statement seriously... If they don't seem to be, then I'd be a lot more cautious around this child...

I would talk to the mom and see what she did to handle the situation on her own and with her husband and go from there. Honestly I do not think there is any protocol for this.

That is a VERY serious statement. If he feels comfortable enough telling people he will shoot them with his Dad's gun, certainly he feels comfortable enough talking about his Dad's 'real gun' with your kids. I would definitely have a talk with your kids about gun safety and I'm pretty darn sure I wouldn't let them play at your friend's house (although I'm sure they take precautions with gun safety in their home... I hope..)

I would also bring it up again with your friend. I bet she's pretty embarrassed about it so I might say something like "I know kids say the weirdest things, and I know you're probably embarrassed about it, but what he said the other day really has be concerned..." If you are as close as you say, she should feel comfortable talking to you about it.

I would not stop being friends or letting your son play there over one statement from a 7 year-old. I would bring it up with your friend, something like "I was really surprised by Jack's bought of anger the other day. Usually the boys get along really well. Do you think something was bothering him? Were you able to talk with him about it?"

Only if the boy's behavior continues, or your friend is unwilling to talk about it, would I become concerned.

My husband is a sergeant with the NYPD. In the academy they take firearm safety VERY seriously. The last thing they want to see is a PO's child using a gun and having a horrible injury or death. All of the cops I know are very careful to either not bring their weapon home, or when they do to lock it up very securely. Our gun safe is bolted to the floor in one of our closets and has a combination lock that requires 2 hands to open and a fair amount of coordination. My husband usually leaves his gun at work and once in a while when he's coming straight home from the range or from an assignment outside of his regular area he does bring his gun home and it goes straight into the gun safe.

When my kids were about this child's age (7-8) and they showed tremendous curiosity about my husband's gun (when he came home in uniform one day with his gun direclty from some assignment or funeral) he actually removed the clip and the one last bullet from the gun and allowed the kids to touch it and hold it. He wanted to satisfy their curiosity. but he was VERY clear wit hthem - the only time they were ever allowed to touch that gun or any gun was only if he allowed them to. He showed them that even when the clip is removed there's still a bullet engaged and ready to be discharged. Many people, and certainly all children don't know this. A few months ago, now that the kids are almost 12 and almost 15 my husband took them to a gun range to they could shoot a gun and experience how powerful it is and that it's not a toy. It was a sobering experience for them.

Now all that being said - back to this little boy. he's 7 anything could have triggered that exchange. They might have been watching a movie the night before, or even a TV show with guns. Or he overheard a discussion mom and dad might have had regarding a shooting that wa sin the news, or one that another cop he knows was involved in. Or it could have been as simple as a video game that a neighbor or older brother of a friend was playing.

Alo tof video games are "first person shooter" games taht involve the player in the role of shooting everything that comes along. Call of Duty, Halo, etc. If a child is exposed to this stuff for any period of time it can produce anger, etc. PLus, 7 yr olds don't know how to handle stress, embaressment, etc. When my son was 7 he came home from a friends house talking about shooting everything in sight. This other boy was always playing his dad's M rated games! Obviously, he didn't play at that boys' house ever again. ;o)

Good luck mama. You might ask if her son's been playing at any other kid's house recently. I'd put it down to video games way before i'd assume it had anything to do with dad and his gun - although that's a slim consideration.

I don't think you should jump to conclusions. I really don't.
I know plenty of people in law enforcement and they are very super careful, but the fact remains, their children know their parents (even moms) have weapons.
That said, children at 7 are also exposed to things even in a non-law enforcement family. Good gravy....killing Bin Laden is all over the news, we have troops at war. Kids hear things.
It sounds like the mom dealt with it properly.
It's definitely not okay for the boy to have said that, but I don't think you need to perceive it as an actual "death threat" from a 7 year old.
I don't think that something random that happened should lead you to believe your friend isn't telling you everything or something is going on you don't know about.
Kids are kids. They do and say inappropriate things and they are taught not to.
Little boys used to play Cowboys and Indians. Politically correct? No. But for heaven's sake, in a generation that watched Bonanza on Sunday nights just before The Wide World of Disney, what could you expect? They didn't all grow up to be mass murderers or abusive human beings.
He's a kid who said something that wasn't nice.
I don't think you should read more into it than that, especially if it was a one time thing.

Just my opinion.

I remember years and years ago a game called Zelda...anyone else remember that? (it will come into my story in a minute)
My brothers were at school and someone made fun of my younger brother. So, the OTHER brother wrote a note to the boy that made fun of the brother that said, "stay away from the rainbow bars or you shall surely die". My brother was 6 when he wrote it. That quote was from the game Zelda. (although it wasn't rainbow bars, it was some kind of bush, I think)
My brother would never have killed this kid, he didn't do a thing. Nothing was going on behind closed doors, nothing that needed to be shared with anyone else. it was just a kid, saying something, to get a reaction.
Sometimes kids say things and we, as parents, start to annalyze every little thing and blow things out of proportion. I
The mother handled it great by taking him inside. She probably gave him good talking to, dad probably got home and gave him a good talking to, and there probably was some serious talk about gun safety.
Let it go. He is a kid, he said something and got a reaction, and I am willing to bet something like that wont happen again.
L.

he may have just reciently learned about his daddys gun, and what that items really means and he is trying to make that fit into his world.
his outburst may have been more of a way of asking questions about it than threatening you guys.
he doesnt understand the gun, he just knows it is serious. and you were being seriouse with him about the hitting, so he probably just thought of the most serious thing he could think of to throw back at you!
and in doing so, probably got some more information on that "strange gun thing" daddy has by way of your responces.
take it as a learning oppertunity.
if there is something else going on behind closed door, this will not be your only glimpse, so just relax and keep an eye out like you would anyway.

Okay, personally, I think everyone's overreacting. Kids repeat things that they hear, that they probably shouldn't have heard & definitely don't need to be repeating, things that they don't know the whole meaning of. They could've overheard a parent, heard it on TV, heard it at school, the playground, or from an older sibling. It does not mean the kid has psychological issues or is going to be a mass murderer. Kids mess up, and it's our job, as parents, to correct them & discipline them. It sounds like your friend addressed the issue with her son appropriately, so I'm not really sure what else you want to do/want her to do.

I would try to relax.
Sometimes we/people say things we don't mean.
Sometimes we/ people do things that we wished we didn't do.

Maybe the young boy was having a bad day.

Just keep your eyes and ears open.
Watch the boys play together.

Have a talk with your husband and son and make them aware that you all need to keep your eyes and ears open.

I wish you all the best and I hope that this doesn't ever happen again.

God bless.

If it were me, I would ask her if everything is okay. Since she is your best friend, you should be able to ask her if anything is going on, and if she knows why her son would suddenly be so aggressive when he's normally so nice. Do it in a supportive way to let her know that she can talk to you about anything. If she says nothing has changed, then it could be that her son was just having a bad day. This is the first time it's happened, and it's possible that it could be the last. If it keeps happening every time they play together, then maybe something else is going on and you could try to talk to her more about it. But as a one-time statement, I wouldn't be worried about it yet; kids can say some off-the-wall things sometimes.

No WAY I would let that go! I wouldn't care how good of a friend the mother was to me. I would tell her that my child wasn't playing with hers anymore. Period. Something OBVIOUSLY is going on behind the scenes. If she doesn't consider you a good enough friend to let you know about it, then why should you feel like you are being a bad friend for no longer wanting her child to play with yours?? Friendships aside - my children matter more to me than any other people. I wouldn't care what she thought or anyone else thought. And that is what I would tell her. That's just my opinion and what I would do...

This would bother me a lot. I think I would casually ask her "what came out of that comment that was said a week ago and how did your husband feel about it ? " Tell her it alarmed you and that you hope that they are okay.....becuase if it was my child, I would not be okay.
I think another discussion needs to be had before any further "ideas" of behind scenes get too out of control in your mind.

No, I would not let it go. That boy needs to realize the seriousness of his words. I would tell my friend you are disturbed and upset by her son's threatening comments, and would like to have the boys take a break from playing together for a good long time. Honestly if MY kid made that statement I would want him to learn the lesson that when you make those kinds of serious threats, people WILL NOT want to spend time playing with you. I would be kind and sypathetic towards my friend, offer to get together just for some adult time for awhile maybe, but I would not downplay it just to avoid making her uncomfortable. I'm sure her husband is careful, but I would be VERY leery allowing my child to visit their home.

I agree with T.O....threat about a real gun, I would take very seriously.
Guns scare the heck out of me, when in wrong hands, espechially children.Accidents can happen...I would have an honest talk with my friend how concerned you are about that comment.

If one of MY children ever said this, I would hope the other parent would come running straight to me like they were on fire to tell me!!

My dad was a gun nut ( as I call them) he hunted and did trap and skeet shooting. I was raised around guns and learned how to handle guns by age 9 or 10. That being said ~~~ the cardinal rule in our house was and is ^^^^ NEVER POINT A GUN AT A PERSON AN ANIMAL OR OBJECT^^^^^ . My brother and male cousins all had toy guns and played cowboys or cops and robbers when we were kids but NEVER EVER pointed a gun (even a toy gun) at anyone else.
I know that most parents don't get as strict, as I did and my parents did, about guns and shooting people. I got a little nutty when visiting my daughter's home and the kids were playing with toy guns and pointing them at each other. I kept saying don't point a gun at anyone. It got to the point that the guns got put away. I agree that the statement the little boy made was out of line but I don't think he understood what he was saying. I also think that video games have taken the message of gun safety away from kids. They get so used to 'shooting people' in the games that it means nothing to them any more.
I am sure his parents had a talk with him and hopefully the situation has been resolved.
Maybe next time ask him why he sooo angry. His remark came from anger but the situation should not have made him that angry. So what was he soooo angry about?

I used to work as a teacher for kids that had emotional/behavior disorders (in public school). One thing I have definitely learned from all my schooling, training, and on the job experience is that when the threat is random and contains no details of the threat, it is usually just a meaningless threat. NOW, it the threat contains specific details...time, place, type of weapon, etc. then it is to be taken seriously. Sounds like he knows that he needs a real gun and where to get it. I'd be concerned.

I'm not clear....was it the 2 yo or the 7yo that said it? If it was the 2 yo, I wouldn't worry about it. If it was the 7 yo....not sure. I guess it might be something or it might be nothing. I'd just look at his future behavior and see if this was just an isolated thing. Keep a mental notebook I guess.

Added: If you're really worried, you could call a child psychologist or even your pediatrician and ask if you have anything to worry about, but don't lose a good friendship over 1 single comment :)