What Would You Do If You Were in This Situation:

I would be very suspicious too....even if this is an innocent friendship, the fact that he hasn't been honest and up front about it is concerning. There is a deeper issue here if he feels he needs to seek another woman, even for friendship and cellphone conversation. He is sharing a part of himself that he should be sharing with YOU. I would strongly encourage you both to get some couple counseling, to talk about what is really going on in your relationship. If he refuses to go, then go yourself....it will help you get a perspective on things. (I personally think EVERYONE needs a good therapist!)My therapist would give me ideas and help me think of what to say to my husband to encourage him to communicate his feelings. It did a world of good! Also please take care of yourself; I mean be sure that you have some friends or other support to strengthen you emotionally and not lose your self-esteem during all this. Remember that you are worthy of love!

K. G.

No offense to the other women who've already responded, but it seems like they are making it MUCH MORE THAN IT IS.
By over-dramatizing it they're making your life into a Lifestyle Channel for women mini-series.
It's very likely that it's nothing.
If he said that he'll no longer take direct calls from this woman, that in itself should show you that he respects the fact that you're not cool with this girl calling, and he wants to keep you happy.
I don't know you, I don't know your relationship with your hubby. But I do understand how you must feel.
I do not like secrets. I know most of my husband's friends and know that he is the go-to guy for almost everything. Sometimes wives'-sister's-neighbors call up because their screen door is loose and want to know if he can fix it or tell their husbands/brothers/boyfriend how to fix it.
I trust my husband. We've been very open about EVERYTHING from the very get-go and talk about everything. I know that not everyone is like that, but if you talk to your hubby and said, "hey, listen, I wouldn't be so upset if I had even an inkling of who this person was before she called. Why didn't you ever mention her/them before?"
Likely the answer will be, because they didn't really matter in OUR LIVES.
Unless he frequently leaves for California a few times a year and gives you reason to worry, you shouldn't.

Well, from my experience all you have to do is just sit back and if there is anything that is going on believe me you will find out. Men don't cover their tracks like women, so he will leave a trail. Also, don't be to hard on him as of yet because it could be that the women is persuing him (in her sneaky little way), and he could be innocent. To me I think that she is flirting with him and to give an excuse that she is a married woman means absolutely NOTHING!!!!!!!!!Another thing I have come to believe is that even when a man has done nothing wrong when he gets confronted by his wife/girlfriend he will make matters worst just from the initial shock of being asked about something he thought she didn't know. But as you said at the end of your statement. If you won't stay with someone that cheats, then you have answered your problem. GOOD LUCK!!!!!!!!!!!!

Hi V.,
I totally understand where you are coming from. Here is my story, very similar to yours. To make a long story short, my husband starts to go to this one dentel office somewhere in Plantation. He's been going to this office for quite sometime. One day, my husband gets a call while we are having dinner...(the dental assistant) calls him. I guess she was asking him when was he going to do her landscape and so on...(my husband has his own lawn/lanscape business). As I was over hearing the conversation, I decided to question him about this woman calling and so forth. He mentions to me she is happily married to her husband and she was just a friend. I was very upset. First of all, women who call my husband are wives of friends who I personally know. This woman is a stranger in my eyes. I've never heard from her and never met her or her husband. I defiantly brought it up to my husband's attention. He knew I was bothered and understood why I felt this way. He then told me he would not receive any more calls from this individual again. Maybe you should just let your husband know how you feel and ask him how would he feel if it was the other way around. Good luck~ Jaz

I would probably keep a close watch on the situation. The good thing is she is in California and married. It may be harmless or it may be he is having an emotional affair. Guys tend to like their ego's stroked. My guy is not very talkative when it comes to things and I hate when I find out stuff from other people instead of him. I feel out of the loop, but he doesnt think its a big deal. If it was a sincere reason, he can't know her too well then if he didn't know it was her Birthday.

Couple of questions:
1. Do you trust him?
2. Do you love him?
3. Is he worth having this conversation with instead of us?

B.