I have four children. My two other kids never made a trip to the principals office. This child so far this school year has been to the vice principal office twice this year. Both times because he repeated bad language from the other child. Ugh. Two of my kids including the one I am discussing have ADD. However all my kids have always been polite and treated others with kindness. This other child is a kind child but he has his own issues. He is not a good influence on my son. I dont want my son hanging around him. My child has enough trying to stay focused in a classroom setting to begin with. The other child has made my child parnoid now he constantly thinks everyone is talking behind his back. He actually said the "F" word to me. After learning it from this other child. The mom is lovely. She is a good mom. Her child issues are not anything to do with lack of displine. He is a handful.. I dont want to hurt her feelings or her child. I am sure if the other child has many friends so they are persisted about getting the boys together. My son has some comprehesion issues and he doesnt get it sometimes that he should not repeat certain words. My husband and I dont use such language.
Your child- ADD and all can comprehend that what he is saying is bad. It is pure and simple shock value- Tell him that not only are the words bad but the behavior is bad. He and you can influence this child by both of you letting him know that this is bad. The good influence of the both of you will help the kid and maybe his mom
I'm in the camp that YOU determine what is and is not acceptable, no matter WHO says WHAT!
Your son obviously knew it was a "bad" word and said it anyway....
You need to teach your son that if he is going to do what others do, he is going to suffer the same consequences as the others.
He knew the "F" word was not appropriate yet made a decision to say it anyway. To put responsibility for that off onto another child is a disservice to your son. You are teaching him that he does not have to be responsible for his own behavior.
I simply cannot believe that your son has a hard time differentiating between acceptable language and unacceptable language. You are making excuses for him.
And unless this other child is the ONLY other child yours plays with, you cannot be certain that your son "learned" the word from him. I bet there are other children, and perhaps even some adults, who have used the word in his presence without your knowledge.
If you don't want your son to play with this boy, you'll have to tell your son that he's not allowed to play with that child. How you explain the "why" depends on what you want your son to repeat.
Well, there will always be things or people in your child's environment that are potential bad influences. We can't control others or how they act, but we can help our kids learn how to respond to bad influence, and teach them right from wrong.
Hi C.-
Acquiring 'language' is a lot like a cold virus...one can 'pick it up' from many possible sources.
You do not mention how old your kiddo is...but even if ONLY 10...I would help him come up with a list of ALL OTHER words that mean the same thing...(have older siblings help).
Then post it on your frig...
Yes I am 'boinking'...'coitusing' ...'fricking' and 'horizontal mambo ing'
serious.
Best Luck!
michele/cat
