What Would You Do? - Fort Eustis,VA

I think it ought to be ok to tell a spouse that you don't like a perfume they gave to you. just let him know that you appreciate it, but you don't think it smells good on you. It's not like you are saying you don't like him.

I've dated men who were very precise... If they got me a scent, or was because they loved it and wanted me to wear it instead of what I had been. (Often a 180 difference in my usual choices).

Ironically, those are the perfumes I prefer TODAY (15 years later), although they didn't suit my pallet back when, now I realize how much more superior they are to my original choices with my chemistry & general personality. (Back when I tended to wear light/citrusy scents... But a few boyfriends were determined to have me in Prada, Chanel Egoiste, Bvlgari, etc... Instead of the Victorias Secret, Tommy, CK, Sunflowers, Abercrombie scents I wore.). I compromised by alternating. I wore "theirs" around them, and mine when they weren't around.

Lol... And today? I wear Prada, Bvlgari, Chanel, Hermes, etc. They really WERE right.

CONVERSELY

I've dated (and was married to) men with no nose, nor care. They bought AWFUL perfume "because one is supposed to buy perfume". It stank to high heaven, gave me headaches, and was just gag-yuck-awful.

I was used to men who knew what they liked, so it was difficult adjusting to men who were clueless.

Clueless men don't usually notice if you trade out their perfume for a decent one. And MOREOVER, tend to like being told which perfumes to buy next time.

S.:

I would tell him the truth. It's not about hurting his feelings, it's about making him aware of the scents you like and work for you.

Tell him - you love that he wanted to try something new for you, you've tried it and it doesn't work for you.

Your husband gave you perfume because he wanted to make you happy, not because he wanted you to smell like something in particular. He probably doesn't measure his self worth by his ability to pick perfumes, so be honest - tell him it doesn't mix well with your chemistry, and find a girlfriend who might want a hand me down perfume!

I would tell him an abridged truth. You love the fact that he gave you perfume, but it doesn't seem to work with your chemistry. Take him perfume shopping, show him scents you do and don't like (floral vs musk).

Then do something he likes that you usually wouldn't do as a reward for putting up with perfume shopping.

Well it took you longer than me! Lol
I told mine I would like a new perfume for Christmas a d he bought me la Bella Vida (or whatever!) from Estée Lauder (not known for 'light' scents!).
I used O. spritz and I hated it in me! Took it back, got something else. He wants me to be happy, not force me to wear something HE likes. I'll bet yours does too!

I would just let him know that it doesn't agree with your body and that you'd like to exchange it for something that smells better on you. And that you love him to pieces for choosing such a thoughtful gift. He probably won't even care. Maybe he saw an ad in a magazine or liked the bottle.... or maybe you two just have different sniffers.
My sister occasionally sends me perfume that smells good on her and that she likes and it smells like cat pee on me.

life is too short to wear scents you don't like.
surely you won't hurt your husband's feelings if you're sweet but honest? 'honey, you are the best. i love that you got me such a thoughtful gift. it doesn't really jive with my pheromones the way that __ or __ do. i was thinking i'd donate it to the women's shelter because it's so popular and i know there are women who can really use it. i just wanted you to know how much i love you for getting it for me.'
if he's pretty thin-skinned and would take THAT as a criticism, i guess you could keep it on your vanity as a decoration and not wear it. but i'd be sad if i had to kid-glove my partner to that degree.
khairete
S.

Tell him thank you but it doesn't work for you. Ask him where he got it so you two can go out together and return it to find a scent you both like. Maybe make it a little romantic thing.

I would ask my husband if he really likes the way it smells on me. Maybe he thought it smelled good in the store but not so much at home. If he doesn't like it, then you can laugh together an do somethign else with it. If he does like it, wear it when you're out with him. Myabe put something under it like a neutral and clean-smelling soap.

He might have gotten that one to show you that he prefers this scent to whatever you've been wearing. If it's quite different, then you can ask why he chose that one. The reason could be that he went to find something and the sales person suggested what was "hot". Both of you could be hating this scent and not wanting to say anything for fear of offending one another. And somebody made a sale. And a stinky perfume has been let loose on the streets.

This reminds me of the art pieces that people buy just because other people buy them. The artist goes undercover to create a stir of interest, creating a demand. Next thing you know, EVERYBODY just HAS to have it. Talk to your hubby.

"Honey, I love you so much for getting me this perfume! But somehow, even though it smells good in the bottle, it doesn't smell good when it's on me! Would you be hurt if I looked for another fragrance? If you and I come up with a really good perfume match for my body chemistry, then you'll know what to give me next Christmas..."

Wear what he bought to bed at night. I'll bet he won't like it either. Then absolutely choose something you like.

If you hide the fact that you get something different, you risk him continuing to buy this tobacco smelling stuff for you over and over.

Men, you know? What can ya do?!

Dawn

I doubt that he will even notice if you don't wear the perfume. I would just not mention the perfume until he eventually forgets about it and then throw it away :)

Explain to him that woodsey perfumes do not mix well with you or your other scented products. Tell him that you like the thought of a new perfume and that maybe a richer one is a good idea and ask if you can go together to find one that works. He may have gone for a totally different scent because he does not like or is bored with what you use and wanted something different to smell OR he has no clue. No matter what if you approach it lovingly no harm no foul let's find one together I do not see where you can go wrong.

I would empty out the awful perfume and refill it with a scent that smells good to me. Hopefully, the scent you like is the same color as the perfume in that bottle. Hopefully, he never realizes that you pulled a switch-a-roo:)!

Hi, S.:

Trade it for something you like.
camille beckman

has roll on parfumes, body lotions, and hand creams

Next time, write on a piece of paper the parfumes you like.
Good luck.
D.