What to Tell the Kids

You've gotten some great responses so far. Just wanted to add that there is a great website called hystersisters.com that has so much great information. I found myself going on it regularly before and after my hysterectomy. I felt very prepared beforehand and had a lot of questions answered afterward that eased my mind on my recovery.

Hope all goes well for you.

My mom had cervical cancer and had to get a hysterectomy when I was 6 and my sister 8 1/2...I hardly remember it. No need to go into what parts are involved unless you feel the need to explain it further in depth. Just warn them that mom has to have an operation, that it's nothing for them to worry about, that you'll only be gone a few days and when they come to visit you or when you come home that you'll be sore for a while so be gentle w/ the hugs (that'll probably take a few reminders). Just be reassuring, but really no need to go into great detail. Your kids will worry some but after they see you're ok they'll get over it pretty fast. Good luck! :)

I had a hysterectomy this February (right in the middle of the 2 biggest snowstorms to hit us in 30 years!) and my kids were 6 & 8 (girls) & 2 (boy). I had been having non-stop bleeding, cramping, etc. for almost 2 years so my girls knew that Mommy was having "trouble with her tummy". I just told them that my doctor was going to do a surgery to fix my tummy and that I would be resting for a few weeks & not be able to do things that I usually did (like drive) until I was feeling better.

My Mom came to stay with us (thank God!) since my husband was working out of state & my ailing FIL was staying with us. Even though the kids ended up being home the ENTIRE time I was supposed to be resting (no steps, no lifting, light activity, etc.) I was able to follow the post-op directions to a T since my Mom was here. I would HIGHLY recommend having another adult in the house at all times, especially the first week, so you are not tempted to do too much - the key to a smooth recovery is to let your body heal.

My kids, even the 2-year old, would ask me every day if my belly was feeling better and the girls loved to do things for me, it made them feel so grown up and helpful! The worst part of the whole thing (after the first few days) was that I could not play in the snow with the kids!

Good-luck! Feel free to email me if you have any more questions!
~ B.

Tell them mommy is having some surgery but it will be fine and they don't have to worry.

The 6 year old probably won't ask questions, but the 9 year old might, and you can tell her as little as you want.

However, the 9 year old is not too young to hear about hysterectomies. They are common enough. You can state it very simply without going into a lot of detail.

I've had enough surgery in my life, and my kids have never paid it any attention. If you act casual about it, they will too.

I hoped to find a children's book on the subject for kids but didn't see one. Perhaps they have one on surgery in general for kids. (I did see some good ones for the prospective patient though that I think I would read if I were deciding to - or have to do this.) I haven't had a hysterectomy but have had a few tummy-area surgeries.

I would start out by keeping it as simple as possible. Something like: "The doctor and I have found out that I need an operation that would be good for me. It is a very common surgery. I will be in the hospital for ___ long. ___ will be here with you and everything will be just like it is.

When I come back home in ___ days, my tummy will be really sore for about ___ and I must take it easy and get lots of rest. I can't lift you or other items,I can't be too playful to protect my tummy from getting kicked as it would hurt a lot and make it hard to heal.

I will let you know when it has healed enough to where I can lift and be more playful. Do you have any questions?"

I think at 6 and 9 years old, they are plenty old enough to have explained to them what is going on and that you will be out of commision for a few weeks, (like 6) and that they will have to be really good and supportive of Mom when she gets home from the hospital. Let them know that sometimes things happen to women's bodies that makes it so that you have to have parts removed, but its all parts that you can live without, (if you don't want to go into detail) but that you will be really sore after so they cannot be jumping around our climbing on you. Personally, I would explain what I was having done because I know from when I was little and my mom had surgery, she didn't tell us what was going on and I worried more until she explained what she had done and then I was put at ease because I knew that everything was going to be okay. I worried more because she was trying to protect me. I think they need to be prepared too.

Just tell them that you have some issues with your baby making parts and that you will be VERY sore and hurt..........so that they can't do things with you for a bit........the 9 year old, you could probably be a little more specific......I always told the kids the correct names for things and such, so talking about it later wasn't going to be so embarrassing...........

You can talk to them, and make it so they will understand.........just don't lie to them if they ask you a question, try to be honest and put in ways they will understand.........
They probably won't make a big deal out of it at all........as long as you show that things will be ok..........

Good Luck, take care and here's to a fast and full recovery.

i had a similar surgery to yours in november & my kids ages 2, 4, 5 new the truth & they were fine.....in fact they were very sweet & delicate & always wanted to kiss my boo-boo's ......i think it was very healthy for them to know that mommy gets sick too & they were very eager to help take care of me....hope all goes well for you & your recovery

I would start with the truth! They're old enough to understand that something serious is going on if you're being admitted to the hospital for surgery, and if you don't discuss it with them, they might assume the worst and be even more worried than if you discussed it openly. I would naturally assure them that it's a routine medical procedure and that you're not going to be in pain and that you're going to be OK!