What to Do with Backtalking 3 1/2 Year Old

It is a good idea to go ahead and gently remind him to be repesctful adn not back talk. For the most part he is probably excited about the full sentances he is startign to use. So i suggest when correcting him you give him the proper thing to say...whatever it is you like to use....
'can you please help me mommy' 'yes maam' 'ok, i will pick up my cars' try not to just say no or scold, tell him what you expect him to say. Jsut stay on top of it b/c it can form into a bad nasty habit.

Things like that are definitely identified and dealt with in our home. There's no reason a 3 and 1/2 year old should feel it's okay to talk to anyone like that. If you allow it, you will most likely continue to see it grow through the years. It needs to be taken care of ASAP using whatever discipline technique your family uses. It's always important to explain the reason for discipline and give lots of love after. We have ours apologize too, but he has to know what he's apologizing for. He's hearing it from somewhere, or he's seeing an attitude like that from somewhere whether it's home, school, tv, neighbors, so you may even want to ask who he heard talk like that. Like us, you may find that there's something you or your husband has said that he caught on to even if it's something uncommon. We found that happened in our home just recently with something small, but it still opened our eyes.

Regardless of whether other kids his age do it or not, it's something that should be taken care of at this early stage. Good luck with it. You can do it, but stick to your guns whatever the disciplinary action is. Let him know ahead of time that if he talks like that again he will receive whatever specific consequence you choose and don't veer.

P.....It began this way for us as well. Our daughter is now 11 1/2 years old and was just today diagnosed bi-polar. She's a wonderful, funny, bright and beautiful girl who just needs some help.
This is something you must just keep on top of. If he 'back-talks', he has to know there will be consequences, and be consistent. At 3 ½ it’s a little bit difficult to explain things verbally, so you may consider time our or the temporary removal of a favorite toy in addition to an attempt at explaining. No, he's not exhibiting teen age behavior - he's testing his limits with you. Later comes testing of authority! *smile* Good luck!

It is so funny to see you question because my 3 1/2 year old daughter does the exact same thing, we usually correct her but when she back talks us with "NO" to her room she goes!! I have heard that when they turn 4, it is a miracle cause they will start behaving better. I think this is where we have to really start correcting them or they think it is ok. Good luck, it sounds like we need it.

It is somewhat normal but you need to deal with it right away for sure or he'll just think that it's okay to talk to you in that manner. Oh yeah be consistent in whatever way you decide best to deal with the situation. Consistency truly is the key.

Hi P.. To answer your question.. yes, totally normal. He is expressing himself.. in our house we use the saying "use your words". And boy does he!! My son is 3 yrs old (this month) and about 3 weeks ago his little horns started to show =). He started doing the same thing. The two's were not terrible for us, but the three's are already promising to be a challenge. From what I hear three is the "terrible" for little boys. Anyways, I am a big reader and I also use my doc for a resource (and of course other Mom's). All have said it's totally normal, but yes, you have to correct it. You may notice also that he will only do it to You or Dad and not other adults. Believe it or not, that is a good sign. My best advice is just stay consistent in whatever you decide to do. While he is three and a half.. he is still only a toddler and little guy who doesn't want to upset or displease Mama!!
Good luck!!

No, it isn't appropriate for a back talk, and it will become a habit. One good thing it sounds like he goes ahead and picks up the toys, but explain to him how this isn't 'nice etc. how would he like someoneto talk to him etc. if this doesn't seem to help at all tell him maybe he can't play with the cars right now today if he is going to talk like that, and on a time out, if he talks back, tell him the time out will last longer (another minute at this age) everytime he back talks. Even if he (thinks it,) he will at least learn not to say it.

I didn't read your other responses but I have a little boy who turned three early Sept. and he tries to talk back as well. I do think it's "normal" but in our house it's unacceptable! He started backtalking and we just told him that it is unacceptable and that he must obey or there would be consequences...he choose not to obey and he continued to backtalk. Now please keep in mind, we do know and realize that he is 3 and a very active little boy! Anyway, he choose to continue saying "NO" and backtalking so I reminded him of our rules and then took the hotsauce out of the fridge, put a dab on my finger and then put it on his tongue-he was so upset but I can guarantee you, it only took two times of hotsauce and the backtalking has improved. We feel that if we let this type of behavior go at this age it will only get worse with age and he has two older sisters who are also not aloud to backtalk or lie! HTH

Warn him about his sassing and what ever he sasses back about put it in time out for a day.

Hi P.,
I suggest that you stop the inappropriate behavior right away. A three year old is old enough to understand that he is doing something that is not acceptable with you, and he needs to know your limits. If you don't stop it now, he will continue to assume it is fine to respond to you that way and continue to do it. It's much harder to control as kids get older. Offer him other acceptable responses and be consistent with enforcing what you want. If necessary, implement consequences. If we as parents have high expectations for behavior, our children will rise to it. Discipline isn't easy, though, and many parents choose to ignore things like that, or think it's cute, and then wonder later why their children have disciplinary problems. Because you love your child, you want to show him proper behavior and instill respect for others.
I hope that helps. It has worked for me.
LeAnne

You have to deal with it now if you want to get it under control later. If my son said that to me, honestly, I would pick them up and throw them in the trash. Then, I would talk to him about respect (the mouth) and also about picking up after himself. 3 1/2 is plenty old enough to have respect and responsibilities.

Hi P., I would give your son a couple of appropriate things to say when asked to do something. My kids have the choice of yes ma'am or okay mama. It may take several times of you reminding him but he will eventually get it right. I still have to remind my 10 yr old sometimes that when I ask a question I want an answer and when I tell him to do something I don't need any other response besides the acceptable 2.

Perfectly normal. My 2 1/2 year old does this on occasion as well. I've noticed that I get a better response if I ASK her to do something rather than TELL her. For example: "Would you please pick up these toys?" generally gets a "Yeah sure" reply, while "Pick up your toys" gets a "No" or she totally ignores me. She knows that the only acceptable answer to my asking is "yes". :) But I also realize that she probably hates being told what to do all the time, so making it a request doesn't make it sound so demanding to her.