What to Do When Your 2 Yr Old Voluntarily Puts Himself in Time Out?

Hi S.,

I have a two year old daughter who does the same thing...When she goes in time out(which is just sitting at the bottom of the stairs) all by herself, I just usually ignore it.. Because I want to teach her that I am in charge of when she goes in time out and when it is time to get up..etc.

But when she does something she is not suppossed to, like hit, push, kick, pull dogs tail. I put her in it and I totally ignore her for 2 min. unless she gets up and then I don't say a word or even look at her, I just pick her up and put her back in time out. Then when the 2 min. are up I sit by her and ask her if she knows why she had to sit in time out...she usaully does!:) Then we say a prayer together and I give her a hug.
The funny thing is when she does go in time out, sometimes she sits and starts folding her hands and saying her own prayer..so it is pretty cute!
I wouldn't worry about it too much, just try to ignore when he does it himself and we also take away book reading time if she is kicking etc..as we are getting ready for bed..so she knows that if she wants me to read any books before bed/nap time she better bahave and not kick, etc. I hope this helps! God bless, M.

I found my daughter did that too when we started using it. In our case, we have a naughty step. In the childs book Olivia, Olivia paints on a wall and has to sit in Time Out, and it was a step, so we followed that. Pretty soon, my daughter would say as proud as could be, "I go and sit on naughty step." We would try and reason with her, and change her interests, but she still wanted to sit there. We let her, she was playing a game. We changed the atmosphere when she was punished. No toys, t.v., music, etc.. Only quiet, we do not talk to her when she is in on the naughty step. We set the timer (1 minute per year)and she can't get up until we talk to her after the timer sounds. We calmly explain that it's more fun to play than to sit on the naughty step, and we explain why she's there, and what she can do better the next time. We always end with a hug and kiss. The wierd thing is that this same naughty step is the very step we play on when we build forts, so the atmosphere is the most important.

I have read that the reason time outs work is because what a child most fears is withdrawl of attention from parents. So, do you totally take away your attention from him during time outs, or does he perhaps get more attention as you monitor him ? When he chooses to do time out voluntarily, do you praise him for that decision (therefore making him want to choose it before you say it)? Also, if the time out that he chooses to do is effective, perhaps that's okay then! Maybe he knows that his behavior gets out of control sometimes, maybe he just wants a moment to settle down?!? Otherwise, I would think that just maintaining an attitude of disapproval and withdrawing attention should help. Good luck!

Try taking away privleges (sorry about the spelling). If you read 3 books before bed make it only 1 and straight to bed. Or maybe a 1/2 hour earlier to bed. Or take away a favorite toy for an hour/day/week. If he likes watching a certain show on tv take turn it off. You'll have to find what he thinks is a punishment and use it.

Time outs still might need to be used in conjunction if he needs to be removed from the situation and have time to cool down.

Best of Luck

Hi S.,
My daughter who is now 3 1/2 used to do the same thing. We found that counting to 5 works well. Another suggestion is that maybe it is time to have him stand instead of sit in the corner. it is fun to sit and play but standing in one place is never any fun for someone his age. So try the standing up and then incorporate the the counting and let him know that when you get to 5 he gets to stand in the corner. The counting still works on my daughter. I hope this helps. I think that he is in such a routine that he is using it to his advantage so change it up a little.

From one mom to another,
M. B

I would just put the naughty chair in a different place that he doesn't like. I used to put my kids in the corner but they started to pick holes in the drywall so now it's in their beds and for twice as long. Maybe get rid of the naughty chair and just make him sit on the floor. Make it your idea though because it sounds like a control issue. Next time he goes and voluntarily sits on it say, "ooh no, now you get to sit on the floor" and take the chair away.

Hi S.- my 2 yr old daughter just started doing this also....I wasn't happy about it either. Now, I actually just let her put herself in time out...Now she sits in her room and then comes out and says she is sorry...It is kinda like she understands that she was doing something wrong before I had the chance to tell her.. I'm not sure it is such a bad thing.