Naughty Chair/Time Out Help!

Ah yes, the time out chair. I used the time out chair for my second boy, it was the only thing that worked with him, however it was a challenge to get him to stay. I finally put him in the hallway facing away from the livingroom, away from any walls and anything he could touch. I repeatedly told him that everytime I had to tell him to sit back down I was going to restart the time and he couldn't get back up until then. I also repeatedly told him that I wasn't going to answer any of his questions and everytime he talked to me I was going to restart the timer. It took pressistance, but in time he saw that I was just as if not more stubborn then he was. After a while all I'd have to say to him is "go get the time out chair." and he'd be on his best behavior and stop whatever it was he was doing.
Good luck, it'll all come around eventually!

I found that my son would keep getting out of his "naughty chair" because he wanted my attention. I was constantly holding him in and putting him back. I finally put him there and ignored him and didn't talk until he apologized. Now he puts himself into time out!!!

Hi Valerie,

I agree, 10 seconds is not enough time. If your daughter is three, three minutes in time-out is fine. If she won't stay in time out, walk her back and walk away. If this whole process takes 45 minutes, it will be time well-spent. Put her in, set the timer, put her back, reset the timer, put her back, reset the timer....as long as it takes. Tell her when the timer rings, she can come to you to talk about what happened.

Stay strong, get a grip on this early and the paybacks will be immeasurable! Good luck!

C.

10 seconds IS NOT enough time for a time out.

When she needs to have a time out, set a timer for 2 minutes.

If she refuses to sit, sit along side of her with your hand on her lap to restrain her.

Don't look at her during time outs, don't talk, turn the other way or look straight ahead. By acknowledging her and giving her more attention when she is being naughty gives her the wrong message.

Nip this in the bud now. If you let her get up and run around, then the wrong person is in charge. Valerie - you have to gain the control back ASAP. It might be a struggle the first few days - but your daughter WILL get it.

Good Luck,
D. in milwaukee

I would keep putting her in her timeout spot and not allow her to get out unless you tell her she's done. You might want to use a timer and once the timer rings she can get out and apologize etc.

If you let your child win she will continue to take control.

I have a very headstrong 4 yr old and found the key word is "consistancy" as hard as it may be. Allowingher to get up before time out is done has given control to her, and if she's anything like mine, once she's had control, she does everything to keep it! It was suggested to me to check out the "Love and Logic" books, course etc. It's been a big help! Good luck.

I am a big believer in giving kids choices. If she chooses not to sit in time-out, then simply tell her she will not be allowed to do other things until she makes the right choice. If she wants toys, juice, to play outside, whatever...just let her know those are priveledges that can be earned by taking her time-out like you asked. My kids are a little older so maybe this won't work quite as well for you yet, but I very rarely have to get into a stressful argument with my kids. The other thing I did when they were younger is use 1-2-3 Magic. You can buy a great book that explains this method in detail but it is basically telling her your expectations, explaining the consequences, and then counting to three. The key is to not let her engage you in an argument while you are counting and to make sure you follow through with the consequences every time. Good luck to you. The time you put in now will be worth it in a few years.

K.

I have seen the nanny on tv try something like changing the location to a room (preferrably not her bedroom), like a guest room or laundry room so she can move around a bit, but technically still be following the rules. Or if you stick with the naughty chair tell her her time out doesn't start until she sits nice and quiet. Get an egg timer and have it where she can see that you haven't set it yet. Good luck, sounds like your in a tough spot.