What to Do About a Soon to Be Ex- Step-Grandfather

H.,
Well if you and your husband agree that you don't want him talking to him...then just simply tell all of them INCLUDING "John" that you don't think its fair for him to let your son keep "chatting" with him when as soon as he moves out, most likely he is going to be out of your sons' life and why prolong what is going to end up happening...If "John" keeps coming in and out of your sons life, its just going to keep breaking your sons heart. Why prolong what is eventually going to happen anyways...I say cut ties now. He isn't missing out on a Grandfather figure with your dad and father in law. Reese will grow and eventually "John" will just be an old memory of someone that was once in his life. I have a few people that were like that in my life and I am no worse for the wear. Its better to do it now rather than wait. My advice though, is that even though you may have bitter feelings toward "John"...hold the bad talk for when your son is not around. He doesn't need to know all that is involved with why this is going on. Let him have the good memories of "John" and just move on. =) Hope this helps!!

from everything you said i dont see anything wrong with Reese talking to your step father on the phone. he seems nice to him and in no way bitter towards him. i think maybe you're just upset at how he is treating your mom and not wanting him to have the right to talk to you or your son. sense they live far away anyway i dont think you have a problem keeping them apart and i'm sure that soon enough maybe a years time after he has moved out of your moms place Reese will have stopped thinking or even forgotten about him.

Hi H.,

The child has formed a bond with John. It would be a pity to allow this bond to be interrupted. You could ask John if he would like to maintain his relationship with your son. If he does, ask him if he would be willing to go to the Mediation center to set up some agreeable times that he could be a part of your son's life. There are two mediation centers in Norfolk.

Good luck. You are very wise in trying to maintain a relationship for your son's benefit. D.

Hi H... you know.. life is short and hard and lonely at times.. Why remove someone from your son's life who loves him? Unless PawPaw no longer wants to be in his life... but if that is not the case.. let him talk to pawpaw every now and then.. and write him letters (great educational fun) and send pictures.. they can be pen pals. Even if you do eventually lose touch through the years... don't take his PawPaw away-- I think you should tell your son the truth.. PawPaw and MawMaw :) live in different places now but they both still love you so much!!

L.

I think Grandparents are a commodity. They are not always going to be here. I think you should find out what John's intentions are after he and your mother divorce. Does he want to keep in contact with reece and is that ok with you? I think that the only persons being hurt in this situation, outside of the divorce, are John and Reece. Let them talk to eachother. Even when he leaves. Maybe John will always consider Reece his Grandson and they may form a bond that boys sometimes do with grandpa's and that is what is most important. And is John ever does step out of the picture completely, just be honest with your son best way possible based on his age and tell him that Meemaw and Peepaw don't love eachother anymore and that it was their decision to move apart and move on. I think it is a surprise what our children can understand and are resilient to. Best of luck!