What Passed for "Me" Time Now That You Have Kids?

Well, it used to be potty time, but now they stand at the door and scream for me, so that has come to an end too.

LOL! I can so relate!

When my son was an infant, I would stalk the mailman just to be able to "speak" to another adult!

And 30 minutes with a bagel and hot tea at Panera felt like a week in the Bahamas.

It gets better--hang in there!

Right now my kids are painting... and I am here and doing chores and prepping dinner, all at the same time.
This is "me" time... my kids are busy and painting. They are not fighting and are being real nice and cooperative and are on Fall Break.
Any minute I can get, is "Me" time.

The other time is when: after EVERYONE goes to bed, including Hubby. That is also "me" time. Just me.

This too, shall pass. Pretty soon they'll be over at friend's houses and you'll be wondering when they are coming home. Then they'll be at football games and parties and you'll be wondering when they are coming home. Then they'll be at college and you'll be hoping they come home on vacation...
Enjoy it - every minute of it. Soon enough you'll have your time back...
It seems like an eternity when you are living it, but really, this is just a blip on the radar screen of life.
LBC

I was in the dentist's chair for three hours this afternoon getting a root canal. But MIL has the kids, so it must have been "me" time!

I get up early just so I can have me time. This morning I got up at 4am, did some homework, did some devotions, put away some laundry and sat on the porch w/a steaming cup of coffee before the husband got up at 6 and the kid got up at 6:30. 2 1/2 hrs of sweet blissful peace. But on the daysI can't get up early I am.....

Locking myself in the pantry eating a Kit Kat.

Locking myself in the laundry room eating a Ding Dong.

Turning up my iPod really loud so I can't hear anyone.

Washing dishes...they actually leave me alone b/c they know I will make them help me. Sometimes, I keep the water running just to let them think I am still washing but really, I'm leaning on the counter reading a magazine eating either a Kit Kat or Ding Dong.

It gets better when they get older. My lost looked like yours a few years ago. Now that my youngest is 5, my me time list is great:

Go to the gym
Go for a run
Go for a long bike ride
Garden
Read in the hammock
Have lunch/dinner/drinks with a girlfriend or two (or five)
Go to the garden club
Go to my monthly working mom dinner/night out
Go out for drinks after the monthly PTA meeting
Read at night when the kids are in bed
Stay up late watching Criminal Minds
Rent a movie on a Friday or Saturday night to watch while they're sleeping
Wasting time here or on FB

Hang in there - they're only very little once and it does get better!

A long hot shower.. and that's pretty much it.

Before bed rest it was cooking in the kitchen with my husband keeping our DD in the living room.. yeah, that's a little depressing lol.

Uh, going to work?! I love the drive in the car, where I rock out to the music of my choice & zone out.

sounds just like my house. getting to take a nice hot bath either after all the kids are in bed or having hubby watch them while i enjoy it. that would probably be the most "me" time I get other than those that you described.

Wow, this is funny to think about. I am the same way...The most interesting part about really thinking about this is knowing that when I have had time to myself out with girlfriends or a massage, I have a little anxiety. It's as if i don't really know how to relax when I am truly taking time for myself and even think about all of the household style things I could be doing.

PS. My favorite feeling is on late Saturday afternoon after cleaning the entire house, I love to sit and enjoy a glass of wine and watch my saved episodes for a few hours. It's a perfect moment...enjoying the fruits of my labor, breathing in the clean fresh air of my home, admiring my wonderful life and loving taking care of my family and their environment. :)

So sad to read Ladybug's answer, not because she is wrong, but because it seems like it's either feast or famine with motherhood!!! I work with kids teaching all day, and I have my two kids and husband at home, so the only relaxing "me" time I get is the occasional pedicure, the quick trip to the mall by myself, or a fun time out with a friend to dinner or a movie or something. The rest of the alone time isn't the kind I really want... driving to work is great but I'm going to work, not somewhere I want to be! Grocery shopping alone is a hell of a lot easier than with even one kid, but again, it's groceries... *sigh*! What I REALLY want is the kids in bed on a weekend and my husband out of the house so I can have the TV and remote all to myself! Mindless TV is something I find I crave since I became a mother, and my husband's ongoing history or PBS shows make me nuts!!! Fun question!

When i was pregnant with my 2nd, I looked forward to doing the blood glucose test (the screening for gestational diabetes when you have to drink that orange stuff and wait for an hour to get your blood drawn). My son was like 18 months old, and I got to leave him with a babysitter for a whole 2 hours while I went to sit in the hospital and read a book! It was heavenly :)

Me Time?

Taking a bath that is longer than 10-15 minutes... alone (without any babies joining me)

VERY occasionally getting to go get my hair done at the salon.

Getting time to blow dry my hair or do my makeup...

Surfing the net kind of qualifies as "me time" - although for me it is usually double duty with watching the kids as well.

That said, I am not really a "me time" type of person. I love being around people, and I love spending "fun" time with my family... Even before I had kids I wanted to hang out with people and hang out with my husband MORE than I did... and now even more so. Being an only child with parents that were very loving... but not very fun... I got LOADS of "me time"- so that as an adult I don't crave it a lot.

-M.

Haha... Sounds like my life. But now I just added me working 40 plus hours to my list on mt resume. so before when the kids went to bed I would get to relax and just enjoy. Now I get to fold my laundry and watch my cruddy reality tv that I am sometimes too embarrased to admit I watch! haha.

Have a good evening!

Arriving early in the pickup line at school and reading a magazine while I wait for the kids to get out.

We put our kids to bed fairly early so we get lots of "us" time (which to me is even better). We watch a ton of TV and movies together in the evening. I much rather have to get up earlier in the morning than have them up during prime time.

Also, Facebook time while 1 kid is at school and other is napping.

My younger one is now in preschool 5 days a week (although I work 2 of those) so I finally get to go to the store alone!!!

I agree with going grocery shopping alone. My s-i-l and I laugh that shopping alone is now considered "me time".

LOL, this is a fun question. I only have one child but i do work FT (which stinks).
And oh yeah I took on a second, part-part-time work from home job to test the waters to see if maybe I could just do that and quit my 'real job' to get some semblance of 'staying home' (we'll see....) so now I spend MOST of my son's weekend naps on the computer doing that.
Anyway, "me time" consists of:
- Squeezing in 15 minutes of watching shows I've recorded on DVR.
- Taking a long shower on Saturday and Sunday mornings while DH plays with DS.
- Reading books for 5 minutes while I'm on the commode
Ummm yeah that's about it....kinda pathetic I know, but being a Mom is so worth it!

well, I get my 'me" time when Delilah is at preschool or at her grandparents house.
I usually do work (I'm a WAHM and I'm an article editor), watch tv and relax, clean the house and spend time with the baby in my belly.
plus I like to go shopping and hang with my friends & family.

Well I actually would like to know too because the only thing I could think of is when I'm bathing which is not all that either since the baby is crying banging on the door. I don't think it exists until the child goes to school. Good luck Mommy!

My only 'me' time is when the kids are asleep. Even then it is usually interrupted by the baby waking up.
L.

Tuesdays from 12-3 :)
Otherwise its while Im at work. Thats the only time other than on here and my husband that I talk to adults. Work is the only place I don't have a child interupting my conversations or tugging or fighting or whatever...

I can't even say its when Im sleeping, because I still get up atleast once but more realisticly 2-3 times with my daughter or our son crawling into bed with us. Using the bathroom seems more like a public veiwing. Bath time well kids are coming in to use the bathroom or the little ones splashing while Im in it ( really need a second bathroom!!). The oldest kids are awake as long as I am. I get up when the kids do... so my only awake "me" time is at work or the 2min drive there and home... then Tuesdays from 12-3 while the two littles ones are both in preschool.

I BARELY get any...

IF my one year old naps while the 3 year old is at preschool for 2.5 hrs, two days a week. At which point, I clean, do laundry, take a shower etc.

With two little ones now, it's practically non exsistent. Sometimes if I wake up before them, even if it's really early I will get up in hopes of just being left alone for 30 minutes or so just to have coffee. And I swear, EVERY time one or both wakes up in minutes. It's maddening LOL
I try to think that one day in the future I will miss them being little, and they won't want to be with me so that keeps me from going totally insane!

Showering, 4 miles @ gym, & pilates. Also , as someone stated earlier, the random doc appt. ,I may be lucky enough to go on my own.

Taking a shower or bath if I'm really lucky, going to my classes, and after the kids' bedtime. Fortunately, my kids are on a great sleep schedule and they are all in bed for the night between 7-8pm.

Sitting in the dentist chair today for nearly 2 hours, while the hygenist chiseled away at 7 years of gunk.

What's "me" time? Ha ha. Just kidding. My list is pretty much exactly like yours, only my husbands interpretation is when I volunteer at the school, go to the park with the kids and when he takes the baby and I have the other three. Hmmmm. I don't think there is such a thing for a while.

Enjoy!

I know how you feel. I work, so I get about 15 minutes to myself during the drive, but no nap break during the week.

The other day, I was driving away from my house and experienced a giant surge of freedom. Then I realized - I was about to go grocery shopping. Then I realized I was alone - and got that surge again.

So sad.

waking up at 5:30am instead of 6:00am so that i can get on here and check facebook :)

Haha, I remember when my only 'me time' was running down to the basement to do laundry. At least I was alone for a few minutes.

I went back to work a year ago, and now that is my 'me time'. I have the drive each way to jam out to the radio, I get to have adult conversation and take a nice long lunch, etc...plus I bring home a nice paycheck. Its a win win.

Taking a bath with less than two interruptions. Interruptions ALWAYS welcome if it is my husband bearing food, wine, or tea, or my husband bearing nothing if the kids are asleep (or at least down for the night), but ONLY if I had a few minutes of quiet first.

A quick Saturday morning trip to the antique store up the road to walk around in the quiet ALONE (bonus if I find something small and inexpensive, don't care if I don't, love chatting with the owner).

Saturday evening run (only 2.5 miles) before dinner (I haven't done this for a few weeks so I will be starting over with trying to run a mile I'm sure).

Five minutes while getting ready for work that I am now committed to taking for reading at least one chapter in my Bible while I drink my coffee. I'm still rushing but since I HAVE to drink my coffee, I've been making the effort and it helps.

It seems like this is a challenge for everyone. When our second baby came this year, my husband and I took a hard look at our lifestyle and figured out what we wanted it to look like: a better balance for having "me" time for both of us, and at the same time, dedicated quality family time. We established that Tuesday nights, he can do whatever he wants, mostly either working late or at the gym, but sometimes he meets a friend for a drink or dinner. I have both the kids (9months & 4.5yrs) on my own. Sometimes we hit the gym for an hour after day care. Still gets us home by 7 for dinner and bedtime by 9. On Thursday nights, he has both kids on his own, and I do whatever I want. One Friday per month, our day care has "Camp Runamok" where they keep the kids until 10:30 for $20 per child, enough time for date night.
Additionally, we try to keep our household pretty efficient. We have relatively short commutes (30 mins). We have a small house. We cook once or twice a week for the whole week. One person cleans the kitchen and quickly sweeps while the other does bath with the kids. We wash all the laundry overnight and while at work. Once the kids are asleep, we power through folding laundry together in about 15 minutes on one night each week. Still leaves about an hour or so before 10:30 to watch a show, catch up on email, have a glass of wine or some together time!
I feel like I have 1 hour of "me" time every night after the kids go to bed. And I feel like I have 1 night/week for "me time", and 1 night per month that my husband and I have "us" time.
I think the thing that makes this arrangement work is my husband - he's an equal partner in terms of doing laundry, picking up toys, and he's equally (or more than I) comfortable handling both kids at home for dinner, bath, books & bedtime. We both work full-time jobs at 50+hour weeks. I think we're happier than we've ever been now, since we've been forced to establish a better, balanced routine now that we have 2.

My train ride to work and back and those rare times I do get to run to the store with no kids. ]
Sometimes, my older kids have my younger one outside. Not much for me time but I do get something done but keep watch on what they are doing.

I read through several of your answers because I, too, struggle with finding "me time." I have two little ones of my own and run an in-home child care 45hrs/week.

I found Laura S's answer the MOST helpful, by far!! I was, however, a little bummed by some of the answers that fell into the "I-am-a-Mom,-therefore-I-must-give-up-myself" category.... I understand that "children are only little once" and "it all goes too fast." Believe me, I see it everyday...and it makes my heart ache that my little boys are growing up so fast! BUT... I am still important in all of this. If I don't take care of myself, I am going to get burnt out...and then I won't be good for anyone - my kids, my husband, or myself! After 5.5 years of giving and giving and not doing for myself, I am finally realizing it. It doesn't mean I will not be there for my children when they need me, or that I need to hire someone to help me cook or clean or watch my kids...but it DOES mean that I will take a couple of hours a week to do something I enjoy without my family...and not feel guilty about it! My husband is perfectly capable of being "in charge" of everything for a few hours a week. The world will not fall apart if I decide to see some girlfriends for dinner, or go to a bookstore, or go get a massage one night after DH gets home from work. In fact... the world will probably be better for it!!

So... In the constant struggle to balance it all, I am pledging to take care of myself, as well as my family. I need it...and so do they!

Me time, is the biggest myth generated by the media, EVER. There is no me time when you have kids. Me time, is now their time. You are over, gone. You are a means to an end, a wiper of poopy bums, feeder, cleaner, driver. I never get any me time.

Hi jane-

When my kids were all younger...

POTTY TIME

(for me)

was my alone time!!

lol

Best luck!
michele/cat

Reading a magazine while sitting on the toilet. I can really stretch these bathroom visits out for a looooong break :) I've even started flossing just to extend my private time.

I so relate! Any non-kid time is a time for chores. So the "me time" has to happen while I am with the kids, or while I am doing the chores.

More "me time"
Rocking out to my favorite music while I mop the floor... til the kids yell at me that they can't hear whatever video I put on to distract them while I do this tedious chore.
Going on an errand alone. I too find the grocery store AMAZING by myself.
The 5 minutes I am alone in my car and get to listen to grown up music between dropping my kids off at grandma's and heading to work.
Sometimes cooking dinner if my hubby takes the kids outside with him to do yardwork. I find a glass of wine helps the cooking process feel more like "me time" ;)
Reading Us magazine in the playroom on fridays while the kids play on and around me.
10 minutes of doing a crossword puzzle after putting my husband to bed and before conking out myself.

It's like, what the heck did I do all evening and all weekend when I didn't have kids???? I can't even remember anymore.

Well, I find going to the dentist fun! You get to lay down for a whole 30 minutes without being disturbed :)

And everything you list passes for fun too!

I used to love hanging diapers after they were washed, it was my big me time event. Glad not to have to deal with diapers anymore, but I really did love that time.

Now, I run, swim, or bike without my son and husband. I also sometimes count working as me time, depends on how stressed I feel that day, but it is the only time I get to be home by myself.