Need Suggestions on How to Decompress After a Busy Work-at-home Day.

I weed the garden.
No one wants to help with that so I'm guaranteed all the me time I want out there.

you could put on some walking shoes and go for a quick exercise. Find a podcast you really enjoy and listen and walk.

I go for a drive. With or without the radio on and I always turn off my phone. I don't go on the highway - just back country roads or even through the suburbs. I'm alone and I'm not in a hurry to be somewhere. I like to drive in silence but sometimes when I do listen to music, its always what I want to hear and I can sing along without my family making fun of me. I know its not very energy efficient but its very therapeutic for me.

And the best thing is that all roads always leads to home :)

Well first off, I hope you have someone come in during the day, to watch over them while you work, make them lunch, take them to the pool or whatever. I can't imagine trying to work a full time job with kids underfoot! So if you don't have help, GET SOME, even if it's just a young teen mother's helper to entertain them and keep them occupied.
Secondly, take a few nights, and maybe a Saturday or Sunday morning, and go work out, have coffee, take a class, whatever, either alone or with a friend, just a few hours here and there for yourself. I had certain times during the week when my husband knew I'd be gone and he would be in charge.
You need to put your "me" time on the schedule like anything else, otherwise it won't happen.

It's a perfectly legitimate question, and you sell yourself short when you make light of it. You are tired, you have too much to do, and you are trying to take care of everyone else (job boss or clients, kids, husband, house) and there's no time for YOU. I work at home too, and I'll bet when you are working, you are either throwing in a load of laundry (or thinking about it), getting a jump start on dinner (or thinking about it), listening for kid sounds in the other room and so on. While you have no commute, you also have no change of scenery whatsoever. So your work stresses, family stresses and personal stresses all reside within the same 4 walls.

If you can meditate while keeping everyone quiet and while not thinking about the clock or something else you should be doing, great. Same with reading. If you can exercise, that's good too - a treadmill in front of a different TV than what's in the family room or one with a book rack can let you escape for a half hour, and you can set it for 30 minutes so you aren't checking your watch all the time. Have a DVD or a book that really let you escape, though - no fair reading news shows or magazines that stress you out!

Otherwise, get out of the house and take a walk. Don't take your cell phone! Just you, maybe with some music on an iPod - but something purely escapist.

It sounds like you have good family activities such as board games and playing - that's great! But what do you mean by "I was whipped and not as light hearted as I should have been"?? Are you putting too much pressure on yourself to be perky and entertaining and totally into hearing about other people's days rather than doing something for YOU?

Do you have a plan for others to take on the dinner prep responsibilities at least some of the time? Do you cook on the weekends (with everyone) so that a lot of meals are already made? The best thing you can do for your family is to take care of yourself, and to make them self-sufficient. Kids do best at college and on their own if they've learned to cook, sort/wash/fold laundry, tidy up their backpacks and piled up shoes by the door. And the girls do better as strong women and the boys treat women better if they haven't watched their own mother get worn out and always "do" for others and never for herself! So if it helps, think that doing something for you also does something to help them!

As for guilt when they go off on their own - no matter how much time you spend with them, you will miss them and wish the years haven't gone so fast. What would be even worse was looking back and thinking you weren't as whole or centered or decompressed as you should have been. So take care of yourself because there's no way to fill in those blanks after they are gone, and you will have missed showing them that moms are full human beings too who deserve a break.

I have a very short commute and know what you mean. Sometimes I'm fine coming home and jumping right in and sometimes I just want a little time. But I think taking 15 min helps a lot but it's really a personal preference what you do. So you need to think what helps you the most and the most quickly. For me it's a bit of TV on my ipad. Or reading a book. For some people it may be exercise. Just think what it is that helps you most. Maybe experiment. And honestly some days an hour is what I need. Not going to get it usually... What also might help is to give each kid 5-10 min each. Not sure how many kids you have or how old. Let them talk to you so then they may be more more content to let you have 1/2 hour. I've found that to be true quite often. I don't actually ask for the time vs they have their needs met and then are content to play with each other. I let my kids watch some tv after dinner btw. Then I almost always get 1/2 hour or so to decompress. Are yours watching any? A little wouldn't hurt and is a way to buy some time.

I was in retail for over 30 years. What I realized is that when I got home, I just needed to be alone for about 20 to 30 minutes. I did not mind walking in and getting and giving hugs, but I did not do well with a bunch of questions, requests and complaints.

So my husband and I devised a way that he and our daughter would give me a hug and then I would go straight to our bedroom and stay in there about 20 to 30 minutes. No phone calls.. no knocking. Nothing expected from me.

Sometimes I would find a glass of Iced tea , glass of wine or a cocktail!
Sometimes I would lay down with my eyes closed. Sometimes, I took a shower, sometimes I just sat in there in a daze. Ha! But this is what I needed. No calls, no knocking on the door, no pages NO Questions!

So figure out what would work for you. Consider going to bed earlier. Surly your kids can go to bed when they are ready to sleep. At least give it a try. As we mature, we need to get more sleep.

Once I stayed home full time, I took a short nap everyday and It was awesome!

How old are your kids if you are in your 50's? They must be able to go and do things on their own at this point. Get dinner started, go out with friends, your husband can give them permission for whatever, when he gets home and I am sure they understand, when mom goes into her bedroom and her door is closed unless their hair is on fire, they should leave you alone.

I have 2 kids that are 7 and 11.
And you know what I do and have always done since they were younger?
I am honest with forthright with my kids and just TELL them "Mommy is tired/fatigue/stressed etc. and I need a break. I need quiet. I am going over there and just do what I need to do. IF you need me and it is urgent then call me. But I want quiet now. Do you understand?" And my kids DO understand. And they are respectful of that. And they do it.
And they leave me alone, to have quiet.
Or I will tell them "Mommy is busy... I am doing my desk work now, I need to concentrate." And they understand. And they do it.

You see, my thinking is, IF you speak to your kids and tell them what YOU need too, then they understand. BUT if you always submerge your own need for quiet or decompression, then the kids never learn... that. Need.
I am always honest and forthright with my kids. And so now at their ages they understand.
And when/if I am PMS'ing... and grumpy, I TELL my kids "Mommy is a bit grumpy/stressed today... can you help?" and they understand.
And when/if I am SUPER BUSY... I tell them that. And they understand.
My telling them that does NOT spoil their "childhood." I am always there for them. But SOME days, are difficult. And I verbalize and tell my kids. It is life.

Therefore, when I need to decompress. I tell my kids.
It is no big deal. They understand.
And then, on some days Husband will be more helpful too. When I speak up.

I tell my kids things.
If they call me, as kids typically do, and I am busy chopping an onion in the kitchen I just say "Wait a minute. I am busy. I will get there, just hang on or you can come to me... I am cooking..." And they understand.
If they say MOMMY LETS PLAY OUTSIDE NOW! I will say "Hang on a minute, I am cleaning the bathroom, just go ahead without me until I get there...."
Or I say "Mommy wants to read her book and relax....." and they immediately know... that I am reading.a.book.and.need.to.relax.
My kids know that already, and they know, me.

Then again, they KNOW I am right there whenever they need me. I always tend to them. I am always a typical Mom who is at their kids' beck and call. But sometimes, I need to relax. And I TELL them, and I do it, and they understand. They know me. Because I have always verbalized things to them and explain, things.
My kids are VERY active physically and verbally.
But they understand.
And likewise, because I tell them these things, they know themselves too and how they feel and can verbalize it to me, too.

I would recommend Yoga. It's quiet, it's relaxing and it's great exercise. It's even something that is great for kids, so you can decompress and be with your family.

I work at home too. The way I love to decompress is to go for a walk outside.It gives the dog exercise and gets me away from the house for a bit.

I work from home and use my lunch break to do an exercise DVD. I can eat, get in a 1/2 hour workout, take a shower and get back to work. The mid-day exercise helps give me energy for the rest of my day. It really makes a difference for me. If I waited until the evening to work out, it would never happen.

It's wonderful not commuting, but I know from my own experience that working from home is still stressful. (After all, it's work!)

HAHAHA B!!! me too! no one will bother me out there!
I would suggest some form of physical activity. Maybe even just a short walk with some good music.

I know what you're saying: you need the time, you feel guilty & you won't get this time back w/your kids.
However, a happy mom is a good mom.
There isn't anything written in the stars that says we can't carve out 30 mins a day for just us for our mental health.
How about if you take that time right after work to decompress.
Tell the family you will be unvailable for 30 mins when your work day ends then you will help them w/whatever they need & engage w/the.
The best thing you can do is leave the house by taking a walk by yourself.
You can, also, slip away to the library for 30 mins before they close for
some quiet time to read a book or magazine.
You could run an errand to a fun store nearby.
Or go to the grocery store to look around but not buy anything.
The key is 30 mins right after work by yourself.
It doesn't need to be more than that though at that time of day.
Take this time for yourself then re-engage.
You could, also, run out to get a fast pedicure nearby.
Meet a neighbor for a walk around the block a few times.
I rarely get this time but when I do get it.....I am a happier, calmer person.
I love my kids and I hate being away from them but have found 30 mins a day can work miracles. Best of luck!

I totally get where you are coming from. Even SAHMs like myself need a bit of down time on in a while... If I was working all day with my kids around, you can bet I would be insisting on getting at least 30 minutes of down time.

I would say to join a gym, and see if they have an evening class of some sort. Preferably something fun, like Zumba or kickboxing. :)

Or, run yourself a nice bath, add a few oils (or milk, or oatmeal, or whatever you want to make it luxurious...) and soak for 20 with a good book. :)

See if your local community college has any classes, or local art places. Some pottery places have ladies nights. If your local library is open late, go there and chill with a good book. Or hit a coffee shop with a good book. Maybe even a bubble bath or something - hubby has to run point while you chill.

Okay, all the other moms who work from home put their kids in child care. Why aren't yours in child care? Really, if you're at work they need to be out of the house. That's the problem. You can't work and them be there too.

Find some place for them to go during the day. You don't say how old they are though. If they're older, tweens/teens then they are smart enough to stay away from you while you're working. If they are elementary age or younger you must take the summer off work OR put them in child care.

For those responding to put the kids in childcare - she said IF the kids are home, just because they may go to camp/daycare doesn't mean they aren't home as soon as her workday is over.
I WAH, my kids go to camps most weeks. However, camp is almost always over as soon as my work day is over, so just like OP no downtime between work/mom. If hubby is home I plan errands right after my workday, just something to get me out of the house for a little while and sometimes the kids even come with me. If hubby isn't home I'll talk to the kids while I pick up or do dinner prep, but then I sit down to read and they know that's 'Mom' time. If they are being pests - I just tell them Mom had a busy day and needs a little quiet time.

Decompress??? Let's see. I get up at 5:45 drive 20 miles to pick up granddaughters and drive 20 miles back home. Haves 2yo and 5 month old. I run all day. Up the stairs down the stairs. Pack everyone up to meet friends at park. Also pack lunch. Run my errands, do laundry etc. then I do same round trip in the evening. Get home, cook etc. I am 64. Down time only exists when I sleep. So count your blessings you do not have to commute. You arelucky to be able to WAH. I am hoping my son and DIL will move close to me by the end of summer.

I have a highly stressful job and more often than not wind up feeling like work mom and home mom. Most days I come home and have nothing left to give to my kids which aggravates me. Then there's the whole guilt of why am I complaining and my kids need me so I can't very well ignore them. I can't get my time back with them. Overall I very much feel your pain. What I do is ask my husband to watch our kids while I cook. I can spend time focused on cooking a good meal without any little ones underfoot, driving me nuts. The bonus is dinner has to be cooked so it's a two for one in my book - cooking done, down time done. If I still need something extra to recharge, I wait until my kids go to sleep. My husband and I either watch a PBS type show or I read a book in the bathtub. For me figuring out how and what to decompress with is an ever changing thing. My husband has similar issues so I know it’s not just me or you. It’s the realities of work-life-family-individual balance. Good luck.

I work from home as well. We run our company from home so we are on it 24/7 with no set hours.

Sometimes I will just go lay down on my bed and enjoy complete peace and quiet for a half hour or so to recharge. Other times, I will take a brisk walk around the block and get fresh air. Around 4-5 I will have a glass of wine.

Everyone needs some time to decompress, work from home or not. Just figure out what best suits you.

Children grow up so quickly. We all have our not so great moments, we need to recognize those and act on them. The problem is if someone won't recognize it and try to improve.

Best wishes

Have you had your blood checked to see if you are in menopause?

Good luck

Maybe you need to get out of the house once in a while. And I'm not talking about grocery shopping. See if there is a once a week yoga class or meditation class near by. Dad can take care of the kids while you are gone. And it's only once a week. But that may be all you need.

I would love to WFH, my problem is the commute and running to be at my desk on time and being there to do pick up at school/camp stresses me out. I am not saying your situtation is not stressful but cutting out the commute to and from work helps out alot. Get up early, go for a walk or set aside some time during the day where the kids and you have some down time. Also try to set aside times where you are dedicated to work, on snow days I will say to my son I am working for the next 45 mins (set timer), give him an activity to do or he has to keep himself occupied for that set amount of time then I spend a short time doing something with him. You can also have your kids help out with chores daily to help eliminate some of the stress.