What Makes a Good Friendship?

Updated on November 14, 2008
D.S. asks from Farmington, MN
5 answers

I come from a family, where my dad didn't like to have people around so we didn't have lots of friends. Now I am older and sometimes I still wonder about things. Here is my question. When it comes to friends what do you expect from them? Are there different levels of friends? What is a best friend? By the way I usually start out being a good friend, I think. I help friends move, I help them with their kids, and I am a very good listener. It seems that those things aren't given back and I am not sure does that mean they really don't want to be my friend or am I taking it too serious? Do I need to back off on what I expect myself to do as a friend? I am really curious and want to know what other people think.

What can I do next?

  • Add yourAnswer own comment
  • Ask your own question Add Question
  • Join the Mamapedia community Mamapedia
  • as inappropriate
  • this with your friends

More Answers

Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

A.H.

answers from Sioux Falls on

In my opinion there are many types of friends. I have my close friends, that I talk to almost every day and know everything about me. There are my friends that I see or talk to once in a while and know the basics. And there are the friends that I see once in a long while that are like a good piece of chocolate, very good for a short period of time. All are important and I know all would do anything for me as I would for them. It's just some are closer than others.
Each friendship is different, with some friends you have to talk everyday and see each other once a week to make it work, with others you can talk once a year and never see each other and still be best friends. It all depends on the people and where they are at in their lives.
There is no right answer for a friendship... it's what ever people want it to be.

Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

P.P.

answers from Minneapolis on

I'm in the same boat as you and I concentrate too much on what they think of me and if I'm doing the right things. I'm so uneducated on being a good friend.

I think you're doing things like friends would do but I don't think a friend would expect things in return but I think sometimes we do because we don't want it to be one-sided.

I find that when people get to know me I back away because I'm worried what they'll think and who will hear the gossip from their mouths. I can't trust anyone and it ruins my friendships. It doesn't sound like you're like this though.

I wish you the best of luck in sorting this out for yourself. You received good advice and so did I. I'm just not sure I can change myself enough to fix myself and my ways but I hope you can get things set and have great friendships come your way:)!

Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

M.H.

answers from Cedar Rapids on

I think its different for everyone. Everyones needs and expectations are different in this area. A best friend knows all about you, past, present and future. They are there for you no matter what, sometimes this is hard to find. My husband, my sister and my mom are my best friends, with a few girlfriends I've known for along time coming in next. Then there are the friends who enjoy spending time with and make you feel good. Some people are just more giving and generous then others, this doesn't make them better friends but it sometimes it gets us taken advantage of by people who need what we have to offere but aren't looking for a friend. I hope this helps, its a topic that you could on about forever. One suggestion if you dont have group of woman to spend time with, find one. Check out www.betasigmaphi.org Its an international womans organization that has chapters all over that you can join and immediately have a group of friends. I meet with my chapter one or two times a month and we can talk for hours, I am closer with some of the woman in the chapter then others, but know they are there if I need them. Contact me if you have more questions about this! :-) Have a good weekend!

Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

H.G.

answers from Minneapolis on

D.,
I'm in a similar situation to you. I am the type of person who when I make a friend I give it my all. And I've alot of times found others don't do the same. It's just the way we're made, I think. Some people don't devote themselves to friends the way others do. It hurts when you give and give and others don't give much back. I try to concentrate on knowing that I'm a good friend and very loyal and helpful but I try not to expect the same from everyone else to avoid getting my feelings hurt. Hope this makes sense & I'm not rambling too much!

Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

B.H.

answers from Minneapolis on

I grew up the same way as my dad is Mr.Anti social

I've learned people suck I've never to this day have I found a true friend that treated me as well as I treated her and did for me as I did for her.

There are aquaintances and friends.

Aquaintances are people you know and talk to, maybe hang out with but they're not good enough to be a friend they may come leave you as fast as they came into your life, you may not trust them, etc... Alot of aquaintances are like the woman you talk to at work, neighbors etc.

A friend a real friend sticks by you through thick and thin, would dodge a bullet for you, you can trust them with anything and would never turn their back on you or backstab you. Unfortunately in today's world this is nearly impossible to find.

I don't think people necessarily don't want to be your friend as much as people are just rude these days, inconsiderate and not taught the real values and morals of being a good person, a good friend and a good citizen. Alot of peole are just self centered.

For Updates and Special Promotions
Follow Us

Related Questions