What Is an "Easy" Toddler?

An easy toddler is one that listens to his parents and follows the rules. A non easy toddler is one that has an agenda to do what he/she wants and does not respond to redirection or discipline.

I think it has a lot to do with energy level. Some toddlers are happy in their strollers observing and allow mom to shop. Other toddlers are a mile a minute, won't sit still, run away from mom in a department store without ever looking back. A difficult toddler is hard to take places. All toddlers are testing their parents, need a ton of supervision, and are all therefore difficult. Some are more difficult than others. Sometimes I say mine was born with a bit of the devil in her. From the time she was a baby she would clench her fists and teeth, tense up, and make a face. I see now that she had this energy, even anxiety coming out of her. Everything we do is a struggle, everywhere we go is a nightmare. However, she is excellent at entertaining her self and very independent. So while she may be difficult to get out the door and go places, she is easy at home. My mother, who had 3 toddler grandchildren agree that I have my hands full compared to my sisters who's toddlers are a little more tame. It comes down to temperament.

I think the phrase "easy toddler" is an oxymoron! :-) No such thing! This isa mythical creature that only lives in fantasy land!

I would say an 'easy' toddler (teenager / husband etc) is one for whom 'standard' interventions work. They tend to follow 'typical' developmental milestones of tantrums, demanding behavior, desire for independence, impulse control etc. It's not that they don't do the same things as 'difficult' toddlers it's that they tend to be more developmentally predictable and therefore a bit more "easier" to guide with discipline, only because what it suggested by the experts tends to work if applied consistently and in the 'correct' manner.

I think good parenting can make a 'difficult' toddler easier and I think not good parenting can make an 'easy' toddler difficult. However, there are some toddlers for whom standard behavior modification just works. They just naturally sleep the amount of hours they are supposed to (or at least more than 5 per night). They respond to consistent redirection. Their melt-downs can be controlled with some basic actions by the parent (they still have melt-downs, they just don't last 4 hours. They still scream when they want a toy or candy, it just doesn't result in them holding their breath until they pass out or screaming until they vomit). Those are just a couple of examples - I could give you a gazillion. It's not that you won't have to face all the same things that every toddler (or any phase) goes through. It's that it will tend to fall within a 'typical' range, given that you are providing a loving, structured, nurturing, educational environment.

That's just my $0.02

There is no 'easy' toddler! LOL! Seriously, my girls are good as gold at other people's houses, but are screaming demons at home. People always compliment us on how well they behave and listen. If they could only see what goes on behind closed doors! HA!
I suppose I would say an "easy" toddler is one that doesn't have temper tantrums at the drop of a hat, mostly listens when told no, and isn't a wild child (climbing, jumping, throwing, hitting, biting) all the time.
Of course, all kids have their moments. :)
Count your blessings!

If you have to ask, I am guessing you have one great kiddo! That is wonderful and don't worry, he is going to push you sooner or later. They all do. But it sounds like you have done a great job as a parent so far. I can recommend a great series of books that go by age and will give you, as a first time mom, some background on what to expect each year. The books are short and easy to get through but a great resource.

The series are written by Louise Bates Ames
http://www.amazon.com/Louise-Bates-Ames/e/B001ITTGLQ/ref=...

Happy Holidays!
VillageMom
www.ittakesavillagedallas.com

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An easy toddler, is one you don't have! Toddlers aren't easy...none of them!! I

My daughter was the difficult toddler. My son is the easy toddler.

My daughter fought sleep every second. She's always been a little on the hyper side. It's difficult to keep her attention (at home). She's always been really clingy and needy. She's always thrown tantrums when she doesn't get what she wants. She has frequent meltdowns. She's mouthy. (she's 7 now, but started being mouthy at 3yrs old or so) She freaked starting school. (now she likes school most of the time) She's always been bossy... Especially with her friends. Can't stand to play alone EVER. She NEEDS someone to be right there all the time with her. Anxiety plagues her. (we have her scheduled to see a specialist)

My son has been on a sleep schedule since about 8mos old and functions well with it. He occasionally throws tantrums, but it's not frequent. He eats many more things than his picky sister ever has. He LOVES his daycare/preschool. Has tons of friends. Rarely has meltdowns. Generally goes with the flow. He's never been overly clingy or needy. He's always happy to play whether by himself or with others. He's laid back and mellow. Never fights going to bed for nap or night time.

Now... Both of my kids have giant, loving hearts. I can usually reason and calm my daughter down quickly... But she isn't responsive to everyone else like she is with me. She loves helping others. She always has the intention of being well behaved. So there are good things.

Even as infants though, I KNEW there were vast differences between my kids. My daughter would sleep for 20min-1hr and be awake for an hour and you better be entertaining her or walking around with her or she'll scream until you lose it. My son... Complete opposite.

EDIT TO ADD- If your kids are behaved for everyone else, you're doing something right.

Easy toddlers? I don't think they make that kind! The grass is always greener on the other side.

You'll know once you have another child...j/k! Everyone has always said my first was so 'easy going'. I'd have to say it didn't feel like that in the moment, especially when my first was very clingy and colicky the first 6 months! But once my 2nd came along...I got it :)

I would even get raves at the Pediatricians office about how well behaved my 1st was. They have "never seen" a baby act so well etc etc..I kept thinking you really don't know my son do you?? At 1 he was still up every 2 hrs, he had horrible separation anxiety from 9mths to 18 mths....But he was easy? Wow I must have been missing something......Then I had my 2nd....uh my first is an Angel compared to my second. My second literally walks in circles all day long doesn't sit still, is into everything, screams shouts, bites, very willful etc...Pretty much from what I gather a typical toddler. I just had an exceptional first child I guess. The eye opener for me was when I took my 2nd to his 1yr well baby visit. It was an insane visit, the kid was everywhere. We went through 2 sheets of the paper on the table (he was eating, ripping, walking, crawling etc so much he destroyed the paper overlay. When I tried to hold him, he just screamed and twisted I couldn't even get a word in edge wise. He even did a full blown tantrum on the office floor. I was so embarrassed. The nurse just looked at me and said that was normal and they were use to it! Wow what an eye opener......

I'm sure even in the grand scheme of things my 2nd is probably easier than others. I have to say Brenna M. is right on with her answer. When you come across a toddler that doesn't respond to normal intervention you go to bed at night thanking God you have an 'easy' toddler!!

I am thankful that my daughter is an "easy" child. She was blessed with an easygoing dispsotion and the ability to understand and communicate. I think that a lot of toddler tantrums are caused by thier inability to express what they mean.She also understands that actions have consequences and once I tell her that she is being bad she tries very hard to be a good girl so she does not have to lose a toy etc.

The only difficult aspect is dealing with some bad sleep habits and that is more the fault of my husband and I than her.

I love these answers, and this question. Although my 2 year old son can be very trying, I now see that I have a very easy child (mostly listens to me, communicates really well so I know what he wants, no big temper tantrums). I guess for everyone easy means something different, but I feel lucky now :)

easy toddlers are the ones you can give back to their parents when you are tired of them... ;)
R.

easy toddler??? let me know when you find one! my daughter is now well behaved and looks to satisfy all those that are watching her (8), but toddler years were hell, as most toddler years are

I have to laugh - I'm always being told what an easy toddler I have, and given some of what I've seen in other kids it is true. But I did NOT feel that way as I carried her screaming from the library on Saturday.

I think it may be about percentages of time that they spend in a certain state, and how easy it is to get them from having a breakdown or tantrum into cooperating.

I also think it might be a lot about perception. I see most of her "negative" behavior as predictable and even rational given the circumstances, and usually triggered by things like being tired and hungry. So I believe I have a good kid. Other parents might see it as "defiant" and label her as difficult. I also don't count problems as sleeping as being difficult, even though it certainly isn't easy on me!

I'd always heard how difficult it was to have a toddler in the house before I had my own kids, but I have to say I enjoyed those days immensely and never experienced what others call the "terrible twos" with either of them - I really just found them fascinating at that age - they were so different from each other temperament-wise (daughter, headstrong - son, laid back) . Their personalities really started to emerge at that age, along with increased language and motor skills. I found I could do so much more with them and enjoyed watching them master new concepts. Its hard to say if they were easy, or if I was just becoming more confident as a mom at that point, relaxing a little and able to enjoy them more!

The kind that gels with your own personality.

I think my toddler was SUPER easy... but many other would not agree. We're both adhd.