What If My 21 Month Daughter Has Been Touched Inappropriately

Growing up, touching or discussing the genitals was always forbidden. I may as well assumed there was nothing there.

My older daughter was never a toucher, but my 4 year old found everything long ago and has no shame.

When she is tired, she puts her hand right up her shirt and rubs her boob until she falls asleep. We tell her to get her hand out of her shirt and she laughs and sticks it right back up there as soon as we walk away. I mentioned to the doctor and she smiled and said, "it feels good". As well, she said you just have to teach them they do that in private and not in public.

I wouldn't worry unless there is a rash or fear of an individual when the diaper is coming off.

It is hard to live with other families, but you do have to have a certain amount of trust, or you shouldn't be there.

It is always ok to check with your pediatrician if you have concerns, but I agree with the moms on here that say this is totally normal behavior, for both boys and girls. My son threw huge tantrums over diaper changes, like I was torturing him. And he loves his peepee, he will tell you so on a regular basis even. :) And just be prepared, she might very well start to masturbate soon also. My sister who is quite a bit younger than me this did when she was 2-3 and it was quite bizarre to me as a 12 yr old, but now I know it's totally normal.

I would be very cautious questioning her or role playing with her. If you don't know what you are doing, you can put things into their heads that didn't actually happen. If she started role playing with you with her dolls, that would be one thing and worth carrying on the conversation. But my feeling is that this is not something you should initiate unless you are trained. I lived in California through several scandals involving preschools, and I recall that in many cases, the people questioning the children actually made them have memories that never happened. This is not something to do with no training. Please discuss this with your pediatrician before doing anything like this yourself.

It sounds like a normal discovery phase. As for not liking the diaper or being changed, this can be a normal phase too.

M.

My daughter is 17 months and there are days that I have to hold her down to change her diaper because she doesn't want to. I went through this with my son around the same age range too. Then once the diaper is off, they want to help down there with their hands, wiping, or putting the new diaper down there. I think its innocent and she is at the exploring stage and wants to check everything out. If there is swelling, redness, or discharge then that could be a sign of something else and you definately would want to get her to the ped immediately to be checked. If there is not then don't worry, she's just curious.

Mine is almost 2 and she does the exact same thing. When my husband changes her he gives her a wipe so she can 'help'; it makes a bit of a smeary mess, but it's better than poopy hands! Probably it's just the thrill of a new discovery; a part of her body she doesn't see/touch often, but like other moms have said, if there's redness, swelling, discharge, blood, or other signs that something's 'not right', there's no harm or shame in asking your pediatrician to look at her.

My daughter is 16 months and the minute her diaper is off, she has her hands there. I think it is a natural occurance, and unless you see signs of trauma (blood in the diaper, etc..) I would not worry...

My kids have all gone through this....I have 5 kids... my youngest is going through this now. They are just going through a discovery phase. I wouldn't worry about it.

I don't have girls, just boys and my older son was started on potty training at 15 months with absolutely no more diapers, so maybe she is ready to start being potty trained and this is her way of telling you she is done with diapers! Don't let common practice deter you from trying potty training at this young of an age...my son did great with it (besides...at this age, it is more about training yourself to take them than the other way around anyway...now at 26 months, he now tells me when he has to go). Just didn't see that suggestion listed below, so thought I would post! If you want suggestions on ideas of how to start potty training, I have posted several things about that which worked great for me as a SAHM too!

Unless you have other reasons to believe they were molested, the behavior sounds normal to me. Children usually find their genitals some time after their first birthdays (boys sometimes earlier) and masturbation is common and normal. I was advised by my pediatrician to expect this and have received several handouts about toddler development that mention this.
Since it also coincides with your child getting more independent and getting ready to potty train...they are notorious diaper undressers - we actually have a whole bunch of very funny stories associated with this in our family and circle of friends.
I would suggest that you speak to your pediatrician (the 2 year checkup is coming soon anyways) and get yourself a good book on early childhood development or read some internet articles on toddlers and masturbation/sexual development.
Good luck.

My opinion is that this is normal behavior. When my daughter was 2 she wanted to be naked all the time. It sounds very normal to me but if you are concerned maybe you could call the nurse at the pediatrician's office for a phone consult since you can't get there during the week. Good luck.

I understand your concern and would see the pediatrician somehow, to put my mind at ease or deal with the problem if there is one.
My suspicion is that this is normal. My 3yo is running around half naked because he loves to be naked and he "handles" himself regularly. My daughter is 12 so it's hard to remember back that far (lol). I do remember they all went through a phase of not wanting to change diapers. After all for them it must seem pretty boring and unnecessary.
Do you see irritation or does her diaper area look red? Even that could just be from not wanting to change the diaper and letting it sit longer, The pediatrician is more likely to be able to tell if there is a problem.

I have two little girls. I'm really the only one that changes/baths them and if someone else does I'm right there. Not because I'm worried, it just works out that way. That being said, she is VERY into her vagina. She recently started wearing panites and she likes them off. She is constantly touching herself. Of course I don't want her walking around with her hand in her pants so I just distract her.

I don't think your daughter is being inappropriately touched just becasue she touches herself. I think some kids just do it more than others. If you are really worried about it make sure your right there. If someone else changes her, be in the room. If someone else baths her check on them.

Keep an eye on things but don't jump to conclusions. Why don't you call your pediatricians office and talk to the nurse. Maybe this would help put your mind at ease.

I would try to see your pediatrician somehow, or at least call them and discuss your worries. If your mom's intuition is telling you something is wrong then you should go with that feeling.

Lots of kids do go through phases like your daughter is with touching themselves and not wanting diaper changes.

I would definitely talk to your pediatrician and keep a very close eye on things. I'm very sorry you have to go through this worry and hope it all works out to be nothing.