My son is 5. Sleep has always been a challenge for us. It took us a long time to understand at least some of his needs and patterns, one of which is that the later he goes to sleep the earlier he's likely to wake up (we're talking like if he goes to bed after about 8pm he would wake up at 4:30 or 5am) and then we go down an overtired road that stinks for all of us.
We keep waiting for this pattern to change; our pediatrician (who has a subspecialty in sleep issues) says it should, but there's no telling when. She says we just need to mostly stick with what works, and occasionally try it out by letting him stay up late for special occasions and some day he will start to sleep later to compensate for the later bedtime. Hasn't happened yet! :)
We 95% stick with a bedtime routine that consists of warm bath, books, songs, "quiet minute" where we sit with him for 2-3 minutes in silence with lights off, then kiss, and out of the room. This all occurs between 7 and 7:30pm and he sleeps till 6, maybe 6:30 this way. He generally falls asleep easily at this time, but on those rare occasions when he takes longer to fall asleep, I know we're in for an early wake up and a cranky next day! Because of this, I have a hard time being flexible with his bedtime because he is so easily stimulated that if I just let him continue playing downstairs till he started yawning or something, he'd be up till midnight and wake up at 5!
So the question I'm getting at is, what does your child this age do when he/she is in bed but not sleepy enough to fall asleep yet? My son just wants me to stay with him until he's sleepy and I feel guilty not doing so, like I'm just sticking with an arbitrary schedule instead of following his cues. Which IS what I'm doing, but for good, proven reasons!
He is reading, but not at a level where he can just read a book for fun. He has a book light clipped to his bed (his regular lamp is too stimulating) that he uses to look at books and read simple ones. I tell him he can sing lullabys to his favorite stuffed moose or tell him stories. Any other thoughts?
Thanks in advance!
I lay with my dd until she nods off. We talk a little (which is nice because it's the only time she tells me everything)...We've been doing that since she was a toddler and she's 10 now. Yes it's time consuming, but I enjoy the time with her. I only have one though...it would be hard if I had more.
With my two eldest girls (5 and 6): we get jamies on, read a book, brush teeth, give good night kisses and hugs, and then they pick out music to fall asleep to (they take turns picking). We started the music a few years back when I tired of staying in their room until they fell asleep. I gave them a boom box for their room and burnt them a case full of mixed CDs, and which they have full autonomy over. They lay in bed listening to music until they drift off to sleep. We also keep a small lamp next to their beds because they are scared of the dark. Music and light...it comforts mine to sleep.
Make sure he gets a lot of activity w/you during the day (a little walk, bike
riding, playing in the backyard, drop by a park for 30 mins etc.).
Be sure to have the bedtime routine (potty, brush teeth etc.).
Don't put him to bed too early. How about 8pm?
Put a nightlight in his room behind a dresser possibly.
Try a Dreamlight pillow. Sometimes this soothes them.
Be sure he's not too hot or cold in his pj's.
Don't put him to bed if he's not sleepy yet. With ours, a heavy active
schedule helps to make him sleepy & I don't put him to bed BEFORE I
know he's tired esp if he's had a nap that day. I adjust sleep time accordingly (drives my husb batty but oh well) by 15 mins or 30 mins etc
Sometimes the thinking of letting them stay up super late (midnight) usually does not ever guarantee a later waking time due to their bodies
and bio-rhythms. They still need a decent sleep time & activity level.
My 6 year old has books she keeps in bed under her pillow with a flashlight. She's been doing this since she was 4, so even if she couldn't read it, she could look at the pictures and make up her own story.
Our routine is that after brushing teeth and going potty, she picks either her dad or me to read her a book and then we put her to bed. Her bedtime is between 7:30 and 7:45, if that helps.
My dad used to allow us to have one hour of lights on in our room after bedtime. We could use that it e to either read, write, or color.
It worked great for us! :)
My daughter will just sing or chat with her stuffed animals until she falls asleep. She also listens to music. Some nights she falls right to sllep other nights I can hear her talking for a while or "reading" her books.
My 5 year old reads 3 books before bed every night, usually science books. She is weird.
I use to have a strict bedtime routine, but I've thrown that out. We shower if dirty, get dressed, do our teeth, potty, and then read a book. It's rarely in any habitual order. We've mostly stopped reading to our 5 year old. She usually prefers to just read to herself.
With baby, I change diaper, sleep sack her, read a quick cloth book, and then let her nurse. I then put on her noise machine and put her in bed. She usually just rolls over and puts her thumb in her mouth. Tonight she babbled to herself for about 10 minutes. She also got a bath tonight, but I only give her a bath twice a week (my oldest got one every night!)
My middle child can sleep anywhere and through anything, just as long as he has his stuffed animal friend. He is usually asleep within minutes of hitting the pillow. He likes his sleep, and always has. In fact, one of my favorite memories is of him giving my mom his sleep sack at 9 or 10 months old because he wanted a nap!
I don't have any suggestions as to what you can tell your son when he can't just fall asleep. Does he have any ideas?
Was never an issue with our son at that age. He was usually able to drop off to sleep fairly quickly. Daughter, she was reading by her 4th birthday, and like me, loves to lie in bed at night with a book and her lamp on. We would allow her to do this if she asked nicely. Usually for no more than 10 minutes.
These days (on school nights) I look and see where she is in her book. If she is one page from the end of the chapter, I will give her a "10 minutes" warning. If she is in the middle of a chapter, I'll tell her "until the end of the chapter." She has always been very good about turning her light out at the appropriate time and going to sleep after.
Perhaps, if he is not able to fall asleep right away, rather than something to occupy him in bed, you might figure out a way to physically tire him out more during the daytime hours? That always seemed to work whenever I changed bedtime hours... if they weren't tired, then the next day, they spent a lot of time running around, outdoors if possible.
