My cousin is one of those girls that is the preppy gotta have all named brand things kind of girl. Her father is gay and her mother lives in MD. Since her father is gay he's always lavished her with named brand things and taught her how to stick her nose up at the lesser things in life. I never had that pleasure and even if I had I wouldn't have taken it. Anyway my mom told me something interesting and I wanted to know what you moms though about this. Turns out my cousin hates red heads. I don't know the reason but my mom told me that my cousin told her that if she had red headed kids she would dye their hair. My thought is she thinks of red heads like the red headed step children (As the term is said) Our family has the gene for red heads, our grandpa was born with red hair and my two boys have a slight red tent to their hair. Please tell me what you think. I just wanted to entertain this and see what I got.
Thanks for all your answers lol. Thanks for entertaining my question. :)
You say she is a "girl". How old? Teens and tweens make all kinds of proclamations, as they believe they "know everything" at that age. Let it go and she's likely grow out of it.
Now, please drop the "since he's gay" generalizations.... why is this better than a "red head's are bad" generalization?
Ok when I read this I thought that maybe her father was having guilt (say mom and him split us because he is gay or he feels like she will have a harder life due to him being gay) issues and that is why he was lavishing her with gifts. The sentance where you say "Because he is gay he...teaches her to stick her nose up at lesser things." Maybe you meant that as a seperate statement, that that is just the way he is. Not that because he is gay thats why he is a snob. Because if you think gay=being a snob, or any certain way really, then you are showing just as much prejudice against gays as she is against redheads.
Now, I actually know a few people who dont think red hair is attractive, my husband prefers brunettes over blondes. I dont think there is a problem with that. I like darker hair fellas myself. There is a difference between that and putting an entire group of people in one category. I think that would be how I explained that to her. Something along the lines of, Judging people based soley on their looks is a great way to miss out on knowing some awesome people.
Since her father is gay he's always lavished her with brand named things and stick their noses up at the lesser things in life? Really? Do you think all gays do this? That's an amazing generalization.
I know women who are clothes horses and there is nothing gay about them or anyone in their families. When first graders talk about name brands I haven't even heard of, I wonder what kind of girls they will grow up to be. I went into a store one time and a mom and two of her teens were trying to buy a boatload of clothes, and mom pulled out credit card after credit card trying to find one that wasn't at its credit limit. All I could think was "Poor Dad!". He works hard and they just spend, spend, spend.
I don't actually look at buying something that is MORE expensive just because it is a brand name as a particular pleasure, A., and I would like to tell you that you shouldn't either. And it really seems to me that you look down on your cousin's father because he is gay as much as your cousin looks down on "lesser things in life". I am trying to figure out if you think it's also her father's "fault" as a gay man that she doesn't like redheads.
Your cousin just sounds like a spoiled brat who doesn't have enough to think about that matters, and her father sounds like a father who has doted on her to try to give her what he likes - "the best" - and has done a poor job of teaching her what is important in life. Where is her mother in all of this? Who has taught her respect and responsibility?
Your cousin's attitude about what she would do if she had red-headed children just sounds bizarre. I don't know who really took care of this kid during her formative years, but I doubt that they taught her much about the golden rule, and that's a shame. I sure hope she doesn't have red-headed children.
At any rate, perhaps you should think twice about the idea that someone would raise up a child this way because they are gay. It is because they are irresponsible parents. And there is plenty of that kind of parenting going around without sexual orientation playing a part in that.
She'll change her mind when her firstborn has red hair. You know how God humbles us sometimes. If name brands equal good quality and you are able to afford it ~ go ahead. If you are trying to prove something to others, you still have a lot to learn. When I saw women scrambling over Coach bags this Christmas during a sale, I couldn't believe my eyes. I think I may have been quick to judge until I learned that the bags have a lifetime guarantee. If that is true, it may be worth the high price. If you are trying to prove to others your worth, then it's not good. When I was in middle school it was Nike, Gloria Vanderbuilt jeans, etc. I loved the way they looked, but wanted to fit in too. I suffered from an inferiority complex for sure.
Hmmm -I'm quite confused by a few things. First of all, your cousin's father being gay has NOTHING to do with him being a snob. Most of the snobbiest people I've known are heterosexual. Just like the rest of us -gay people come from all walks of life -some are brand snobs and many are not. However, I can just about promise you -if you HAD been raised that way, you most likely would be that way! Sounds like you have some jealousy there.
As far as your cousin hating redheads -if she dislikes them because of that saying, that's stupid. Maybe she just doesn't like the way they look. Who knows? What does her dislike of redheads and her gay father have to do with each other? It basically sounds like you have it in for your cousin, that you're somewhat jealous of her and that you and your mom must have just had some interaction with her and have been gossiping about how awful she is after the fact.
Is this for real? If so, then you might want to rewrite this. There are two issues: you have an issue with a gay father and an issue with red heds. I will go with the gay father issue first: he sounds like a father much like all the parents I know around my area who like to give their children what they can and it has nothing to do with being gay it has to do with loving the heck out of their child.
2) Red head issue: what does that have to do with the first issue. So this person doesn't like red heads...well, I will not invite her over. I am the mother of a red head and my hair was kissed in red til it decided to go gray (of course now it is tinged in red by a box sometimes). Who are the red headed step children you are talking about? That might be issue #3.
I think you have better things to worry about than your snooty cousin and her silly red hair phobia.
Once she has children, all those silly notions will go right out the window.
LBC
I had red hair as a kid and now that I am older I dye it back to that color. I get tons of compliments on it...
I agree with the previous poster that says being gay does not equal being a snob. Please revisit your view on that one : ) Many people where I live lavish their kids with name brand stuff and they are not gay.
I think your cousin has a rude awakening in her future!
It sounds to me like:
•People are making excuses for why she is a brat
•She would have fit right in in 1944 Germany.
How very odd.
We should be separated from society due to our extreme awesomeness, it's the cross we bear for being genetically superior. She *should* be afraid...very afraid... a redheaded child would see right through her and put her in her place as soon as that child was able to articulate the thought.
Strangely enough, my ex mother-in-law has issues with redheads as well -- and her own brother had red hair. She has said on more than one occasion that she hates red hair and was glad her kids didn't inherit that family trait. One of the weirdest things I've ever heard. Now I know she's not the only one.
Sounds like your cousin is extremely young and will grow up.
I always hoped for dark haired children, or maybe even a little curly topped red head...ALL four of my kids came out blondies :) I didn't love them any less before their hair started to darken, they're my KIDS, I can't help loving them! A lot of times, when children arrive, they are exactly what we didn't know we wanted
As far as the genetics of red hair go, it can be really mystifying...
My mother had red hair and my dad had black hair.... 3 of the 4 kids had red hair!
Now... I have red hair, and my hubby has black hair....
3 of my 4 kids have brownish-black hair, and only one is reddish! Hers wasn't really red when she was born, but had reddish highlights... as she got older, it got redder.
And...hopefully, if she DOES have kids with red hair, she will love them for what they are. As far as her being so snobbish, well.....I'm sure she will get that wake-up call some time....
sounds like a sad and pathetic life. I wouldn't waste my time thinking about it or stressing over it.
your cousin is a going to have a wake-up call one day...it won't be pretty when reality hits her in the face.
It sounds like her dad is a snob, period. My stepkids' mom is, like somehow having a Coach handbag makes her a better person.
I think that anybody who can't accept her own children has a lot more wrong her than liking name brand items. My DD has copper hair in the sunlight (I have red highlights and my BIL has red hair). I would never dye (or straighten) a young child's hair. If she's that superficial, maybe she needs to find someone with really strong genes - for example, if my cousin marries a non-Korean girl, his genes are dominant and all their kids are likely to look like him.
Your cousin sounds spoiled and like she's looking for artificial, outside things to make herself feel better. People who are that superficial are usually insecure. I hope she gets over it before she has kids, or never has kids.
I wouldn't worry too much about it unless she was messing with my kids due to their hair or something else she didn't like. If she's not someone who is in your/their daily life, just ignore her.
