What Do You Think? - Miami,FL

I've always thought that one of the advantages of being a teacher is having the ability to spend the summers with ones' children. As a matter of fact, I've considered the profession on that basis alone. You're their mother, I can't see how caring for them for the summer will wear you out (unless there is another, unmentioned, factor?). I am a stay-at-home mother who chooses to home-school her children and am also a full-time college student, so I suppose, for me, the answer is obvious. But to each her own. :)

This is a great time for some family time and you can always put the kids in daycare for 2 days a week if need be. I am raising a 10 month and 4yr and am a SAHM for the past 4yrs. There are days i sooo wish someone could take the girls for a bit and then they do something that melts my heart.
Best thing i found is to join a playgroup: i get out of the house, girls have a blast, and have some great friends.

How about if you put them in daycare part time? Then you have the best of both worlds. You can get stuff done, and have time to spend with them too.

I will be the one to say it. You are being selfish for putting your kids in daycare while you run errends or clean the house. If you (and hubby) did not want to spend time with your children, why did you have them? Parents, everyday, clean thier homes and run errands with kids in tow. If you feel you need a break, a day a week is MORE than enough! Especially at the age your children are! This is the time they need supportive adults, but if you are fine with someone else raising your kids--go for it.

I have been both a SAHM and a Working Mom--and I regret everyday that I had to work and not spend with my kids...you miss sooooo much! ESPECIALLY at this age!!

You have summers off..spend them with people who matter most--and if that is yourself and not your kids, I feel pity for you. Putting them in daycare every so often for a breather is one thing...a whole month when you can care and treasure them is a whole nother story!

And as a Teacher and Parent myself, if you feel you can not take care TWO kids that YOU gave birth to for a summer, then you are in the wrong profession.

Enjoy your kids. If you're a teacher, I think you can handle a couple kids without them wearing you out. They grow up so fast and summers are so much fun. I wouldn't have them in daycare at all in the summer. You should all get a break from your routines and enjoy just being together.

I like your plan. Take a couple of weeks to get our house in order and get caught up and then spend some time having nothing but FUN with them!

I'll just tell you a quick story, not to make you feel bad, but to drive home my point. Feel free to share with your hubby. I am a SAHM of my two kids, now 2 and 4. In December, I was diagnosed with breast cancer (kids were 18 months and 3 at the time). I had a double mastectomy in January and was unable to pick up my kids for 2 months. Then, I started chemo. Since all of this started, I have had to spend large amounts of time away from my kids because I simply was not able to care for them. My son is still in full time daycare because I don't have the energy to keep up with a 2 year old boy every day with the fatigue from the chemo. I have 2 treatments left, but unfortunately, this will take up the majority of the summer, so I won't have the opportunity to take the kids on vacation or even go to the pool or the park or the zoo because I'm not able to be out in the sun or around large groups of people. Feeling like I'm a prisoner in my own home unable to care for my two kids has been the hardest part of this whole thing. If you have the opportunity to spend some time with your kids this summer, I say take it!! Yes, it will be tiring...especially if you're not used to spending all day every day with 2 toddlers (not sure what age group you teach). But, you can ALL take naps every day and get refreshed. Don't think twice about this. Take this time and spend it with your kids. You won't regret it. When it is all said and done, this cancer will take a year from my life (all of 2010....I still have further surgeries to face this Fall) that I can't get back. I would give anything to spend the summer with my kids playing carefree and playing till we drop! We do lots of fun things at home when we can, but I truly wish it could be different, so spend every minute you can with your babies. Hope you have a great summer!

At the age of 3 and 1 the children need to be with their mother not strangers. Day care originally was intended for older children when they got out of school for an hour or two until the parents could pick them up. Then it became a place for people to drop off the younger children because they are working or just plain don't want the responsibility of taking care of them. You for sure should keep them this summer and spend time with them. They are only little once and later you will look back and say: (Oh, I wish I had spent more time with them. I missed out on so much)...My friends daughter calls her day care teacher Moma and her Mom hey lady and she is only four years old. So sad. You have to put them there when you are working when you are not working they should be with you...

I know here, school starts the 3rd week of August. So, if you have them in daycare the remainder of June, plus 2 weeks before school starts .. I mean, they will really only be home with you for about a month. I'd say to keep them out for a month! Isn't that one benefit of being a teacher? To be home during the summer with your kiddos? I would loooove if I had that opportunity and my daughter would be home with me. I say stick with your original plan.

I think you can never go back and gain time you lost with your little ones. NEVER in my life have I ever heard a mother say, "I wish I would have dropped my kids off at daycare more often."

I have four children. I home-school three of them and I watch a couple of kids on top of it. I never drop them off at daycare. I aways get all my errands done and my house is clean and neat. I am sure you can handle it for a couple of months.

Wow to the moms that beat you up for putting the kids in daycare at the end of the year! Sheesh. Ignore them and give yourself a break. Sure kids are only young once, but I've never bought into the philosophy that means we have to spend every single free second with them. And if you wanted to put the kids in over the summer, that would be your perogative too.

Summers past (I'm a teacher too) I have sent my daughter 2 days/week because she loves going and being with her friends, and I like having a few days to myself (I figured out last summer that I got six days, so it's not like I missed zillions of critical milestones for my kid). This summer we're pulling her because she's starting kindergarten in the fall and we'd like her to have a little transition time.

But the important thing is that I wanted to send her a couple days. You don't want to. I think you'll be tired, but if it's worth it to you, do it. But don't listen to all those moms who are being obnoxious about spending every waking moment with your kids. I'm sure you're a great mom, you love them, they love you. Have a great summer.

I mean no offense by this, this is purely my opinion, and who cares what I think!!

It is undoubtedly EASIER to run errands without kids to cart around with you, and yes, it's loads EASIER to clean your house without kids going behind you messing up what you've just cleaned. But I wouldn't trade ease for being with my son for anything. Personally, I couldn't imagine sending my son to daycare when I'm home and could have him with me. To me, there's just something not quite right about that. Let me rephrase that. It wouldn't feel right to me. I want my son with me. I don't like being away from him when I HAVE to... I certainly don't want to be away from him when I don't have to. These days go by so painfully fast. I just want to relish them. The house isn't going anywhere.

I don't mean to be condescending. I know we all have different feelings about this, and it doesn't make us right or wrong. To each his own.

OMG!! I can't believe your husband would suggest that! Please don't do it! Your children are only little for a VERY short time and you need to be with them and interact with them all you can to establish their sense of security and confidence. I understand that you have to work, many moms do, but unlike most moms, you have an opportunity to be with them in the summer. I'm a teacher too and my kids are grown now. How I miss those summer days with our kids when they were little! I promise you'll REGRET it later on, or probably not so later, if you leave them in day care for the summer. Do what is absolutely necessary in your housework, but spend some good quality time with your children this summer. Does your husband interact with the kids when he's home? Good luck, I know you'll do what's best for your little ones.

If I were you, I'd take June to get your work/errands done, then spend the rest of the summer ENJOYING the kids! Why on Earth pay for child care when you're there?

You'll be fine. Enjoy your time with your kids. If you need a break, how about putting them in daycare just one or two part time days a week? In my opinion, your kids are only kids once and I think you should soak up just about every minute that you can with them, with taking time for yourself of course! :)

Who is raising your children? You teach other people's kids, and then leave the raising of yours to someone else? Seems goofy to me.
Best, K

Your husband believes that you will wear yourself out and he feels that you should leave them in daycare the whole summer. May I ask how much time your husband spends with these precious children on a weekly basis? How much quality one-on-one time does he spend with them individually on the weekend? If he's like most fathers who work M-F, I'm betting that the weekends are consumed with "things to do" and he's probably not spending all that much time with them and now you are off from work for the whole summer. I have 3 children and I am home full time all year long so my 3 are home with me for the whole summer (their ages are 10, 7 1/2 and 3 1/2). Is it challenging? Yes. Frustrating that I cannot get a lot done because all 3 of them are getting on each others nerves (including mine)? Yes. But put them in daycare, the hands of strangers is NOT an option for me. And it shouldn't be for you either. These are your children. Your babies! Yes, I'd love for my house to be cleaner (neater) and it sure would be nice to start and finish a project within a reasonable time, and run errands without it feeling like a field trip....but these are children. They will grow up and one day be able to go out and be independent and this time will be lost forever. I'm sorry if this sounds harsh, but your husband sounds selfish to me. He sounds thoughtless to suggest that your children will "wear" you out. Isn't that what we sign up for when we become parents? Do you believe your children would prefer to spend time with strangers in daycare or spend time with their mommy? Please consider your priorities and think about this seriously: If you had one last day on this earth, would you prefer to spend it with your children or cleaning the house and running errands?

I am with you on this one. I work full time and LOVE spending time with my daughter. There is NO question in my mind whatsoever that I would take her out of daycare and spend every minute with her, if I had the summer off.

My husband would suggest exactly the same as yours, because he find spending time with our daughter one on one EXHAUSTING. There are many moms who feel the same... but some like me don't!
I think it's because I really don't get to spend a lot of time with her while I work (really only a couple of hours each day). Not everyone feels the same about spending time with kids, some enjoy it more, some less.

If you think you will have a good time, I say go with your initial plan and enjoy the summer!
Good luck.

Do you have to pay for the care anyways? If you have to pay either way have the best of both...keep them home with you, but two mornings or days a week send them to daycare and have a bit of time for yourself.

I say this as a SAHM who barely survives the summer because there is no Mothers Day Out program from June through August. I don't have family that can help me if I need to go to the doctor or anything so I have had eye exams while holding a baby and telling my son to sit on his spot and play with his toys. Or has to go to the doctor's office sick as a dog with a double stroller strapping both kids in so I could get an antibiotic for my sinus infection/tonsillitis.

Enjoy the best of both...then you can go back to work having spent time with your kids and have a bit of a break.

I don't understand why your husband prefers the kids to be in daycare than at home with you? Have you stressed out before when they were in your care and he doesn't want that to happen again?
Your plan sounds much better, although I would just leave them at home starting now but if the choice is two weeks of daycare vs the whole summer then 2 weeks is better and then at home with you. I'm siding with you on this one.
If your husband works outside the home all day, what is it to him that you spend time with the kids during the day? I'm not criticizing him, I'm sure he is a great father and husband I just don't get his point of view.
Have a great summer whatever you decide,

Oh jeez! Don’t listen to those that say you’re being selfish! I like Jane M's answer.

I swear all you want is to drop your kids off so you can get the house clean and run errands. Having a clean house helps with Mom’s sanity! That’s totally fine and not a crime! Why spend the end of each day exhausted?

I have Mom friends that drop their kids off everyday at daycare because they are meeting friends for coffee, getting their nails done, meeting friends for lunch, have emails to catch up on or need to go shopping to get the most expensive new jeans on the market. You get my drift.

Do what YOU need to do to be a happy Mom.

Have a great summer! You sound like a wonderful person!!!!!!

I completely understand your feeling of guilt!!! However, the kids probably do have a lot of fun at school and you don't want to burn yourself out either! Why don't you put them in part time? 2 or 3 days a week. So you have 2 or 3 days of personal time and to be able to do things throughout the summer you need to catch up on. This way you are getting the best of both worlds and so are the kids because they are not trapped at home all day every day of the week (even though I am sure you will be doing things with them). Also, you don't want them to get too far out of their routine. If they do, it could bite you in the - - - when you start school again in the fall.

I would break it up. I would perhaps keep them in daycare for two or three days a week or half days or something like that for the summer.

It is supposed to be a refreshing time for you and while I know you love your kids. It is nice to have options. Perhaps playing it by ear would be the best order of the day. It takes time to get a rhythm going with the kids, house, shopping, and cleaning things that need to go on while you are home. You are really blessed to have such options. Either way let hubby know how you are feeling and what you are thinking. He just wants you to be refreshed and not exhausted. Very nice.

I think your plan sounds terrific! I think your husband's statement about wearing yourself out is a selfish one - he's probaby more concerned about you being too tired for him. Sorry if that sounds mean, I'm drawing from how I would take that comment from my husband ;-)

Giving yourself that break to get some things done is smart, as well as getting them back in daycare a couple of weeks before you go back to work - sounds like the best of both worlds to me!

B.,

I think you should spend time with your children and if you need day care during the summer ask your daycare provider if they would be open to drop in days as needed. Maybe your husband wants to take you to lunch a few times over your break!

Blessings.....

Just wanted to let you know, that even though you make a choice it's awesome when you spend time with your little ones, it goes fast.

Hello!!

I know your feeling. Here's my take.

Put them in daycare for half days...you DESERVE the time to yourself AND this will help keep your children in some sort of a schedule and routine with daycare and not freak out when the go back in August or September.

During the time you have them in daycare - run your errands and take care of the house or better yet - do things for you - manicures and pedicures.

When you pick the kids up in the afternoon - it's THEIR time - then you don't have to worry about errands or cleaning the house - you can focus on them and them only - how's that for a compromise?

Take care!!

Cheryl

You could send them to daycare for half the time they spend there during the school year. That way you get the time you need for chores, errands, a pedi/manicure, whatever, and you get to spend more time with them too.
Anyway, enjoy your vacation and enjoy your children. And thanks for keeping our children the rest of the year!

I agree with you I would give them a break from daycare. I am home full time so my perspective might be slightly different then your husband.
Yes you will be tired but its a good tired. Your kids need to bond with you. They will need the time with you.
Yes your house will be sloppy. Mine house is not as neat most days as I would like it but I love being there with my kids.
Was you MIL home with him when he was growing up? If your able to afford it why not have them stay home with you.
It is nice that he is concerned about you being tired .

Well I think that the question remains as to whether or not you still have to pay for it? If you're paid through June, then probably go ahead and take them most days...if you're paid through the whole summer regardless, I wouldn't leave them in there for the next two weeks straight. A few days sure, I'm all about cleaning and running errands without kids, but if you're losing money anyway, keep them with you as much as possible. I like the idea of sending them if you need to get some stuff done, if they're bored, if you need a break, etc. But I do agree that if you have the opportunity to be with them for the majority of the summer, take advantage of it! There are so many fun things to do with kids that age, the pool alone is a great adventure, you should go for it!

Although I am fortunate enough to be a SAHM now, when my daughter was born I was a high school teacher. I took her out of daycare for the two summers when I was still working. It was always my desire to stay home with her, and this was one way I was able to work and still be home with her for part of the year. Now we have two kids and one on the way so I am home full time. If you want to keep your kids out of daycare for the summer, I think you should do it. You will never regret spending extra time with them! They are little for SUCH a short time. Good luck with whatever you decide.

Spend as much time with them as you can. Tell your husband the money you save, can be used for (something for you! haha). Separation is good, so mix it up. This time is precious.

First of all, give your husband a HUGE hug and a kiss, what a guy!!!!

OK, obvious option but let me put it out there....do they offer parttime child care, maybe 2 days a week they go and 3 days a week home with you?

Is there a neighborhood teenager off for the summer who would be interested in babysitting maybe 1 or 2 half days a week for you just to give you a break? I think you'll be fine caring for the kids if you choose to go that route, but after a full year with your school kids you deserve a break too.

Good luck!
K.

First of all be glad that you have a husband that would suggest leaving them in daycare so you don't wear yourself out. Many, many husbands would leave their wives no choice but to watch the kids if they are home anyway. That being said, do what feels right to you. If you want to have that quality time with them then take it. Summer's are always a great time to have with the kids when outdoor activities are plentiful keeping everyone happy and wearing the kids out! :)

Just my thoughts... also as an educator who has the summers off...

I have my son go to daycare 2 days/week in the summer for two reasons. First, it keeps him in a routine and insures that the daycare provider is still someone familiar rather than starting "over" in September.

Second, I find myself more productive with respect to housecleaning, errands, cooking and grocery shopping when I can just do it- not working around naps, activities, etc. On his two days, I do all the "stuff" and the other five days are family time and activities!

Whatever you decide, enjoy your summer!