How did/are you teaching your children how to react when another child hits them (un-provoked)? Are/did you teach them to automatically hit back? To hit back, then tell someone? To tell someone? Or maybe to just run away?
Just wondering what everyone else is doing. My 3 year old has been hit (un-provoked) several times and we're deciding on how we'd like to teach her to respond.
Thanks!
D.
Thanks so much for everyones feedback. I respect all points of view and rather enjoyed considering each one.
We've decided to continue our path of teaching her to yell (at the top of her lungs) to "Stop" then find an adult. If her teacher or another adult is not nearby or doesn't/can't respond and the hitting continues then she is to defend herself in whatever way she can. Including to hit back. With kids so often made scapegoats by bullies and some kidnapped by un-thinkable humans, I want her to be able to fight back if she has to (last resort) at any age.
D.-
Considring her age I would definitely advise her to tell someone. The "hitter's" parent needs to know about it so that they can help correct their child's behavior.
Hope that helped some,
N.
My daughter has been in the same situation. We had her tell the child quite firmly to STOP hitting her so that the adults around her will be alerted to the situation. She is then to remove herself from the situation. But if it happens again, she defends herself. She knows it is not OK to hit first or even second. But if she has already alerted the adults and moved away, and she is continuing to be hit, then obviously the adult that is supposed to be watching isn't doing a very good job of it.
We teach our kids to tell the hitter in a very loud voice "stop hitting me!" It gives them the chance to stand up for themselves by using their words, and also will alert the teacher or other adult that there is a problem. I have timid daughters and we have them practice several times at home first. That way they know exactly how loud their voice has to be, and feel comfortable with saying something to defend themselves.
we tell our 4 yr old daughter to DEFEND herself!
She knows not to ever hit other children. BUT mommy and teachers are not always going to be close by to Hear about the hitting from another child.
Nothing wrong with a child learning at an early age how to deal with bullys or aggressive children. She knows not to hit and to respect children younger than her.
It's not in her nature to be mean or even hit back after being hit, but we let her know what it means to DEFEND herself and all that it entails.
Hitting never solves the issue and will get the child suspended when they are older (no matter who started it as it is zero tolerance). I taught my children to say 'stop hitting me' and to tell a responsible adult. It is not tattling when it is for your protection. I would also speak with the teacher and the director since this is a repetitive thing. Good luck!
I would never encourage a child, especially one as young as 3, to hit back. I would tell your child to inform a teacher or other adult, and to then find another activity away from the hitter. I always talk to my daughter about how we don't hit our friends, or anyone for that matter.
I would never recommend telling a child of that age to hit back. They should look for an adult and tell them when another child hurts them intentionally. She needs to understand that 2 wrongs don't make a right and that hitting is never right, even if she was hit first.
Is your daughter being hit by the same child each time? If so, and she is in daycare, I would talk to her teacher about the situation. If it's in a different setting, I would try to keep my daughter separated from the other child, or speak directly to the other mom in a calm manner. In the meantime, I would definitely teach your daughter to go to the nearest teacher or trusted adult to "tell" about the hitting. It's hard at this age, because you don't want to teach your daughter to be a "tattle tale", but she definitely has the right to play without being hit by another child. As she gets older, you can teach her other methods of standing up for herself, especially when there is not a trusted adult nearby.
Hope the hitting ends quickly!
