What Do You like About Being a SAHM?

SAHing was not for me. I felt out of control, out of money, and out of touch! My patience grew thin, and I did not show my best side to my children. However, I did love taking them to my mothers' groups and music groups. :)

You know, I just really LIKE my kids, that's really the main reason I stayed home initially, I also really like being HOME.

Now my kids are 18, 16, 14, everybody is happy, healthy, well adjusted, clearly this is what works for us, so why change it?

If I didn't LIKE it, I wouldn't DO it, I see absolutely NOTHING wrong with moms working because they WANT to, not just because they HAVE to.

There is no right or wrong, there's only different choices. I'm grateful I had my choice.

:)

I work PT (because I want to) so I'm both a WM and a SAHM. I see what you're saying and yadda yadda yadda.....

But I can't help but see this question as a SLAM to working mothers.

I mean, yippee for you, you're living YOUR nirvana, but many, many moms work. Whether it's because they need to or because they want to--they work.

Look, the conflict only happens when a mom who WANTS to be at home and HAS to work to make ends meet. Then it's not a choice. It might over time breed resentment, disappointment, discontent, etc.

In those cases, all they *can* really do is look at lifestyle. If it CAN be cut, downsized, whatever, then that *might* be a way she can realize her goal of being home. Many times that is not possible.

So, while I'm glad you're doing your Happy SAHM Dance in Magnolia, TX, how about a little compassion and understanding for the moms that work to FEED, CLOTHE, and EDUCATE their kids so they can grow up to leave their "mark" on the world which, I dare say, won't be any less impressive than the mark made by the child of a SAHM.

This is not said to insult anyone who chooses not to be a SAHM, or simply can't. I really just want to say that, because I don't want anyone to think I feel what choices I made are better then theirs.

Anyway...I just couldn't imagine someone else spending more time then me with my son every day. What if he rolled over the first time somewhere else? Crawled? Walked? Said his first word? It really bothered me to think of someone who is essentially just working and has no real private connection with my son, witnessing these things...and me missing them. My husband was in daycare his whole childhood. Everyday until kindergarten, and every school holiday, after school, and summer until 5th grade. He told me about his schedule. Rush out the door, get to daycare at 8:00 am, his mom came and got him at 5:30 and they were home around 6:00. She made dinner and he did homework, they ate, had to shower or bath and get ready for bed, then he went to bed at 8:00. I'm thinking 2 hours of time every week day, when most of those two hours aren't even together. I just made me too sad. He really hated growing up that way and wanted to do whatever it took to keep our son out of daycare. I have always wanted to be a SAHM mom, so it just really worked out for us.

How could this question be a slam to working moms when it is CLEARLY a question for SAHMs?? You are clearly expressing your opinion on why you made that choice and how much you enjoy it. Very well written!!
Blessings!

Other than the obvious, I was home with my kids everyday.
I was available to do all the errands that working people never have time to do.
I didnt have to wear shoes that hurt my feet.
I got to go visit and get to know the other stay at home parents on the street as where we barely knew the working parents.
It gave me the chance to help other parents who needed daycare for their kids.

Thanks for the question. I think SAHM's need to be reminded why they stay home because it is tough sometimes and some people don't think it is a real job. If you're not a SAHM, you might not want to read the answers if it is going to make you feel "slammed."

P S in Magnolia, I love all of your reasons for staying home! My kids are now grown and I don't look back and wish I could have spent more time with them.

I will add that I loved being the one to comfort and give that security that they need. They could count on my face to be there when they needed me.

I also liked that I didn't have to send my sick kids somewhere to "share" their germs because I couldn't adjust my schedule. I also liked that I got all the housework, shopping, bill paying, etc. done during the week, so when my husband was home on the weekends, we were all available to hang out with him and make him feel valued for working hard all week. I never had to get upset with my husband for not helping around the house as I had time to do it (or at least what was necessary). He worked hard at his job and did the yard stuff. By putting up with us not having any money or nice things and having to deal with my crazy ways of saving money, he showed me what a man he is.

For all the reasons you stated - I didn't want someone else shaping my children into the people they'd become. I wanted them to know what was important to ME. My youngest will be a Senior in High school this coming fall. I LOVE how the kids at the school know who I am because I've spent the time at the school at parties, field trips, fundraisers, lunches, reading to them from Kindergarten. They know I'm safe and my kids know that school is important to me. I know the other parents who their kids are the most important thing to them by making the sacrifice to be a SAHP. It's not always been easy, but it's ALWAYS been important. God has blessed me beyond my dreams and I'm glad I listened to Him.

I love being a SAHM, first and foremost, because I set my own schedule. Oh, and if my "bosses" get too mouthy, I can put them in time out.

Honestly, I have never enjoyed being told what to do...so being a SAHM works out well. ;-) It also gives me plenty of time to pursue my hobbies (in snatched moments in between meals and naps). I sew, cook, bake, blog and hang out with friends. Pretty great!

I was a working person for years so being a SAHM took some adjusting for me. For awhile I was about to go crazy just being in the house not doing anything but cooking and cleaning. I enjoy being able to spend quality time with my family. I am the first thing my kids see when they wake up and the last thing they see when they go to sleep. My kids are very smart honor roll students because Im able to spend alot of time with them with their work. Im able to polish up our family and make us shine

I think I Love EVERYTHING about being a SAHM! :)

I love love love it! I've gotten sooooo much housework done! ;) I've tried new recipes and done things I didn't have time for when I worked full time. We make our own schedule, and we break our schedule if we want to, HA.
Our son truly enjoys it. Like today....I'm going to cook up some lunch for a friend who is coming over to visit, then we'll take the kiddos to the pool and hang out.
Another reason why we chose the sahm route for me is because our little girl...she's had a bit of a tramatic past ( she joined our family not too long ago ) and we felt totally against putting her in daycare. I wanted/needed to be with her. I am with her 24/7. She has just melted into our family as if she has always been there. Our son is fiercely protective of her, she is literally the funniest little girl I've ever met....and I have a connection with her that I've never had with any other child besides my own son. She's my daughter through and through.
I love being a sahm. ;)

PS that was beautifully written! Thank you for sharing!

I love being a SAHM too! I love the peacefulness in our home because I am here keeping things running smoothly. I am grateful that my husband validates my contributions to our home,family and his employment because I am home full time. He often tells me that he couldn't be as successful as he is at work or provide as well as he does for our family if he didn't have me supporting here at home. THat doesn't mean he leaves everything to me to do...he helps so much around the house and with the kids when he walks in the door at 6pm and on weekends.

I enjoy the freedom of being a SAHM...I get to explore my hobbies and interests throughout the day. I love having the time to be very involved in my children's lives. I love the hugs, the chats, being available when they are sad or mad or happy and want to talk, watching them learn new things,getting together with friends to play and do activites or day trips. I loved snuggling up before naptime and reading stories...now we just snuggle and read...no more naps. I am grateful to be home when they are sick and just want mom.

I enjoy having the energy and time to keep up with my home and make my home a cozy and warm place for my hubby and kids to come home to at the end of the day...along with all the neighbor kids that come by too.

I read once that love is a four letter word to a child spelled T I M E. I am grateful to have sooo much time to show my kids I love them and they are what matters most. I will have plenty of time in the future to pursue more hobbies or interests or a career...but not at the sacrifice of my children,husband or our homelife.

As a homeschooling sahm (home for almost 10 years now), I love that our parental influence is stronger than their peer influence. Which isn't to say we don't still fight about clothes, tv programs, or iPods, but that these issues almost never spiral into "But EVERYONE can/has/does," and our decisions are always met with respect (even if it does take them a while to digest it, lol.)

When we decided to have children we made the decision together that I'd stay home with the children. I have not regretted that decision ever.
I take care of the children and our home. I do all the doctor and dentist visits with the children. I take them to and from their activities. I am involved in everything they do. I am the uniform mom. I am the Band Parents' secretary. I was the PTO chair. I am extremely busy, but it is important that the children know that they and their activities are important. My husband has never missed a single school performance or activity that the children were involved in and he has a 50 min. commute.
By my being home, the children have never not had their mom when they needed me. They've not had to be "that kid" whose parents are never there. They've had to share me with "that kid", but they never resented it. They like mom being around and involved.
As we send our oldest off to college in a few weeks, we know that he knows he has a soft place to land at home and that if he needs me, I'm home and online at 6:15 am waiting for his email! ;-)
LBC

Great post! I love that I get to homeschool, see all of my children's "firsts", and help them grow to be productive members of society. This is my calling and my "career"- I am so thankful to have a supportive husband who has my back.

I really like being able to push my kids on the swings myself in the morning before it gets hot!! I love when my older son gets up all bleary eyed stumbling into the living room with messy hair and I hear my baby boy chattering on the monitor. That is my most favorite time of day bc I was a child in a single parent home. My mom rocked but I HATED being rushed out of my house everyday as a kid. I love that my kids have peaceful mornings. I was having a rough week this past week just feeling like I was the worst parent ever. Then I remembered my childhood and I thought about how at day care in the summer they took us swimming, skating, to the park for picnics etc. As much as all that should have been super fun, the thing I loved most was being at home with my mom and sister. Sure it wasn't as stimulating at every moment, but I had my secure place at home where I was loved. At daycare I was cared for, but caring and loving are different. This was just my experience, I am sure there are care givers that are just fantastic, but I just loved being with my family. Whenever I think I should be doing so much more than I am I remember that I am giving my children the one thing no-one else ever can, myself, my devotion, my time, my boo boo kisses, all that good stuff. Nobody can replace that. So that makes me grateful, even on the most frustrating days, weeks, months..... I am happy that I get the opportunity to parent my own children full time. As I said my mom worked, I mean she had too somebody had to pay the bills! She was and is my role model and just the most awesome mama on the planet, so I have no loss of love for working moms!! Just really happy my work and my motherhood get to be one and the same :D

I work from home. I left a highly stressful, bad job situation. We crunched the numbers and decided I could freelance and we'd still make it. I like the flexibility. I like being there so my teenaged stepdaughter can participate in school activities without having to wait for one of us to get her after work. I like being able to do things with my little one like go to the park on a nice day. It has it's own stresses (laundry, house, work, kid) but those are some of the things I like. I liked DD's old daycare, but it was too far to keep her in it even PT. I also like working some because I like my own money, supporting my family and using my degree. I don't think I'll leave less of a mark if I return to FT work down the road.

An advantage to being an SAHM -- or a working parent with a flexible schedule if that's possible -- is being much more involved and "plugged in" to your child's school world and activities. If you have time during school hours, you can volunteer at school and participate in things like field trips, class parties, Field Day, special events, even stuffing envelopes or preparing materials for teachers, etc.

This all adds up to knowing much more about your child's daily routine; your child's classmates and their personalities (so it all makes more sense when your child comes home talking about Sally or Billy doing this or that); your child's teachers; and the overall tone and culture of the school. I volunteer in the library, and I coordinate the "strategies lab" monthly, help with an arts program in the fall, etc. All that means I know the school better and am known at the school. I don't mean that SAHMs or parents who can volunteer should spend too much time at school, or start to think of school as their personal domains -- that can happen and it shouldn't. (Hey, I'm begging off doing Field Day this year!) But volunteering parents can do so much good at the school and can make programs happen that otherwise simply would not occur (like this arts program, which is entirely parent-run, and which many schools don't have solely because no parent volunteers to run it).

I would urge any SAHM to get involved in her kids' schools,not just by going to PTA meetings but by meeting needs there. I know parents who say "my kids' teachers don't want parents in the classroom" as as kids get older there really is less need for parent help directly in classrooms. But there's still a lot to do! Parents should be aware that the school librarian probably would love their help, or the cafeteria may use volunteers who oversee the lunchroom a few times a month, or there may be a parent-run program that PTA would like to have but doesn't because no one has stepped up.

I feel for parents who must work and whose work schedules cannot accommodate their taking time off during the day to see their kids in the school setting. I know some parents who work from home and who are thus able to do some volunteering, and I know they value that flexibility highly.

I became a SAHM when my son was 15 months old. My husband and I chose to do this, and it was the best decision. I had a wonderful family friend who watched my son for me up until then. Luckily, my husband found a better job, and I was able to make that switch. I do feel like I missed the first year of his life by working full time. He is now 7, and in First grade. I sometimes feel that if I had worked full time I might not have been able to pick up on his delays with speech and language. I also am able to work with him closely, following his IEP, and helping him as much as I can. I do know that I wouldn't have been able to take all of that time if I worked. I thank God for the opportunity. It has been such a blessing to be home and help and teach him. I couldn't nor wouldn't want anyone else doing that for him.