Hi Moms, I'm stuck and need some help. My sister in law got married for the 4th time and they are having a reception. I'm not really sure about the etiquette of bringing a gift - and if so, what would be acceptable? To top it off, my husband has been at odds with this sibling for his entire life. We are going to the reception because it is the right thing to do and not necessarily because my husband is happy or excited for her (I'm staying out of it, I don't understand it, but I am also not in her situation). She is likely expecting gifts, but she already has a ton of things from her past three marriages and we don't have a lot of money to spare. Any suggestions?
I laughed SO much at these responses, and thank you! Your humor is very much appreciated. My husband also really enjoyed the responses (and agreed with most of them). Quite frankly, I had no idea what marriage it is for the guy and was wondering if he was A.K.CsMOM's ex -LOL! But alas, I found out tonight it is his 2nd. Seems the family is split down the middle in terms of getting a gift for her. I think I will go with the romantic gift basket idea. Thanks to all for the advice and laughs!
A pillow that says "Good luck this time, hope this one lasts..."
LOL
Just joking.
Yah, I hope this isn't the guy's 1at time getting married.
You know they have those signs that say "Welcome to the Smith's?" You should get her one that you can change the last name on. :) Seriously my grandma has been married 7, yes 7, times. I can't keep up with the last name changes. If you feel like you must get her something, I would just go with a gift card.
I like Brenna's idea. A bottle of champagne and maybe a box of choc dipped strawberries or some sort of individually wrapped chocolates (from a classy chocolate place like Peterbrooke or something). Put it in a basket with fluffy stuff, wrap it with cellophane and attach card. The end.
prepaid legal for her next divorce. :) how bout a gift card. :)
therapy, hee hee sounds like she has some issues.
a picture frame, I think you could find one for $20 maybe at bed bath and beyond with a coupon. Good for you guys for going.
a horse shoe or a rabbit's foot
Uh, let me ask my ex husband....he's on his 5th marriage......LOL....
I have no idea really what you ought to get her. Maybe just a nice card and a basket of things like, a nice frame for this wedding picture, an album, candles, wine, wine glasses, a nice romantic cd....etc......that's what I would do I think.....in order to keep it nice. I definitely wouldn't spend a lot of money though.
To me after 3, it becomes a joke of sorts.....I certainly laugh at my ex because I know none of them will ever work out. Of course, the new "wife" thinks this time it's going to be different.....yeah right. I had one actually ask me what my advice was for her and I just said one word, RUN!! But she didn't run right away but she eventually did.....If only she would have listened.....hmmm....
If your husband has been at odds with her forever, it isn't the right thing to do to attend a 4th wedding. Those temporary "love slugs" should be running off to a wedding chapel with velvet red wall paper and an Elvis look alike justice of the peace, to tie the knot. (Hope they make sure its a slip knot)
And since you don't have lots of $$, I say send a bottle of Andre champaign and a funny card and let it go at that, because everything about this union sounds pretty cheap.
Blessings.....
A Lawyer. Sorry, I thought it was funny. A gift card to a resturant maybe.
A plaque that reads, "If at first you don't succeed, try, try, try again!"
Or, "Practice makes perfect."
Isn't there a "Marriage for Dummies" book?
Couldn't help myself. ;)
My husband said a gift card for a revolving door!
A book about how to make a marriage and keep it strong? No? Then maybe a gift certificate out to a restaurant they like. If it's a big wedding though she might not even notice if you don't get her anything.
L.
Is this the first wedding for the groom?? I think it's tacky personally to keep expecting gifts when you are on multiple marriages. If this is the grooms first wedding I'd probably just give a gift card to a restaurant. But then again, if your hubby and his sister don't talk, would they even notice if you brought a gift?? Tough situation, tacky one at best in my opinion but I understand it's family.
gift card to a counselor??? hahahahahahahahaha.
Ok - now that THAT's out..........
I would get them a gift card for dinner at a restaurant - you can scale this depending on your budget. You can go simple - like $40 or $50 at Outback or whatever you know they like.
The other thing that is always classy is simply a bottle of champagne, unless you know they don't drink. You can go less expensive - Frexinet has a classy looking bottle, it's very good but will only run you around $15 or you can do a bottle of Veuve Clicquot (it's the new dom perignon, but only about $40 a bottle).
Have fun at the reception.
Something sweat and cheep. I'm not terribly creative, but some college students I worked with gave us a bag of microwave popcorn and a romantic dvd. I knew they didn't have much money, and it was incredibly sweat!
I completely understand the suggestions that you not get a gift, but I think it's best to be the bigger person and wish them all the best in this marriage.
Brenna, you took my marriage counselor idea.
I'd just go with a gift card or a nice frame for the picture. At this point, their houses are likely well-set up. Or maybe a gift card for dinner out for the two of them. $30 to a restaurant they like to get them started.
4 leaf clover ;()
If you dont have the money, then how about just a nice card?
Simple, easy and cheap. I dont think that gifts should be expected if this is your 4th wedding. Like you said they must have everything they could need.
A card. A gift is expected for a first wedding. After that it is optional.
Umm... I don't think a gift is appropriate here. I'd go with nothing.
oooohhhhhh man....a congratulatory card...with many hopes of a lasting marriage? (LOL) sorry....I would find it hard to give a gift on the 4th marriage....I know - I'm bad...okay- okay -
you need help....a nice wedding card and a gift certificate to a restaurant - like the Outback or some other place that they may like...
I vote - NOTHING.....a card at the most! If I were on my 4th marriage, I would not expect any gifts from anyone, it would be more about just celebrating with us our union. Is it HIS first marriage??
I would give them a nice business card holder with plenty of divorce attorney's contact info (cards) in it. I think it will come in handy!
How about making up a little gift basket? Put a box of spaghetti, jar of sauce, CHEAP bottle of wine, and a candle in it. Top with a congrats card. DONE! And CHEAP!!!!!
I have to think everyone invited is thinking the same thing! My brother has been married three times. It was the 1st for all three wives so he had three HUGE weddings. Finally #3 was a keeper. #1 and #2 of course took all the household items that are typically wedding gifts so those things got replenished LOL! Since it was the 1st wedding for all three wives, no one really thought about the gift thing. Is this HIS first wedding? Maybe a plant or a couple of those folding lawn chairs in a bag...those are only about $10-$15 a piece, movie tickets w/ a dinner gift certificate, a year membership to Sam's or Costco (about $35-$50) Try to be happy for her, maybe she got it right this time!
Divorce Insurance Paperwork, yes it is really out there
Hahaha.... Love these suggestions (of course, don't do that, but funny!). I'd say a really nice and thoughtful card. That's it. Maybe an inexpensive small photo album from Target, like less than $10?
His and Hers towels (or wash cloths) - makes it easy to split them up when they get divorced.
A good divorce lawyer
Check and see if she's registered and get her something in the least expensive range. Or get her a gift certificate to the place she's registered with.
Honestly, I would give a nice, well meaning card and for go the gift. Her 4th marriage? Why didn't the other ones work? Is she the problem or is it them? Go to the reception but don't bother with a gift. Your presence should be enough.
M
How embarrassing for her that she didn't say "no gifts". That being said my first thougt is "nothing" but I would give her a $25 restaurant gift card and call it a day. Good luck.
Simple answer? A card and $20. :-D
Send them a postcard from your Fiji vacation (happening at the same time as their wedding) saying 'wish you were here.'
I would say that by the fourth marriage, enough has been accumulated. I would buy a card and that's about it.
I always find picture frames are a nice gift in these situations. You don't have to spend a lot of money to get something that looks nice.
So what Ihear is that you don't have the money to get her a gift, your sister-in-law has everything (in material department) from the last three marriages, and your husband doesn't want to go. Where does the "it's the right thing to do" come into all of this?
Either this woman is picking the wrong guy, she has commitment issues, or she just has issues. I can't believe she is actually having a reception.
With that said, I wouldn't give her a gift. It is tacky that she is even having a reception and if your husband is at odds with her is a reception a step in the right direction? Since it is his sister, you should leave it up to him to go or not go. And if you really are staying out of it, then again it is his decision.
Personally I think it is selfish of her as well. Four marriages and four receptions. It says greedy to me.
haha! I was going to say the same thing as Kristina M. Divorce paperwork:-) But I'm just kidding. I'd probably give her $15 with a card.
A beautiful card and a dinner gift card....and best wishes!
A marriage book.
I agree with the other moms that said a gift certificate for a restaurant in a nice card. Good luck and try to have fun!
Jennifer S.- do we have the same grandmother?! My grandma has been married more times than I can remember.
