Went to a Wedding Today And...

I suppose from another angle, but when my husband was married the first time the brides mother showed up in a t-shirt.

Well, I grew up in the floral biz, so I have seen it ALL...lol...
One of my favorites...a couple that had their wedding at a park, where guests had to pay admission fees, had the nerve to make it a "pot luck reception." Yup, not just BYOB but BYOF(ood)! And after charging the guests to attend and not providing so much as a sandwich, they still included their registration list in the invites.
I have also seen a full reenactment of that song, I think it is called Dashboard Lights?? by the bride and groom. That was pretty hilarious, actually. Oh, and centerpieces with live fish where the fish started going belly-up part way through the evening! Wedding invites that actually include the phrase "cash gifts appreciated!" How about a bride getting "bounced" from her own wedding venue because she was so trashed? That one was a friend of mine... love this question, so many amusing memories!!!

I did attend a wedding with a cash bar once. ((shudder)) But this story takes the cake! (pun intended!)

That sounds like an awful time but they probably don't know any better. In the south we just say, bless their hearts.........

To answer your question, I have been to a few tacky weddings but none could match this.

Hahaha... quite the story.
You sure paid a lot of attention to the details. I'd have been hot and not have had a problem getting me a paid drink at the bar. And if it was that crazy of an occasion I'm sure I would have drank my share to get into their "mode"

I'm guessing you dont really know them all that well otherwise you wouldnt have been too shocked how the occasion was goin to run.

Remember, the wedding is not about you, it's about them. We didn't have an open bar at our wedding, we did provide champagne for the toast. Maybe that was tacky, but it was on a Sunday night
Our buffet was nice at a country club, non alcoholic drinks were provided.

Try not to be judgemental - remember the wedding is for you to share their union, not to criticize the ceremony, church or reception.

I have a similar experience. The wedding was in the outber banks, NC. I live in PA. It cost about 1000 dollars just to stay the weekend, eat, drive down and back etc. We also had no rolls, salad, coffee.... heck we didnt even have drinks...just some big punch bowl thing claiming to have some alcohol in it. The wedding was on the beach on a red flag day, they made us all stand in the hurricane type winds. The reception was a junky building on a marsh, lasted about 2hrs (was over by 830pm). The bride would not let anyone suggest songs or do anything that could be considered "traditional".

Thankfully we traveled with my sister and brother in law. We enjoyed each others company. If it wasnt for them that weekend, i would have left in tears. I laugh it off now, i got to spend one dang expensive weekend in NC with my sister :)

PS, it was my wedding anniversary also....lol!

When my brother and ex-sil married, she had been previously married. He had not. Everything about the wedding seemed to be met with, "oh, yeah, I already that." Some of the worst things...she refused to buy a wedding dress. We knew that finances were an issue and even offered to buy one for her. She INSISTED that she was borrowing her friend's wedding dress. Well, it wasn't really a wedding dress to begin with...more like a white prom dress. The bigger thing was my ex-SIL was waaaaay bigger than her friend and that dress. The dress was quite low cut, and the dress was about two sizes smaller than my ex-SIL. She couldn't even get it quite zippered to the top, but she was determined to wear that ridiculous dress. So, she was married in a church with her boobs hanging out all over the place and looking like a stuffed sausage in this dress that was obviously entirely too small. My parents were mortified, but it wasn't something they controlled.

She also had insisted that her jewelry would be the string of pearls and pearl earrings that her first husband (who she was obviously still in love with) had given to her. The ONLY thing that kept that from happening was my brother buying her a necklace and earrings that he delivered to her as a gift the wedding of the morning to wear with her dress. She couldn't quite understand why my brother wouldn't want his bride wearing the jewels her ex had given to her.

This is just over the top tacky. I would have been livid to have invested my time and money into this couple who are clearly so self involved that they couldn't muster the energy to be gracious hosts.

I've been to several weddings with cash bar. To me that is no big deal to have to pay for your own alcohol. However all of these weddings provided coffee, tea, sodas and juice. And while some may have served in those clear plastic drink cups none were ever in dixie paper cups...lol.

I don't mind the Apron $1 dance, it's very customary in many families and a nice way to give the couple a bit of spending money for their honeymoon. However you NEVER demand guests participate and pony up $10 is just ridiculous. Had it been me when the DJ tried to shame us into participating, I proudly would have yelled back "So Sorry but we can't participate because we've blown all our cash on the dixie cup drinks and we're saving a few to buy a piece of the wedding cake!"

Peace and Blessings,
T. B

Wow!

To answer your question, here's a tacky story from my wedding. During the ceremony the deacon, whom we had never met, started talking about his own attempted suicide years before.

We all had a good laugh about it afterward... sigh.

Wow - at first I thought you were just being nit picky, but as I read on I was with you on this one! It all was pretty bad. The church I could get over. The quaint idea is nice. Just was too hot, but all that other stuff . . . whoa! In a few months you'll be laughing. That was one interesting read. Sorry you had to go through that. It all was in very poor taste. I can't say that I have had a bad wedding experience like that. You did a great job describing your day. You should make it into an article and submit to a magazine.

Tacky bride and a tacky groom to plan such an awful day!

I have been at every extreme of wedding i think possible. Including one that might top this. A relative of mine got married a few years ago. We arrived at the church a few minutes before the wedding was supposed to start. But no one was there. We waited and waited, but no one showed. Odd, because my aunt had just spoke with the bride that morning to confirm directions. Finally found a phone to call them & they told us the wedding had been changed to 4 pm. They didn't think to tell us (but everyone else seemed to know.) The reception was right afterwards in the church basement. (not uncommon around here.) It was 'catered' by KFC. Spork and all. Seriously. Mom tried to sneak into the church kitchen to get a real fork but got busted. We looked around for drinks (other than the water on the table) and asked some of the groomsmen where they got their beer from. Oh, they said, they had a cooler stashed behind the bridal party table. But it was only for the bridal party. One of the parents was opposed to drinking, so it was on the down low. My dad commented that had he known it was a BYOB, he would have bought a six pack in the 3 hours they sat around waiting for the wedding. Lol! We took off after the dinner was done. It makes for an interesting story, but we don't hold it against them. It's just how they are. They are good people, they mean well, it's just that they have different 'standards', if that's the right way to put it? I know it's probably all they could afford, and it allowed everyone to gather and celebrate their union.

That is the worst wedding story I have ever heard, and you did such a wonderful job describing it, that I now feel like I was there too. I'm picturing my redneck cousin's wedding, which was as close as I've ever come to that kind of an event. But not even his barbarian antics approach what you endured today.

God bless you, you poor thing! :)

I would have been pretty pissed too. It's not like this tack-fest was 20 minutes from home. I have never minded dollar dances. If you don't want to participate, then don't, but demanding each table fork out $10 and then calling out the ones that don't is nuts.
I have been to two weird weddings. The first one the bride wore a dress that was about two sizes too big and had socks (yes, socks) in her bra. You could see them when she bent down. After they were pronounced man and wife they didn't have a recessional,they just started with the front row and shook people's hands. So those of us in the back had to stand there FOREVER for the bride and group to make it to us. Then at the reception they had sheet pizzas and bagged salad (with nothing else added), along with plastic pitchers of lemonade and water. Each table had a bottle of sparkling grape juice and a stack of dixie cups.
The other one was held at a park. I was actually invited by the maid of honor to babysit her one year old son during the ceremony and while I was there was asked by another bridesmaid to watch her kids too. Guests sat on picnic tables during the ceremony. One of the bridesmaids (the Best Man's 17 year old girfriend) got mad because the bride (who wore a purple prom dress) wanted her to walk down the aisle with someone other than her boyfriend, so she refused to take the groomsmans arm, chewed gum down the aisle and then grabbed a lawn chair to sit in after she walked down the aisle. The best man walked down the aisle with the groom SMOKING, and then before pictures could even be taken afterwards the groom took his short sleeved, white, button down shirt and bolo tie off and took pictures in his wife beater. Awesome.

Oh man!
That's bad!
I have not personally been to a horrid wedding but I read about an incident at one that made me laugh.
It seems there was this mountain country couple that got married.
You had to hike 3 miles to get to the cabin / meadow / lake to where the very casual camping type wedding was being held.
One wedding gift was a pair of goats.
Well, one of the guests had extremely long hair - down past her behind - that she wore braided (one big long braid hanging down) with lots of flowers in her hair.
As she was sitting on a log, eating the camp fire reception meal, chatting away with other guests, the guy next to her said "Um, you might want to do something about that" and THAT'S when she noticed one of the goats had swallowed her her braid to within a foot of her head.
She had to pull her hair out of the goats throat - it was chewed and covered in goat stomach fluids - the smell was unique to say the least.
She had to wash it out in the lake, but it survived more or less intact.

Oh my gosh . . . that sounds like quite the evening! :P How extremely tacky.

I have an opposite story. One of my good girlfriends from childhood could not afford a big splashy wedding reception. So they had a lovely early ceremony with a cake and punch reception in the church hall. It was so beautiful, and done in such great taste. They are still married to this day!

I think it's better to do it that way than to have something you really can't afford, then nickle and dime your guests.

WOW, Ive not read other responses but this was ( in my opinion) EXTREMELY tacky.

I don't really have any stories except for my own first wedding. I got married when I was 30. My mom INSISTED that she didn't want to *look* like a "mother of the bride" (whatever THAT looks like) so she ended up buying a long formal red with silver glitter all over it dress. I guess she didn't want to look matronly...hello, I was 30 and she was 50! I had an early wedding with a lunch reception. We got married on Valentine's Day (don't suggest that for anyone), so at least she had the color right. She ended up wearing a BLACK bra and slip, so you can see it in all the pics...NICE!

Ok, so now my MIL...they were a little redneck, ok, not a problem. However, I kept offering to go with her to get her dress. I made suggestions, showed her pics, etc. I really should have INSISTED...AND I should have made sure to see it BEFORE the wedding, but I didn't, thinking she knew what I wanted and I trusted her to get it.

So fast forward...my mom in her red and silver glitter long prom dress (so she doesn't look matronly) and now my MIL comes walking in with her TARGET, flowered, crinkly matterial, summer, casual, wear to church dress. OMG.

And it rained 7 inches the day we got married. Isn't that supposed to be good luck? Not so much. Now I am happily remarried and had a smaller, easier wedding. Lol!

Mine was tacky.
We got married in my parents dining room. We had our reception in our apartments "game room." Family and friends brought food. There was no coffee and no tea. No alcohol either. Our cake was from Costco.
It sucked.
But it was MY wedding.
This wedding was not YOUR wedding. You went to celebrate THEIR marriage. THEY are happy. THEY wanted to dance and play games. THEY are probably happy.
It's too bad that you were sitting there at her wedding judging every single thing they did as opposed to enjoying their happiness.
L.

I didnt really get the issue until it came to the dinner LOL

WOW!! No free coffee or tea? That is ridiculous!
IMO if you cannot afford the alcoholic beverages for guests, dont have them. But there should ALWAYS be free coffee, tea and soda. Bottom line. ANd for those who said you shouldnt be "judging" ummmmm yeh you can. You were invited to their wedding, Im sure you were expected to bring a gift, and you also traveled.
We paid for our own wedding. We asked that there be no children there because every head costs. And no offense to anyone with kids, but we simply couldnt afford to add another 50-60 heads to our bill. WIth that said, any people traveling from out of town were welcome to bring their kids. And of course the kids in the wedding party were there.
We paid for alcohol, we paid for gifts for our wedding party. When people take time out of their lives and money out of their pockets for YOUR big day....you should be respectful enough to at least host them comfortably. EVen if you are paying for it. Again if you cant afford it, elope!
When my cousin got married, she had a biig beautiful dress, many bridesmaids, one of those 80's style multi layer cakes w/ fake stairs leading up w/ plastic bridesmaids and and fountain lol HILARIOUS. The guests were invited back to my aunts house where there was no music. No dancing, we were outside and were served ham salad......WIERD.

Sounds like they are clueless. How do you know these people? Family, friends or work buddies?

I would not have taken it personally, but I would have wondered how they could be so completely tasteless.

I would be disappointed to of traveled all that way,ya we did 5 hrs a few yrs ago it was a cash bar the food was horrible had no idea what we were eating didn't fill us up but everywhere was closed so we had to wait till morning ceremony was nice thought the food was going to be fantastic but it wasn't...Yours has it beat

oh my, yep, crazy.

my only tacky wedding story is when my cousin married, they picked the WORST reception hall, SMALL, POORLY LIT, and HOT -then tried to cram 2x as many people into it as it was designed for. we also had to wait almost 2 hours in this horribly hot, cramped reception hall while the bridal party took pictures. no food, no music, nothing. tepid tap water and a cash bar. food was to be served "when the bridal party arrives". just sitting and waiting. by the time they got there we were WAY PAST ready to go home. we had 2 VERY unhappy two year olds in our party. some people take the "all about me" addage WAY too seriously, imo. if i ever had a wedding (i never did, which is probably why i would appreciate it more than many) i would think of the guests. they are there FOR YOU, to give YOU homage and gifts and to celebrate YOUR marriage. the least you can do is make sure they are comfortable. they are spending their time and money on YOU, just because you asked them to, no other reason.

Holy cow! What a story! I can't imagine it, to be honest...

I can't think of a single bad wedding story, other than perhaps, a guy I didn't care for marrying my friend smashing cake up her nose when he fed it to her. I was a bridemaid for that wedding, and she wore my wedding dress. I still can't believe they are still married, he's such a slouch...

Anyway, you have quite a story!

Dawn

wow. this should go down memory lane as: never again...
i don't have horror stories re: weddings. i don't like over the top celebrations but this is just wow awful.

I hesitate to write this lest someone I know recognize the story. Two people in our church recently got married. He is in her mid-30s, she in her late 20s. Invitations were done through Facebook - yes, FB - no paper invite of any kind. Service at church was pleasant, although the bridge was 45 minutes late. There was a best man and the bride's mother stood in as matron of honor. Reception was in church basement. After the 45 minutes wait for the bride and 45 minute service, we were told we had to "come back" in an hour because they needed time to "set up". I suspect they wanted the few people who hadn't been "formally invited" to go home and not crash the reception. They thanked those who hadn't been formally invited for coming. Translation - go home now.

Food was as follows: ginger ale toast, buffet was pasta with white sauce and peas, pasta with red sauce, meatballs and salad. They were running out of meatballs towards the end so they were cutting them in half. The meatballs were exactly that, they tasted like balls of meat with little else for flavor. I couldn't eat the salad because the bottled dressings they had out had ingredients I was allergic to. I didn't care for the rest of the food and neither did my husband. We ordered a pizza as soon as we got home.

Hope you didn't give them a big gift.

You would think that today was April 1st and this was some sort of joke! What a horror story of a wedding!

Tacky stories myself -- hmm. Can't think of any off the top of my head. But nothing would have topped your story anyway.

Ew no.
Well, my friend was chewing gum during her ceremony, I thought that was kinda weird.

My friend went to a wedding with her hubby and 3 boys. After everyone had eaten they were told they had to pay for there meal. (this was not mentioned before-hand) Then at the evening reception, no-one saw the bride & groom until much later in the evening. They had been sitting at the entrance of the hotel, accepting their gifts. Actual presents were put to the side but envelopes were opened (in front of the guests) by the groom, and the bride was adding up the cash!!! Classy or what???

it's the paper cups that i can't get over. who pours wine to the brim, or anything actually..

but you did get cake right? there's that i guess.

I find the $10 game tacky but i also don't like stag and drags that we have up here, or dollar dances etc.

wish i had a flicker men in black thing to erase your memory.lol

Yes, this was beyond tacky...no doubt. It seems like they could have put out basic drinks coffee, tea, water, soda for free. I have never been a fan of the cash bar at weddings...I find it pretty distasteful. I think that if you cannot afford an open bar, then you should just not have any bar. We only had a champagne toast at our wedding....but everyone got champagne. I don't believe that you have to have extravagance at a wedding, but you should see to the basic comfort of your guests.

Tacky wedding story: Years ago we attended a wedding for my husband's cousin. We never received an invitation..."our" invitation was supposed to be included within the one for my MIL/FIL. Keep in mind that we were well into our 20's and had been married for several years so we really did rate our own invitation. As far as I was concerned, if we didn't receive a invitation addressed to us personally or even a personal phone call, then we were NOT invited. However, my inlaws insisted that the family had to be represented and they could not come from out of state so my husband caved and we went.

So we arrived at the church about 15 minutes before the wedding was to start and NO ONE was there. We were concerned that we were somehow in the wrong place. A few minutes before it was supposed to start, everyone started showing up in some sort of car line...not sure why the hell they waited so long to show up. The ceremony was interupted by a cell phone ringing...it was actually the preacher's phone ringing within his robes.

We got to the reception at the Country Club and although DH's cousin did come and speak to us, the bride was too busy with her wedding party to speak to any of her other guests. I literally had to ask her new MIL to introduce us so that we could congratulate them on their marriage. I find it the height of rudeness for a bride not to acknowledge her wedding guests and thank them for coming. I also don't think that I ever received a thank you note for the gift we sent.

These two people were quite young...late teens to early 20's I think and only got married because she became pregnant. Their marriage lasted less than 2 years. Just goes to show that the marrige is the important part...not the ceremony....

One of my nephews married a wonderful woman. They are both very religious so it was a church wedding. We drove 800 miles with 4 kids in tow to attend. The ceremony went on for almost 2 hrs and at one point the minister actually said that the couple from the church who had mentored the couple was responsible for the success they would have in their future together. Ya know because it's not like their parents who raised them from infants had anything to do with the people they grew up to be. Reception was snackie type stuff in the church hall. No tables and very few chairs for the almost 150 people. The trays of food were gone before anyone had a chance to really have anything. We stopped at McDonalds on the way back to the hotel.

Another nephew was married to a terrible self centered woman. I figured it out after meeting her for 10 minutes. One of the flower girls dropped out last minute to they asked my 6 yr old to be a flower girl. They supplied the dress but I had to buy shoes, tights, something to put in her hair, and a slip. Again 800 miles to get there, church in the middle of nowhere. Reception was at a nice little place but too many people for too small of a restaurant. Bride was horrible, still is a horrible person. How they are still married is beyond me.

You know, I read a lot of stories about weddings here on mamapedia and watch shows about weddings on Tv. In ALL of my 53 years I have never, NEVER been to a wedding that had anything more than the wedding cake, mints, nuts, and maybe a few refreshments with some sort of punch. No food, no dinner, no anything so extravagant.

I cannot imagine wasting money on that stuff. Really!

We had our home made wedding cake made by my FIL, we had a bunch of mints and nuts that some friends were nice enough to cover the serving for us, and we did a few gifts while we were there. It was fine.

I see these price tags for the weddings today on TV and here and think about how that money could go for a down payment of a house, or a new car, or stuff for some of their kids they already have. I would never ever spend that kind of money on dinner for wedding guests. It is not anything I have ever seen in person. I think it's a waste of money.

I have been to a wedding that was in an old church like you said. The bride nearly passed out. The grooms grandmother was the officiator and she told the janitor to not turn on the AC until right before the wedding to save money on the bill. They had the reception at the brides church cultural hall and it was down right cold in there. Every one had a much better time dancing and eating cake and drinking punch.

Hmmmm.. .A wedding is so expensive - if you have to go low budget, you get paper cups and a cash bar and not so great food and a musty church. If you need to go low budget, I guess you should only invite guests who are more interest in sharing your joy than eating a good dinner.

The point of going to a wedding is to celebrate the marriage and not to get a "value" for your time and gift.

You could write a post saying how nice it was that they had arranged to have a cash bar (instead of no bar and just punch) and provided a meal for you. You could be gracious for what you got, and not offended by what you did not get. I can't imagine being horrified because someone served wine in a paper cup. I would be pleased to be invited to their special day.

I do NOT think they should have made everyone do a cash dance. I've seen that at some weddings, but its never mandatory. They SHOULD have had free coffee and tea. It does sound like they could have done a little better planning - but - maybe they are not detail oriented or delegated details to a family member or someone in the wedding party.

And - the stripper dance? Hmmm... I think you could lighten up a bit on that. Funny and not something I would do, but not something to turn your nose up at either.

In general, after thinking it over, I think your reaction to their low budget wedding was more tacky than the event itself.

That is quite possibly the tackiest wedding story I've ever heard.

Cash bars are not uncommon in my area, in terms of serving hard liquor, but most weddings at least provide coffee, soda and beer.

My sister was married in a chapel in a tourist trap resort town. After the ceremony, we all went to dinner at a restaurant. There were about 24 people and dinner was covered by our parents as a gift to my sister, who had intended on paying herself. That is how you can be informal and classy at the same time.

I was in the bridal party of a wedding. The ceremony was lovely, but between the church and the reception, the bride and groom insisted on bar hopping; a small town tradition. I was the only one in the wedding party that did not drink. The bride and groom were trashed by the time I convinced them to get to the reception area, and it all went downhill from there.

My reaction to this wedding would have been exactly like yours. Tacky tacky

It's not a wedding story but a tacky formal story:

Many years ago I was lucky enough to be invited to attend one of the Inaugural Balls after an election. So I bought a ball gown and a ticket to DC. The ball ticket itself was about $150. I went with a good friend and of course we were very excited.

Her fiance dropped us off with our evening bags, a bit of cash, cameras and ID and in to the hotel we went, dreaming of a lovely evening. I think it started around 7.

Uh...I don't know about all of the balls but the first thing we noticed: no food! We were hoping for a dinner or at least hors d'oeuvres and there was nothing! Ok, I take that back - they had pretzels, popcorn and peanuts in a little bowls. Bars have better snacks! We had to leave the ball room and go over to the diner in the hotel, in our fancy attire, and order sandwiches. And we weren't the only ones.

Then, it was a freakin' cash bar. The money went quickly and we had to call her husband to bring us more.

Another shocker - hardly any chairs! Hundreds of people and just a few chairs around the ballroom. No tables or anything to sit at. Our heels were so high we spent a large portion of time in the ladies room where there was a lounge to sit down. Along with half of the other women it seemed. I have a lot of photos of bathroom.

Oh, and every time we left the actual ballroom - to eat/pee/sit/get cash, we had to go through the long security line to get back in. Think TSA times 100.

Since there are so many balls the President/VP need to make their way around to each of them. We didn't get an appearance by the President until midnight, SO LONG after we arrived! We were tired and hungry. It was fun to see them dance, though and be so near. After he and the first lady left a lot of people started to leave as well but then the VP and his wife arrived and they started dancing with so much joy and the crowd that was left was treated to a pretty cool scene.

I really expected so much more!

To top it off, I used up all of my film (remember that?) on the first 5 hours of our evening capturing bathrooms, diners, big hair (we had Texas as one of the states in our ball) and general friend silliness. When the President arrived and we were in the second row from the stage, almost close enough to touch him, I had no film left. Of course. Oddly enough, the lady next to me heard me bemoan this fact and asked for my business card. A few weeks later she was kind enough to mail me copies of her photos. Wow.