Teach them to do things for themselves. We are raising future adults..not future children.
This helps you, helps them, will help their future wives. Your youngest is quite young...but he can learn by doing small tasks..and from watching big brothers and daddy do stuff to pitch in.
All three of my kids(boy 13, girl 10, boy 6) have chores. My oldest will be cooking dinner tonight. They know how to do laundry,vacuum,mop,clean bathrooms top to bottom and other stuff too. Like I said, I am raising future adults..not future children. The latter happens often..I see it all the time and read about it on this site. Husbands that don't look to lighten the load their wife is carrying. So many woman are working full time, and also expected to do majority of the child caring/housework.
I am not a drill sergeant and our house does not look like Martha Stewart lives here...but it is clean and quite organized. We have fun in our home and I have expectations according to their ages. I don't expect them to clean with attention to detail as my husband and I do. If I don't think it is up to my standards then I go back and put in some extra time....but not when they are watching.
I have a husband that pitches in a lot around the house. I rarely have to ask him to help out because he sees a need and fills it. We are a team. I am home full time so the house is my main responsibility but he does so much here when he clocks out at work and clocks IN at home. I feel so blessed in this department. If his mom were alive today I would wrap my arms around her and say "Thank You for raising a man!!"
Turn on music and tell the kids that they are each going to spend 15 minutes in their rooms picking up...or in the living room. Teach them how to do dishes and go spend some time with them doing them. The other night I was washing some big pots and my 13 yr old boy came over and picked up a towel and dried without me even asking. We talked and laughed and he told me about his day. One of those payback moments that melts a M.'s heart and makes you feel like you've done something right.
When chores aren't seen as drudgery then they are more inclined to chip in. We give an allowance for their set jobs and if they do more then they can earn some extra money. "Let's get chores done then head to the park" gives some incentive to get it done quickly.
As for my extra time. I do ZUMBA 3 times a week, walk with a friend one day and run with another friend another day. I take time each day to read a book,scriptures, or inspirational messages...this is usually about 20-30 minutes. In the spring and summer I spend a lot of time vegetable gardening and enjoying the sunshine. Summer is my favorite because I will even go swimming by myself and sit in the sun and just soak up some quiet time.
I talk to my kids(and hubby) about "my" life outside of my caregiving/mother/wife roles. I tell them about my run or ZUMBA class, I tell them things I heard throughout the day that made me laugh, I share the funny youtube videos on my Facebook wall. I talk to them about things I worry about but that I have faith that God will help me.
I tell them sorry when I make mistakes...shows them that parents don't know it all nor do we have it all together...we struggle too. My six year old will even ask me questions like, "How was your walk today mom?", "How did your dentist appt go mom?" Amazes me...6 flippin' years old. I never knew my mom was a woman with a life outside of making meals,doing laundry,canning peaches and care taking. I am enjoying getting to know my mom now that we are adults...cuz now she talks to me.
Something that is uber important is to show them that my relationship with their daddy is strong. He and I kiss and hold hands in front of them, talk to each other in front of them and if they interrupt I tell them that they need to give us time and I will get to them in a few minutes. We go on dates together often and away on trips alone together.
I think my answer is all over the map...and sooo lengthy. Hopefully you can glean from it what you needed to hear.
Good luck and best wishes!!