I feel my husband and I go though the motions and just exsit on a day to day basis. I want to reconnect but what do you do that is not expensive and helps you feel more like a husband and wife. We go out to eat but we have to find a babysitter and thats difficult and he works so much. I want to do something other than just go to dinner. I want to be a wife instead of just the baby momma. Does anyone have any suggestions or feel this way.
I have to second - sex! Good, dirty sex. Helps you remember how you got there in the first place!
Long baths, or share a bottle of wine while cuddling on the couch.
Doesn't have to be expensive or even going out.
Just take time and don't talk about the kids!
Do some small special things for him. Does he take his lunch to work with him? Put a sticky note in it that says: Made with love especially for you.
Hold his hand when you are riding in the car.
Buy one of those little wooden hand massager thingees, and give him a back massage. When you are sitting vegged out in front of the TV with the little ones underfoot, ask him to rub some lotion on your feet (they are tired!).
It doesn't have to be sexy or expensive. Just personal.
hth :)
Hi Mama~it sounds like you miss your hubby. :) Have you tried talking to him about how you're feeling? There's plenty you can do w/o spending any money. Maybe you two can schedule a time in the evening to watch a DVD movie together. Doing some favorite things together. Love notes?
I'm a mom of 4 children and my husband works and I usually stay home w/the kids and I'm going nuts being a stay at home mom! The only real adult conversation I get is when my husband calls me throughout the day to check up on us.
We usually try to do things that don't cost too much. Holding hands and taking a walk around the block or at the park. Taking a drive together..and that gives you some time to talk to each other again. Definitely let him know how your feeling and what you're thinking.
Every night, my husband and I get ready for bed together. Sometimes we shower together (which may or may not lead to sex as so many other ladies have suggested) or sometimes the other person just hangs out in the bathroom and we talk while one of us showers and the other brushes his or her teeth or whatever. It is guarenteed time every day with no kids whining, no dog needing to be walked, no household chores waiting to be done. We can talk about our days or current events or whatever and feel like a couple instead of just parents. Its one of my favorite parts of the day
Try acting like his girlfriend!! instead of his wife..... Think about all of the things that you used to do when you were just dating, and start doing them again. That is my best advice.
I will be interested in seeing the suggestions you get. I feel like this all the time! Sorry I don't have any advice to give, just know that you are not alone :) I think a lot of moms feel like this, but where there is a will there is a way, right? Good luck to you!
My SO and I were goingthrough a time like that untill the other day. He was in a car accident. Thankfully no one was hurt but it scared us both and strangly enough we are closer. In relationships you go through down times like that its pretty normal.
Sex : ) Nothing else will make you feel like less of a mom : )
Write him a "just because" note
Play a game together
Touch each other in some way, it makes a difference (hug, kiss, tickle, etc)
Have the kids run after both of you trying to catch you
Talk, talk, talk!
Cook/prepare a meal together
Here are some ideas (I should use them myself):
have a movie night at home after kids are in bed (make popcorn, too)
Play a game together that involves conversation (Moonjar has a "conversations to go" box that is fun. We play with the kids, too.
Can you come up with a hobby that you both like? Golf, art, or something?
Go for a walk together if you can find a way without kids.
I will be reading for more answers
I write him little love notes... even if we've been sitting next to each other on the couch all day doing nothing, I like to write sweet nothings in a card for him (or dirty little notes, whatever strikes my fancy!)... I can totally relate to how you feel. I also ask him if he wants a back rub (he always declines), so I ask if he wouldn't mind giving me one. Works about 50% of the time, LOL!! We also take baths together about once in a blue moon after the kids go to sleep. Even the simplest things can mean a lot. I ALWAYS hold my fiance's hand when we're watching t.v... it's my favorite. Just that little bit of touch helps remind me why I love him so much to begin with!! And all of this goes on after all the kiddos are in bed... the only time anything happens when the kids are awake, is if I grab him and give him a big fat kiss the second the kids turn their backs... I'm talking REAL big smooches... other than that, playful little smacks on the butt are fun too. Just the little things that still make me feel desirable, and not just a mom, maid, and room mate ;)
We made our own game like they have in the store with the dice that has things to do and places to do them to. We assigned each number on one dice a body part and the other one an action like licking, kissing, rubbing, blowing, etc. Roll the dice and pick the action/part from your list and do it. It doesn't necessarily have to be about sex. We also watch movies after the kids go to bed. We hold hands in the car. We put notes in lunch boxes. Hope this helps!
