What Do You Do Special for Yourself?

I TOTALLY understand how you feel.... It just seems like there's never any time to 'recharge' the batteries... or have a good social life as a Mom. You may want to join a local meet-up group where there is always something going on and there's usually a good enough crowd that a few cancellations won't cancel the plans.......... Or- you may want to see if there's some local class near you that gives you a chance to do something once a week... (Yoga.........exercise class...........cooking or crafts....)

Good luck... I completely understand...

Do something by yourself today, it's not so bad doing something by yourself. Go to a movie, get mani/pedi (it doesn't have to be expensive place either), take a book and go to a coffee shop and get coffee and a dessert. The point is to take the time for yourself with no kids or husband around. I think if you would just do something you would feel better.

Ug, yep.
But once years ago, I was at work and it was a coworkers birthday and I asked what she was doing after work. She said she was taking herself out on a date. I was like "WHAT???" (at 20, that was something I'd never thought of). She said "If you can't enjoy your own company, how can you expect anyone else to?" That has stuck with me alllllllllllll these years later!
And, I found out that I like some movies better when I'm watching them alone. When I find myself alone and nothing to do, I will purposely do something that I don't really get to do with anyone else. I'll take myself on a date, and love it!
I'll go eat at a restaurant I never go to because my husband, kids, or friends don't like it as much, I'll go to the bookstore and browse, relishing the fact that I DO NOT have to be aware of short attention spans around me. I'll pick up a poetry or travel book, or a magazine to think about a "dream vacation" or a makeover, and go through it while sipping coffee and eating a naughty treat in the bookstore's coffee shop. I'll hit a matinee to see a movie that is for adults, but one my husband wouldn't be thrilled to watch. That's always fun. Or, another day I may go for a massage and pedicure. Massages around here have lowered in price lately!!! I've been known to take my camera and just go for a drive. Pull over when I feel like it and take some photos, play with my camera, try to see things in a different way than just rushing past because I'm taking someone to preschool, karate, soccer, or awanas. It's nice to stop and really see things sometimes. Try your hand at writing, or take some time to read somewhere. Take a bubble bath, pamper yourself, and refuse to get out of your robe until you "have to". Sometimes I go to the library, or to the little old part of town where all the little shops are just to browse and shop. Start a conversation with a random stranger over something. Have a picnic and take a nap under a tree, or just spend some time thinking, reconnecting with yourself and what you would LIKE to do short term and long term. I like to visit botanical gardens, or stroll through a museum, or you can see what's going on in your community that you'd like to check out (like an art fair, a Bible study, a cooking class at one of the local shops, a play, whatever). Once, I even snuck off to a rollerskating rink to see if I could still do it (kind of, though not as long, fast, or graceful as I used to be, lol) and I caught myself just smiling to myself thinking about fun stuff from my youth. Sometimes I explore and find things that I can't wait to do again when I'm alone, sometimes I find things I want to bring the family to see or do on a weekend. Those are things I like to do at least. I'm always doing mom stuff / family stuff. On weekends we do family stuff and twice a month we do dates. I see friends at Bible study (and lunch after) every week and twice a month I go to a MOPS meeting and see some friends there. But I really look forward to my alone time too! I love "taking myself out".

Oh I feel your frustration. It's so hard to be disappointed when you really, really needed that time with your girlfriends. Take some time today and go get a mani/pedi or a haircut. I've also gone to the movies solo (it's really not the weirdest thing in the world lol) when I've unexpectedly found myself with free time and no one to spend it with, or go to the library and get a book and enjoy reading in peace. If the weather is nice where you live, go for a walk or a jog. Or if that's not your style and you have cable, do a yoga class from exercise TV. Maybe go window shopping at a store where you could never bring your kids (Crate and Barrel, Williams-Sonoma) and buy something cheap that you like but don't really need. I have the most ridiculous little individual salt cellars with mini spoons from C&B and they always make me smile when I put the dishes away because honestly, who need a thimble-size glass bowl with a one-inch long spoon? No one LOL but I bought them years ago anyway and they give me a chuckle. Hope you can get out of your funk and salvage the day!

Oh man! I am so with you! I had to go to the next town over to return a dress. I saw a show that was having a haircut special and decided to pop in. I got it all chopped off! (about 6-8 inches!) It's right above my shoulders and I feel like a new person!
I haven't ever done it, but I keep saying I will: I love to have someone else wash my hair! It's just one of those things that feels like such a luxury to me and doesn't cost as much as the coveted massage!
I guess I should really get down to business and do it for myself! I like the way the girls cut my hair the other day and I think I will have someone wash it and blow it out for me as I never take the time myself!
Just do whatever feels like pampering. Have someone do something for you that you either don't take the time for or you usually do it yourself!

I am a stay at home mom, who had to quit working because of a disability which made it nearly impossible to continue working. I still talk to several of my former coworkers and we will try to do lunch or something along those lines. The things I try to do for myself (by myself), are getting mani/pedicure and going to the hair dressers (that's IF I'm feeling well enough to go). No,these aren't major things, but I enjoy, or should I say "need" to get these things done for myself. If/when that happens again, get out of the house, pls don't stay home n sulk!! Even if u have to go to the mall by yourself, just getting out of the house w/o the kiddie will give u a little respite and you'll come home with a clear mind. Yeah, we all have those friends who cancel at the last minute, but try to understand that sometimes life gets in the way and try not to take it personal. As for your husband wanting you to call "his" friends, I wouldn't. My hubby has some female friends and we've gone out with them and their hubbies, but like you said, they're HIS friends. I don't care for them too much either, so I'd just rather not spend more time than I have to with them. I'm sure you've got other frie de or even family who'd love to spend time with you. you Probably haven't thought about y'all getting together because they're not your first choice of friends to hang with. I just reconnected with a friend I'd known since jr high, even though we don't have much in common, we r still able to keep in touch by texting or doing lunch. I don't know if this has helped at all, but you really need to think about your interests and what u enjoy doing. Don't get too down on yourself or your 2girlfriends, (unless this isn't the first time they've cancelled on you, then I'd reconsider making plans with them again).

Hey VM,

Your post made me a little sad. I know you were looking forward to spending some well deserved time with girlfriends but I was sad that your day/vacation was ruined when they backed out. Are there things that you cherish doing on your own that you could have salvaged the day by doing? Take in a movie, go shopping without the kiddos in tow, get your hair done, watch TV shows that you like to watch but are not appropriate for your children, window shop, browse the library, knit/crochet...

I was very happy to hear that your husband's attitude was supportive in that he tried to find you an alternative (even if it wasn't what you had in mind) rather than say 'too bad so sad I'm going out...'

Is it possible that you could make arrangements to meet your girlfriends for coffee or dessert after the kiddos go to bed one evening? I'm sure it would take a concerted effort but maybe if you made regular 'dates' with friends once or twice a month, when things don't work out it will not be as devestating.

Take care of yourself. If you don't know what makes you happy, find what 'it' is and do it on a regular basis. Find things that you can do by yourself because when you rely on others it can make things all the harder since life gets in the way.

Feed your soul because it will make you a happier mother, wife, and person.

I wish you all the best!

thankfully i get "Me time" every other weekend while my daughter is at her father's house, we don't have my fiance's kids, and my fiance is at work. its not a whole day but a decent portion. i use that time to sleep in when i can. i also try to catch up with friends on the phone during that day. When i have money and the energy to go out and do something i love going and getting a pedicure.

I totally understand your disappointment. the best thing i can reccomend is to pull yourself up out of bed, and head out of your house, on a walk, or even to the mall. go buy yourself a pair of jeans or a pretty dress. use this as a time to be VM not mommy or wife or anything, just VM. If you still want that night out, why not take it. grab a simple dinner then why not go to a bar? having all the guys hitting on you will lift your spirits too. :D

I totally know what you mean. I am very close to my sisters but we rarely 'go out'. One sister and mine's bday are only 2 weeks apart, so last November we picked a date to go out, just the two of us, for dinner then a little bar hopping (when's the last time we did that?!).

It snowed. It snowed and snowed and snowed. I was willing to go anyway, but she had farther to travel and didn't want to go.

I cried. I hadn't even realized how much I was looking forward to it until the moment it was clear it wasn't going to happen.

My guy (and kids) thought I was being a big baby. After all, just do it next week, right? BAHAWAHAHA! That was over a year ago and it still hasn't happened. We are both so busy with kids, husbands, jobs, etc, damn near IMPOSSIBLE to nail us all down on a date.

So yeah, I feel your pain.

To answer your question, that IS what I would like to do for myself (and my sisters), just soooo fleeting are the chances!

:)

Yes, I have been that disappointed. Every year my company does a 1-week shutdown around Christmas. I still send the kids to daycare and use that time as "me" time and an opportunity to get home projects done. Last year, my DH was going to take off a few days so that we could have some couples time during the day...maybe catch a movie or show or whatever. I look forward to this ALL year. Last year, a few weeks before Christmas, my babysitter decided that she would take the same week off. I wanted to sit down and cry. I had to completely change all of my plans to accomodate her vacation. I truly love my kids with all my heart, but I REALLY needed this time. We ended up doing family type activities, which was fun for sure. It just wasn't what I had in mind.

I want to know what to do to... Best I can figure, you just roll with the punches and do the best you can. One treat for me once or twice a year is a spa pedicure...

I do have a Gril's Night about every other month, there are 4 of us so we plan about a month ahead through e-mail say which dates/times work and pick the one that works for us all (we have been lucky to always find a date that works). Once a week up to the Girl's Night we send out little 'so excited' e-mails just as a reminder to each other then a day or two before hand we send several as we pick out a place to eat or meet up. Once I had to cancel due to being sick, we were all sad, and once another one of the girls had forgot and was getting together with her boyfriend. Of course we were disappionted, gave her a little hard time but then said have fun we will see you around later.

I think we get toegether at least every other month that we are less disappionted when someone cancels, plus since there are four of us if one can not make it there is still the three of us to have fun with. Since it is something we look forward to and do on a "schedule" we are less likely to forget about it.

Other things I do to pull myself up or renew myself is; massage.,haircut, mani or pedi or both, shopping for a new purse/jeans/shoes, bath w/bubbles, book and wine. In fact I really need a "me day" or at least a few hours so I will be getting me hair cut and a pedi next week.

I enjoy going to a play area with another mom. It is great to have someone to chat with and even if it is not a girls night out at least I am out with an adult. I try my best to look at the positive parts of whatever I am doing.

I think this sounds normal! You get all geared up and excited and both plans fall through..I'd cry too! I would tell my husband I was still going out this weekend and go alone! You can go shopping and actually take your time to try on clothes, go to dinner and a movie, or if it was me...I'd call my Mom and go out with her. You still need to take time for you even if your friends can't go!

I watch Days of our lives while my 2 yr old is napping and my 7month old is hanging out with me. I exercise at night when they are both in bed...that is my ME time