Just wanted to point something out to this response- "If I where you I would go through the system to have your son adopted by your husband, However I would not change the name of your child"- If the child is being adopted then the las name changes. "and I say that to say this If your son have any children they need to know where he came from(history) for medical reasons" - a last name is not related to medical history. My son has not seen his biological father since 1. He has no medical history from that side of the family. If he still had the last name, he still wouldn't have the medical history. That is something that you have or you don't have. A friend of mine went through the same situation and if she had not listen to me and kept her son bilogical name he would have not had his father's social security, and his estate when he died because of the last name change it would have been difficult to claim what was due to him when the time came"- If the parents righs are terminated then they do not get social sercuity from that parent at all. The birth certificate is changed and there is no legal connection to the child at all. No matter what their name is.
Sorry to pick at your post but I just wanted to clear those up.
To the poster- my son was adopted by my husband when my son was 3. He had not seen his father since he was 1. I was getting child support at the time, but I asked him if he would sign the papers and lucky for me he said yes. According to our attorney, had he said no, then it would not be hard to fight. But you will need an attorney. Good luck.