My husband adopted my daughter last year. I initially went to a lawyer for a legal name change and she encouraged me to discuss adoption with my daughter to see if she wanted to be adopted by my hudnad- she was 12 at the time, my husband had been with her since she was 3. She chose adoption. It meant a lot to her to truly belong. The bio father's name was not on the birth certificate, but I had to name him in the petition for adoption and he had to be served with papers and given the opportunity to relinquish rights, or not. Long story short, he did not want to relinquish rights, nor did he want to take care of my daughter. We set court dates with our attorney sitting there at $500/hr and he wouldn't show. Because he was so unreasonable, the process was long, costly, and frustrating. In the end, we were happy we did it, because we never have to worry about him popping up out of the blue. Financially, I'm not sure it is widely known, but the government refunds 100% of legal costs for adoption up to $10,000, so that was pretty cool. Good luck to you.