What Can I Send When a Friend's Baby Dies?

as a mother, the best thing you can do for this woman is listen, bring her some high end coffee from starbucks, take out a loan if you have to, and some nice brownies and just let her talk,
K. h.

http://www.athealth.com/consumer/disorders/parentalgrief....

This is an interesting article.
Maybe an idea will come from it.

Hi KW, Please let her know about us - www.emptycradle.org. Our number is ###-###-####. She can call and leave a msg and one of our support volunters will call her back. We have support group meetings in San Diego/Temecula but we can provide phone and/or online support to people out of the area who have suffered the loss of their baby. We also have a Facebook page that is very active and she can find alot of support there as well.
I agree 100% on the 'no plants'. Same goes for flowers. Plants and flowers die and it's just a cruel reminder. Pretty much all of our members share the same sentiment. A card with a personal message of condolences is perfect at this stage of their grieving. Please tell her and her husband that they are NOT ALONE and that there is a whole network of families that are here to help them to navigate through the grieving process when/if they are ready. We also have a TON of literature resources available with more details if you or they would like any info just message me. I hope this helps. How kind you are to reach out to them. They are in shock right now and it will help them immensely to know that people care.

All the plants I received after my 3 year old son died (I got ALOT) are still at my mom's house. I do not want them. They are a horrid reminder. I would send a card and money. Even if it's only $5 or $10. I got so much comfort everyday when I would check my mail and see cards. I also benefited so much from the money because I couldn't cook for myself for months.

A friend of mine had a similar experience. We had a tree planted in our favorite childhood park in her memory. It's there if she wants to remember, but she can avoid the spot when she's not feeling up to it. In my experience, most parents consider their lost child one of their babies, it's not something they want to "put behind them". You honor her babies memory by giving her something lasting.

When my son passed away one of the nicest gifts I received was a flower arrangement made of fruit. http://www.ediblearrangements.com/
I have since sent meals from Omaha Steaks that have always been well received. I had no energy to even think of what to eat let alone prepare a meal so even a gift card to a restaurant is nice.
You could also consider sending the book "Empty Cradle, Broken Heart" which deals with miscarriage, still birth and early infant death.
Also, I think a sympathy card is more appropriate to send. Receiving a card saying thinking of you, while kind, may make me think that the card giver did not grasp the enormity of the loss. The fact is her full term baby died. Would you send a Thinking of you card if someones sibling, parent or spouse passed away? (When someones child passes away, I always buy a sympathy card and 2 "Thinking of You" cards. One for the first Mother's Day and one for the 1st year anniversary.).

This is terrible and awkward. I would suggest sending a donation to March of Dimes (or another appropriate organization, maybe even the local children's hospital) in the baby's or family's name. Then send a card and say in the card that you made a donation in their name to X organization. If your husband is a close friend then I would also send dinner or at least maybe buy a gift card for Panera or something so they can get dinner when they need it.

The grief will be there forever and they will NEVER forget what happened........A plant may be something they would appreciate. Especially if it can be replanted like a tree. Just my two cents......

I lost my first pregnancy to miscarriage and honestly,I just needed someone to be there. My husband did the best he could, but he processed the loss in a different way than I did and I resented him for that. It was nice to have an online support group to turn to and have ladies who had been there to talk to because they "got it". Just be there for them in any way you can and avoid cliche phrases and trying to get them to see "the reason."

Because they were so close to the due date, she is also recovering physically. Maybe you could send a meal or a gift certificate for take out. You may also be able to offer your services in the cleaning department or in helping them with any other children they may have. Sometimes people really just want some help or support instead of a gift.

May you be blessed for thinking of them in their time of grief and may they find peace and comfort in your thoughtfulness. Blessings to all.

Definitely a card, and a donation in their name is nice as well. I would also send a meal. My family strongly believes in sending food to the family as they are unlikely to think of wanting to cook. And if there is food readily available for them, they are more likely to eat and keep up their strength.
What a horrible time for them.
And maybe send her a giftcard, for somewhere she could get some things for herself. Bubble bath, or lotions. Just a thought. I can't imagine the grief they are going through.

I would send a card and a donation to the funeral costs. When my sister's son died, nothing could make it feel any better and it was months before she wanted a tree planted.

When this happened to a friend...We purchased two gold hearts and three necklaces (one was sized appropriately for the child). The first heart was inscribed with something like...Mommy and Daddy loves you. It was placed around the child's neck during the funeral service. The other heart was cut in half and had the child's name and birth date on each half and then on the flip side had Mommy and then Daddy. Each parent received the half heart on a chain.

This is so sad =(

I don't think there is an appropriate gift for a baby passing... Can you offer to bring her a dinner so she has a night off from the kitchen? Flowers?

So sad =(

I would suggest that you just send a card. If you don't know her it's hard to know how to handle the situation. In my experience sending a "Thinking of You" card is better received than a sympathy card. Just send the card and let your husband offer or ask if anything else would be appreciated, if he is better friends with the gentleman.

You are right about the plant. I was given I can't tell you how many plants when my dad died. I "forgot" to water them eventually and thankfully died soon. It was to much to look at them.
I would send a card and whatever you could on a visa gift card to help with costs of bills and whatnot.

When this happened to a friend of mine, I sent a check. She wanted to
do something special to remember her son. I knew she was getting a
bench at the park with a butterfly to remember him. That is why the check.
Ordinarily I would never send a check.

I would send her a beautiful note and then bring dinner, babysit etc. for her.
Do not ask just, just do for her.

Whatever you do don't say anything. People inadvertently say the dumbest things. My friend's 7 year old died suddenly in the middle of the night. People asked her if she had given him the cough syrup that was on that list of ones not to give kids. I mean, she got everything! I simply hugged her and told her that I wasnt going to say a thing, because there is nothing I could say that would make any of this better, so I kept my mouth shut and offered hugs. She appreciated that so much. Just send a card to tell her that she is in your thoughts.

Hello, If your husband would like to send a card to his friend and the friend's wife for the loss of their baby, then I would go with that. It is a terrible loss. I would write a note in the card expressing our sadness over the loss of their precious child and mention that you are there if they need to talk. Then if you would like to cook a meal or make a donation in their name to a children's program that would be nice.
K. K.

I see you have your answer. I just wanted to mention anyway that a plant would be good, too. The parents will remember that baby forever anyway, and having a gift that reminds them and others of him or her would be honoring their baby, not hurting them more.

That breaks my heart. So sorry for your friends. What about a special remembrance necklace for the mother with a loving note? The necklaces can be personalized with the birthstone of the baby.

http://www.labelledame.com/miscarriage-infant-loss.html

a card. a phone call. a plant....probably not such a great idea.