We're Jewish, so we don't have the Christmas hoopla (although we have quite a few relatives who get gifts from us). Still, I enjoy Christmas music and cookies and lights - we've often gone out to look at some of the particularly crazy houses of lights, and enjoyed every minute of it. I hate the commercialism - the constant push to buy gifts, and even to give up Thanksgiving to go shopping (because, after 3 minutes of being grateful for what you have, you need a big day and then many weeks to go get more than you DON'T have!) I hate that the decorations come out in September - with the exception of craft and fabric stores because I know that crafters have to work way ahead. I may be one of the few people who really likes wrapping gifts too.
For Chanukah, we try very hard to keep the gift-giving small and meaningful, and we always incorporate charity/social justice into our routine. I just LOVE making special foods and having family/friends around. We have a bunch of menorahs and we always light about 5 of them in the front window - it's glorious to see the light increase with each successive night.
I think a lot of times we (women, mostly) beat ourselves up about how much "needs" to be done - from decor to cooking to purchasing. I think we need to lighten up and do what is meaningful to US, and involve the rest of the family in taking ownership of their own special traditions.
I also try to be aware of how many people don't celebrate Christmas - I know there's a lot of "war on Christmas" talk and I'm just sick of it. There are plenty of religions with winter holidays of light and plenty of people who are atheist and don't celebrate any of them - I think we can be a lot more open and accepting without being so afraid that our own religion is getting short shrift. Maybe that comes from being in the 1% Jewish minority but I think a lot of good people can (and do) take the time to be nicer and less possessive or whatever you want to call it.
I do try to shop all year, and I have a spot on my closet shelf where I keep things I've accumulated. I use post-it notes because I know I'll forget at least one intended recipient of a gift I thought was a great idea in July and now I can't remember!
I've cut back my gift-giving - relatives who never, ever write a thank you note or even acknowledge that gifts have been received are now off my list. That includes kids 10 and up. I have one relative (a mom of 2) who insists that she has no stamps because she pays her bills on line, or she has no thank you notes. I'm still waiting for acknowledgement of gifts from 5 years ago when she said "X is doing his thank you notes next weekend" and then I never hear anything. If there were a phone call or an email, that would be fine - but there isn't. And since we never get a card or gift, on holidays or birthdays or anything, I choose not to stress them out anymore by giving them anything! I would make the exception for babies of course or an elderly person who just can't write or remember to put a letter in the mail.
I also make a list of the people who have tough jobs and get taken for granted - the letter carrier, the newspaper delivery person, the garbage collector, the woman who's helping in the town recycling center, the Fed Ex and UPS drivers -- they all work in all kinds of weather and with a lot of lifting/hauling/driving. I set aside some money all year long to help out with either gift or gift cards (depending on how well I know them and what they like). I usually make a small cranberry bread or other baked item in a decorative pan to give to each of them. If I'm out for lunch, I give an extra tip to the server - if we each gave $1 or $2 more, we wouldn't notice it, but that below-minimum-wage waitress will!
I also have shifted away from certain stores - if they opened on Thanksgiving or otherwise required their employees to be at work at 2 AM on Black Friday, I no longer shop there. I'm shopping almost entirely with small businesses and artists and free-trade organizations - it might be a few dollars more, but that money goes into families' pockets and into the economy, not into some billionaire's offshore account or slave labor overseas. It's just a little bit, but if we all did it, you know....
I also am much more restrained about charities - I don't give to those who spend all the donations on multiple mailings during the year, who don't serve certain members of the population (like the Salvation Army's exclusion of gays), or even worthy charities who just aren't as high on my list as other causes. I investigate carefully and I brush off those with confusing names designed to make them look legitimate. I think the constant barrage of fundraising during the fall is very stressful, and I choose to not let it get to me and I don't feel guilty!
Otherwise, I try to be observant of who is stressed and struggling - I hold more doors for people, let more cars cut in front of me, move the abandoned shopping cart out of the handicapped space, try to look the hassled cashier in the eye, stuff like that. I figure every little bit of humanity helps me be less sucked into the crassness, and it might make somebody's day. It helps me slow down - and that's good for my head and my blood pressure.
Wishing all of you a calm and rewarding holiday season, whatever your traditions!
