My tips for Black Friday:
1-Don't leave the house. Driving is dangerous, as the many soccer moms are bargain shopping online while driving mini vans at dangerous MPH. Driving to the mall... well, hope you have a will written out, you're going to die.
2- Since you're home, shop online. Make some cookies with the kids first; they'll crash hard from the sugar buzz, so you can focus on shopping online.
3- Use your husband's credit card for your online purchases, specifically one's you're making for yourself that you have no intention of saving for Christmas... let's face it, you NEED those new boots before then.
4- Periodically call and check on family members who were stupid enough to venture out on Black Friday. Bonus points if you pre-programmed emergency services in everyone's phones.
5- Have a drink, sit back, and watch the 5 o'clock news for casualties.
6- The next day, scan the obituaries to see if anyone you cared for was sacrificed on Black Friday... more bonus points if they already bought your gift and scheduled it for delivery.
7- Say a prayer and begin preparing for next year's Black Friday... the hype starts in only 7 more months!!
;)