What Am I Supposed to Do

I would maybe talk to them. Let them meet the noisemaker lol. They will probably fall in love. Apologize for baby living the life of a one year old. Not in this lifetime!!! Some people have nothing better to do with their time.

We are in a co op. Our downstairs neighbor used to bang on his ceiling/our floor. My husband confronted him and said that his banging constituted harassment that hubs would report to the board, management company and police. It stopped immediately.

Good luck to you.
F. B.

The downstairs apartment always hears more than the upstairs apartment.

Have you knocked on their door and introduced yourself? You might say, with a big smile on your face, "Hi, I'm ____ from upstairs, apartment #215. I sometimes hear some banging and I wonder if you're trying to give me a message or if there's a problem?" Wait for an answer and don't have a snappy response like, "You're not perfect neighbors either." If they say they hear noise in the afternoon, sympathize. Say something like, "I know, these walls and floors and ceilings aren't very well soundproofed, are they? I hear door slamming from neighboring apartments, and I often hear yelling if someone is calling from one room to another. Do you have any suggestions?" Listen to what they say. Then you can say, "I'm sure it's not easy living underneath a 1 year old, and I am sorry. I'm not sure what to do about it since I can't strap her into a high chair all afternoon. I wonder if there's a better way, though, than the banging, because that actually frightens my daughter and gets her more agitated and active. And actually, she hears you calling to each other and that alarms her since she's too little to understand. What can we do to compromise?"

If you can, take a small gift as a gesture - do you bake cornbread or make candy or make your own candles? Anything small would be a nicety.

It's tough living in a rental when there are kids involved.
Neighbors are not always understanding - some are complete jerks.
Eventually your child will get use to the banging and ignore it.
Ask your apartment management about noise rules - most will have something like no loud music from 10pm to 8am or something like that.
Outside of those hours, your kid should be able to play more or less as she pleases - she's a baby - babies make noise.
It might be worth it to see about moving away from these neighbors when you get a chance.

"Its not like it's super early or super late". That depends on the person - some people think 8 a.m. is super early and others would think that to be late morning. Don't assume that your waking hours match yours or your child's. Also, to compare their noise to your noise isn't fair. They are two separate issues. You cannot use the excuse "well, they make noise and I don't say anything, which means I or my child can make noise." I do agree that the banging is inappropriate. However, that's the breaks of renting - you do not get to choose your neighbors (actually, that is often the breaks of homeownership, too).

I would get out the lease and figure out if you are in compliance with "quiet enjoyment hours." Some leases state basically a no noise policy during certain hours. Second, why not approach the neighbors with an apology? I've lived below running kids in an apartment - it sounded like a herd of thundering elephants that are about ready to come through my ceiling. It was extremely annoying and disruptive. Way more so than an occasional door slam or a bit of yelling. Ask if they would be willing to work with you on lowering the noise for them - is it interfering with their work schedule or other quality time? Maybe ask to stand in their apartment so you can hear it for yourself. Is your child wearing shoes in the house or would being stocking footed or slippers with non-slips on the bottom help? Is the floors hardwood or carpet? Would adding a couple of rugs help?

You can catch more flies with honey than with vinegar :) Good luck!

I would not live in fear. I would let the manager know that when another apartment comes available, downstairs, I would like to move.

I know that upstairs apartments are safer but overall your child needs to be able to run and live. I would be happy to move away from the people below you.

Shu, welcome to mamapedia.

First off - "normal hours" are YOUR normal hours. What if this person is a shift worker and trying to sleep before his/her shift? Did you stop to think about that?

If it's "normal hours"? Why not take your son to the park and let him get his energy out? You're obviously home with him.

have you EVER bothered to introduce yourself to your neighbors? Try to get to know them and understand what they hear? You might be surprised at what they hear from your apartment.

If they are doing it when your boyfriend isn't home? VERY interesting. What does your boyfriend think of this?

You have two choices, ignore them or go down and talk with them.

Why not talk to the main office and tell them the problems you are having and see if there is a code about them damaging the apartment with their banging?

This is apartment living. If they want quiet? They should move to a no-kid apartment complex.

I would also state that your feeling that "normal" hours of 1 to 5 may be a problem for them. Tyler was a shift worker. That's when he would be sleeping. Please don't assume that 1 to 5 is "normal".

You say your issue is that you would prefer they come up to talk to you - instead of banging.

I get how that would be annoying, but would you really rather they came upstairs every time and instead banged on your door? They are not going to bother.

They could be total jerks and be overly sensitive. Some people are really intolerant to noise. They might work odd hours, etc. Who knows.

If it were me - I would go down and talk to them if you feel ok doing that. Then I would talk to the manager of the complex or landlord, and see what can be done.

I too would not want to live waiting for that bang bang. That would be stressful with a little one. I hear you. I would see if I could move to another apartment (if you like the complex) when one becomes available. The other thing I'd do - is put down rugs (with pads so they don't slip). That can be very helpful in reducing noise.

Hope you get it resolved.

We have carpet but it doesn't help much because the still constantly bang.when I say I would have rather they talk to me because I wasn't aware that there was an issue because there wasn't until a month ago and they just started banging out of nowhere.my baby doesn't do anything out of the ordinary either but she does run occasionally and that's when she's "loud" it's always in the afternoon. But I never said if they make noise I can't make noise I'm meant that why should I have to apologize because my baby wants to dance at 2 pm but its perfectly okay for them to be arguing with neighbors and such at 2 am?... Moving as of right now isn't a option but I will talk to the manager.

Updated

I didn't say anything about NORMAL hour I said REASONABLE and those are actually listed in my lease that noise that is considered every living is fine after 10 is when they actually have a right to bang but she's in bed by then. In any case my boyfriend has tried to speak with them but they don't answer the door so he's starting to believe they wait for him to leave which is is kind of scary because that means they are watching his car. But that all besides the point I considered all of there possible issues how ever it gives nobody the right to PURPOSELY try and disrupt my child everyday life. The opportunity was given for a talk and it was ignored.

Do you have any rugs on the floors? If you have hard floors, putting down a throw rug across the middle of the room can make a big difference.

When I used to live in an apartment, I got annoyed when the people upstairs were loud between midnight and 7 AM. Otherwise, I agree with you that noise from neighbors is part of apartment living. If they don't like it, they should move to an apartment complex with better soundproofing (good luck finding one of those).

ETA: I agree that a heads-up to the complex manager is in order since it appears that they may be getting more aggressive/weird (banging more often, not answering the door, avoiding your BF). It's better for you to have something on-record with management now, in case it escalates later.

I'd try talking to your neighbors. You say they haven't come to speak to you, but have you tried approaching them? Just say something like "hey, it's me, your upstairs neighbor. It seems like we're both having some problems with noise, and I wondered if we can talk it over." Ask them why the afternoon time is tough for them (maybe they work overnight). And if they expect perfect silence between one and five in the afternoon, that's pretty unreasonable. Your apartment lease should specify what times are quiet hours (usually after 10 pm and prior to 7 am, for example). If a baby is toddling around an apartment, unless that baby is knocking over chairs, that's a pretty reasonable noise to expect in an apartment. If the neighbors constantly bang on their ceiling/your floor in the middle of the afternoon, that could potentially be a violation of your right to enjoy your apartment, and that's something for management to handle.

If you do have approach the management, get documentation. Video your child running and get good sound quality of the resulting banging from the neighbors. Keep track of how often it happens.

I live in a middle apartment. I had my downstairs neighbors come up to my door and yell at me and my kids to be quiet. Umm...it was 3pm. Kids make noise.
So I went to the office and asked them about it. I told them my kids were running around, playing, and asked if I needed to get on them about it. They told me that kids and pets make noise. As long as they are not doing it during quiet hours that I had nothing to worry about. So I went home and read my lease. Quiet hours are 10pm-8am. My kids never make noise at that time.
Next time they came up I told them about the lease, that I had gone to the office,and that I didn't want them banging on my door again.
Haven't seen them since. We don't even acknowledge each other. Works for me.
I have had some pretty insane neighbors about me. Kids running around at 1am, I swear to god they were bowling!
If I were you I would go to the office first and ask them about their noise policy. If you are in compliance (quiet during quiet time and living the rest of the time) then I would go downstairs, show them the lease, and tell them that if they continue to bang on the ceiling YOU will make a noise complaint against THEM.

why did you even bother asking a question here if you only wanted to hear our own voice? Hmmm.... maybe your situation isn't as one sided as you'd like it to seem if your own opinion is the only one that matters to you...

Ignore them. Kids will be kids and should be allowed to play, and since you are not letting her run around during normal quiet hours the neighbors will just have to learn to deal. I had a similar situation with my neighbors in our duplex, they said the kids were too noisy while playing outside because they worked nights and slept during the day, I told them point blank that I was not going to tell my kids that they could not play during the daytime and that if they were bothered by the noise they needed to invest in some good earplugs.

I think running in an apartment complex is behavior that can be discouraged. She's one, so it will be a challenge, of course. But I would take her outside to run and play as often as possible when she's full of energy, and keep sending the message "indoor play" vs. "outdoor play" Then yes, I'd probably just ignore your neighbors, because they kinda sound like hot heads