Noise Issues in Apartment

They are being unrealistic & you have done more than enough compromises for them. I would tell them to wear earplugs or move to a building that has no children or pets.

We lived on the top floor of a 3-flat and our neighbors below us always wanted to have band practice from like 10:00 pm until all hours of the night. Not cool. We talked to them first and got no results. We wound up calling the landlord. When the landlord did nothing, we called police. Fortunately we were going to be closing on our condo in 2 months once it got really bad so we just toughed it out til we left.

If they have a problem with the noise, they should take it up with the landlord and not with you. Just because they're unemployed and 'slackers' does not mean that they aren't granted the same privilege of enjoying their dwelling at a reasonable sound level. What if they had an actual job and worked second or third shift and slept during the morning; would that change your opinion on how they felt about the sound?

If you're having this big of a problem with their disrespect, then you basically have three choices: have your husband talk with his friend and try to iron things out, set up a meeting between the downstairs residents and the landlord, or start looking for another place.

My husband is on the condo board of our building and we know the ins and outs of all association rules and regulations. First off, all buildings have quiets hours, meaning you can not move furniture blast TV or blast stereo, or let your children run around and bang on the floor. Usually these quiet hours are from 9-10PM -8AM. It sounds like your daughter is sleeping through those times. Now during the day after 8 or 9 AM, all units have fair game to do whatever they want. You are allowed to move furniture listen to your stereo or TV and a reasonable level, and your kids can run around all they want. Unless the building has a no children rule, your kids have the right to be kids during the day. The problem sounds like they are lazy and depressed and out of work. They probably want to sleep all day and do nothing and the movement above them is driving them crazy. How are they able to live, did they put away a lot of money, or do they come from money and the parents are funding their lazy days? You are completely right and you need to discuss whether or not these so called “friends” should be allowed to live in the building. It sounds like they are harassing you and they could get in trouble for that. I wish you luck and keep updated.

sounds like they are the ones with a problem! Is it possible to discuss the issue with your landlord? Just to be a bit proactive. Let them know that it is just normal walking around stuff, not excessive noise.

If they don't like hearing normal noises from people living above them, then they should move. I would contact the landlord and explain what they are complaining about and that there is not a whole lot you can do to keep a toddler from walking. I'm sure he'll see it your way. And if these people keep harrasing you I'd call the cops. Or tell them to call the cops next time they think your being to loud, instead of banging on the walls! Something tells me they wouldn't bother...cops aren't gonna tell you to keep your toddler still.
People can be so ridiculous!

They are being unrealistic, and you have my sympathy. I just had an unpleasant discussion with my downstairs neighbor about the same thing last month (I live in a 4-unit condo building). I don't have any great advice for you, only the recommendation that you nicely and sincerely explain to them that you are doing your best to keep the noise to a minimum, but short of taking all of your child's toys away (which is ridiculous, and of course you would never do anyway!) and carrying her at all times (also ridiculous), there will unfortunately be noise, which is a major pitfall of living beneath another family. Believe me, your daughter will get much noisier as she progresses into toddlerhood! I am guessing that your neighbors don't have kids? Not that people who have children will necessarily be more understanding - my jerk of a neighbor has three young children of her own, but has them living overseas with their grandparents to save money (mind you, she and her husband are professionals who could well afford to have their kids here with them...).
If they start calling the police on you, it's likely that they'll be told to take it up with the landlord and/or move. As others have recommended to you, it's probably a good idea to be proactive and have a talk with the landlord about this before things escalate.
Good luck to you!

Until I was 16, I grew up in a huge building in a third floor apartment, with my parents and sisters. My children, growing up in a home, have no idea how good they have it and I'm happy for that. Yes, as a young child, I can still remember the broom handle banging on our floor from the second floor cranky neighbor, I remember the nasty phone calls made to my parents. None were from the landlord. I still tip-toe through my home - I'm a creature of habit. I'm blessed that I don't have children who have to tip-toe but I've grown up to be a bit noise sensitive, myself.

Yes, toddlers make a lot of noise and you live in an apartment that you don't own. That's the fact. The other fact is that your neighbors can and WILL make your life miserable. Depending on when the building was built may depend on how much the noise will carry. Sounds like you are doing a good job with floor padding. However, I would just make sure her play area would be in an area that could cause them the least amount of discomfort, should you plan on staying there for a while. During reasonable hours, don't cringe when your daughter is enjoying life and being a kid - however, you will still have to remind her that there are others, downstairs, should she stomp or throw a temper tantrum or continue any loud, repetitive play. Yes... drum set for a child in an apartment - I would hold off on that.

Living in an apartment can be a constant push-pull. Living on a second floor with a toddler can be very challenging. Noise level should be respectful for all parties. Repeated loud noise any time of the day, should be curtailed, especially during evening/night hours. It's not unreasonable to expect your neighbors to accept your loud days, like an occasional party. You really may have no idea how loud your daughter's noise carries. And...true... your neighbors may be being unrealistic, they may be wrong and you may be right, however, it doesn't mean that they won't make your life miserable - they may even make this their goal.

I'm sad for you. It's hard living in a place where you and your neighbors aren't peaceful. No more - tit for tat....You can't assume that they are the wrong ones because they complained. You must work to resolve this issue and come up with some kind of realistic game plan - understanding that there has to be some flexibility on both parts. Even giving your landlord a heads-up that this concern has been brought up. However, the landlord doesn't live there so... hearing it from you may be a better option or it could backfire. Especially since it sounds like they don't have children. Any pets?

If this doesn't work, take advantage of the date that your lease is expiring and start looking for a new place to live - or pray that they will move, first.

Good luck.

I would contact the landlord of the building and explain your side. I understand that you may believe the noise is not loud. I unfortunately am on the other side and have people on the first floor of an apartment (I'm on the third) and the kids jump, and pound around until 1am and sounds like it's coming from above me. So I understand that the noise can be unbearable. If it is only a 2 flat and you can prove to the landlord that your child is not as loud as the people claim, maybe they can converse so you can be kept out of it. Apartments can be a good thing for those of us who cannot buy a house, but on the flip side of the coin, they are horrible for trying to keep kids quiet. I know I had 3 and they all grew up in various apartments. I had to constantly tell them that there are others in the building and they need to walk, talk quietly and not bang around. It was a battle, but they learned by example. Good luck with yours.

Dear M. O,

I just recently moved out of an apartment because of this issue. I had lived on the top floor for 2 years and the first year the neighbors didn't say anything. Then they moved out and new neighbors moved in, which I happened to grow up with the guy. I knew that our policy said no disturbing the neighbors before 6 am and no later than 10pm. Unfortunatly they worked nights and I do daycare in the day. They would complain if the kids walked to heavy or rocked in the rocking chair. It got to the point that they called the cops and the cops had a talk to both of us and explained to us about the rules in our lease. I also explained to them that I didn't come down screaming and complaining when there music was blaring at 1 am. Or they wouldn't get up when there alarm clock went off. I also asked them to sleep in the bedroom rather than in the living room. They did go to the landlord and complain about me. They were told that they should talk to me and work out a schedule that my kids could play when ever. Needless to say they moved out before we did. Another thing if they didn't want to hear the noise then why are they living on the bottom level. It sounds like you may end up losing a friendship over this. I would ask your husband if he would go with you to talk to them and explain that she is only being a kid and that you do try to keep her quite and give the example of her not playing the drums. Good luck.
B.

Check your lease. A lot of times apartment leases have "quiet hours" written in to them. It's been a while, but I think ours in our last apartment were 10-6 or something like that. It sounds like your daughter is on a regular schedule, and her play times should fit within any "quiet hours", so I wouldn't worry about it. He can't really complain to your landlord if you're working within the parameters of your lease. If there's nothing in your lease, check your local ordinances for "quiet" hours. Again, there's usually a guideline in the books for when people call in complaints about "disturbing the peace", and your daughter should fall well within the appropriate times to be making those types of noises. If a landscaper can cut grass at 7am, then your daughter can definitely play at 9!

Your husband needs to remind the downstairs DWELLERS that they knew you had a child before the descided to move in. There will always be sounds from children. It's good that you don't give her the drums. What evil person gave her that? You have to wonder what they were thinking when you're in rental property. If the they continue complaining, call the landlord and tell him that they are harrassing you and he should give them a call. He knows you're the responsible parents and the child is not making noise after hours when working people are home. The fact that they lay on their backs all day is not your problem. They need to get off their lazy butts and help the economy by stopping living off it! They are not the type of people you want to be friends with so good riddens to bad rubbage.

Children should always have the freedom of being children which includes the things that you described in your remarks. If you are mindful of your neighbors during the eveing hours that is respectful. They cannot expect your child to walk around on tip toes. Be mindful that you do not put stress on your baby by not letting her play or do what babies do. The neighbors are being unreasonable and there is something else bothering them besides your child.

Wow, I feel for you. Let them go to the landlord & he can get a good laugh. Everyone has the right to live in peace. Noise at 8 AM, might be a bother to them, but 11 AM is ridiculous. Maybe, if the friendship is worth saving, you can try to comprimise, by putting your child to bed a bit earlier, so she'll sleep later? And tell the friends that is what you're planning to do, so thsy'll know that at least, you're trying.
The best of luck to you!

Hi M. O,

Wow, I think it's time for your downstairs neighbors to find a new apartment! Too bad you can't swap and you live on the first floor. It's only going to get worse as your daughter gets older and you're right, you can't stop her from playing. I am soooooo glad my family lives on the first floor. Its so much less stressful than worrying about how much noise my kids are making. Perhaps you're better off moving to a first floor apartment? It's a drastic measure, but it's going to continue to be an issue.

As long as you are following the city noise laws of 8am and 10 pm they can't say anything. Been there before so I understand your frustration. We finally rented a house to avoid all that noise stuff! Good luck!

Hey M. O,

I am dealing with a similar issue. I live in a condo above someone else. I have a six year old daughter and I am employed outside the home and both of us leave everyday at 5:40AM and are not home until 6:20PM or so. The couple underneath are a relatively young couple and have a small child about one year old. I have had the police called on me at least six times in the past year for just doing normal household things like laundry, vacuuming, my daughter playing with her dolls etc. We are in bed no later than 9:30PM. The young woman stays at home all day with their child and her husband goes to work, I guess. I believe that people who live underneath someone should expect to hear some noise. I live in a new subdivision and contractors are not using materials that were used for homes that were built 50 years ago. There is no such thing as soundproof when living in an apartment, condo or any multi-unit dwelling. I think that people are ridiculously unrealistic with their expectations. If he wants complete quiet then he needs to get a job and purchase a single family home. You may want to contact the local police department for the noise ordinance and even that can be tricky. Good luck!

First of all, the lifestyle of your neighbors is none of your beeswax. I don't say that to defend them in any way --'cause they're unrealistic IMNSHO -- I point it out because it's going to jeopardize your ability to deal with the situation rationally. One of you two has to act like the grownup...and since your neighbors obviously aren't willing, you know what that means:^)

That being said, my best advice is to not cave AT ALL on the issue. It is a slippery slope from normal toddler noise to tiptoeing around on padded carpets all the time - and if you and your husband don't stand your ground, that's where you're headed. Your family isn't doing anything wrong, so please keep that in mind when dealing with your neighbors.

Our situation: A young single fellow moved from one unit in our building into the one right below mine. We do our best to keep our daughter's noise down to a dull roar - especially on the weekend AM's - but guess what? He moved under us with his eyes wide open, so he knew there was going to be a certain level of age-appropriate noise on her part. Likewise, we have a white noise machine in the room where the kiddo sleeps for when he's playing video games with his friends past her bedtime. His last GF wasn't so forgiving (what is up with the broom thing?!), but since she never came upstairs to speak with us like a normal human being, I didn't pay attention to her.

good luck...life in the big city has its challenges!

They sound completely rude to me. That is your home, and actually, it IS a playground for your child, and should be. I think you are being completely reasonable in your perspective on this. Unfortunately, I have no good responses, except don't apologize unless you actually should, and just keep explaining to them the facts as you have in this e-mail, in a reasonable way. They will either have to learn to live with it, or they can move.

I don't think your child moving about in her own home is anyting for neighbors to complain about. You shouldn't worry about it and they should be grateful that you are as consciencous about the noise as you are. They sound like people that would complain no matter what was going on in the apartment above them. If they bring it up again a simple "I understand" would suffice - you don't even need to apologize!

They just need to get over it, that is one of the "joys" of living on the bottom floor of a flat. We used to jokingly call our neighbors "the elephants upstairs" and they weren't doing anything other than walking around like normal people (we never complained to them or the landlord - what are they going to do, not walk?) She is sleeping during hours that are "quiet hours" so I don't think they have anything to complain about, you are not being disrespectful by letting your child be a child.

Most people that live on the lower level will realize that they will hear walking, etc. When I was in college in a dorm where I could the squeeking of the bed above, if you know what I mean. I have managed properties and usually the problem would move. How are they paying rent? Two wrongs do not make a right, but they are not real friends. I would not let them drive you crazy. Tell them to turn up the tv or the radio so they can not hear or offer to buy them ear plugs. Kidding! Your child development is most important. Talk to your landlord of how they are harrassing you. If they are not paying or behind in rent and you are paying on time, the landlord will get on them. Landlords do not want to loose GOOD tenants. They do not want to find out last minute that there is a problem. Hang in there and wish on them that someday they get the pleasure of raising a child so they might understand. Remember you do not have to answer your door to talk to them and call the landlord if that becomes a problem.

We are in a ap. complex of 12 units. Our problem is the opposite. Even though my kids who are now 20mnts and 2(3 in july) do get loud on occasion the people who live above and below us also have school age children and young grandchildren. I have asked if the kids ever bother the girl below us and she says she hardly ever hears them and likewise for us. Our problem is the rest of the complex and the lady above us had two teenagers. They all believe that from 9 p.m until wee hours of the morning is playtime in and out of the apartment building and up and down stairs. Here's my opinion on apartment living. Between the hours of say 8 a.m. and 9:00 p.m. people live kids play that's what they do and within reason there will be noise. As long as your raido or t.v. is not so loud as that I can't even hear my own t.v. than that's ok. (but on weekends I do get irritated during naptime because my kids nap but the grandkids upstairs never sleep and he is always running and sqeeling and jumping while my kids are trying to sleep) But what your daughter is doing is very typical and would probably hardly ever be noticed around here.
Now after 9p.m. I think everyone should respect other people, because most kids should be winding down or already be asleep and you never know someone's work schedule. Our problem has come w/ a few other apart. dwealers deciding that 3 a.m. is a perfect time to have a little camp fire and drinking party outside our side of the building, while mind you cussing and carrying on and pulling their truck right up along the building outside my windows and blaring their truck radio! After the second time I called the office thought it would be taken care of, but it's been better and we've had alot of rain the last few days!
I say let your daughter be a kid and do what kids do best, play and learn. If they don't like it let them leave or move :-) I am sure that if they did call the landlord and they would complain about it that he/she would just think they were crazy for complaining about everyday during the day normal activity. Are they as curtious to you and your family as they are expecting you to be to them? If not then I wouldn't worry about it. They sound like they are bored w/ nothing better to do than sit on their behinds finding things to complain about! I wish you luck and hope others have better advice for you! (maybe it would help me out too!) :-)