My husband said when he was my sons age that he was able to ride his bike by himself in front of his house, we live in an very small apt complex one story, most of the people that have been living here is for a year or more and our son is 6yr old and we have a big parking lot, at his age and since he does not listen I really don't trust him to do things like that by himself at his age, on the patio with gate closed i have no problem with that, just wanted to see what other opinions are.
Thxs for the opinions and also we live in a small apt complex but i know what you guys mean about what kind of people are around. I really appreciate the opinions.
what about the 11 yr old girl that was abducted 2 blks from her house waiting at the bus stop WHILE HER FATHER WATCHED AND COULDNT HELP because he was too far away???
It depends on the kid and the setting. I was allowed to cross the street by myself at 5 but my 5 year old son isn't close to ready. I was also told to ride only on the sidewalk at 6 at maybe 9 or 10 we had a bike safety class and then could ride in the street. At six you can teach him what to do if approached by a stranger or anything similar but that doesn't take the place of supervision. It helps if it is not one kid playing alone as well. When I was a kid we were allowed to go around the neighborhood (park, store, friend's house) in the daytime as long as we had a buddy. I'd say that was from maybe about age 7 or 8. When my mom was a kid in the 50's she and her best friend went to the movies (a 2 mile walk) and all over town starting in 2nd grade. That is not the norm now. However, crime has gone down so it is about at the same levels as in the 1980's.
You be the judge. I bet husband wasn't riding in an apartment's parking lot, though, was he? It isn't a matter of your child being mature enough, so much as a matter of everyone he might encounter while riding in the parking lot. Are you certain no drivers would whip around too fast and not see him?? Are there ANY teens that reside there or visit friends there? Anyone who drinks? Broken glass lying around anywhere?
If it were a neighborhood with houses(long time residents) I would be more comfortable- but not in apartments. People who get in trouble with the law (like pedo's) will move from place to place often, and apts are the places you will likely find them. Also I think the ability to view where he would be riding would be limited in an apt complex.
Also, 6 is to young to be alone, in my opinion.
10 is more like the right age.
You have to go by mental maturity of the child and no one knows that better then the mother. A parking lot is a scary place for anyone to ride a bike.
Then no.
It takes, 3 seconds, to abduct a kid.
It doesn't matter how good they are at riding a bike or how old they are.'
Just last week, a girl in my city, after school was walking home. All of a sudden a guy in a truck started following her and calling her. She got scared, and ran. He then got out of his truck, and followed after her.
She ran and ran back to the school. So as she approached the school, the guy stopped in his tracks.
This was a 10 year old girl.
She always walked home.
Normal neighborhood. Good neighborhood.
This still, happened.
Her parents, trusted her, to walk home by herself. Afterall, she is 10.
Still, things happens. Which are not in our control.
No, I would not leave my kid alone.
No matter how good or smart a kid is... you need to be careful.
The human brain, is not fully developed until 26 years old.
A 6 year old, your 6 year old... what would he do if there were an accident or an emergency or a stranger approaching him????
This is not only about "trusting" your kid... but, the cognizance, of the child. Even if they have mental maturity.
To me, even if mentally 'mature'... a kid this age, even older, does not know... what to do, in case of a weird situation.
Sometimes, a kid does not even have time, to yell or scream for help.
My oldest son was 7 when we handed him the walkie talkie to play in the neighborhood and ride his bike. We have the walkie talkie to keep in touch and know where he is at all times and it works great!!!
D. P.
My sons are 8,5,and 1 and obviously the 1yo isn't outside playing to the older two are not aloud in the front of the house unless they are on the porch. My 8yo doesn't pay attention enough to roam around on his own and my 5yo doesn't listen. I too was aloud to ride alone in front of my house when I was that age but times are different and I was a well behaved child who never wanted to get in trouble. I think you are right. It is all about safety and not about how it was for us as kids.....
I grew up in a rural area and we were riding our bikes all day during the summer by the time we were 7. You are not in a rural area, you are in an apartment complex and there are many cars who travel too fast and don't look. I would not let him out alone yet. I live in a house and I wouldn't let my son play out front or go to the park with friends on his own at that age either because it has taken longer for him to mature to the point I am comfortable with that. A neighbor is even more strict than I am and even now at 10 does not let him walk or ride the four streets over to our house. Use your best judgement about when the right age is.
I would be most concerned about cars not seeing him. So it depends on the area and the visibility. But if you aren't convinced of his maturity level, that's the biggest deciding factor.
My daughter has started riding her bike to a friend's house this year (age 9) but her friend's mother won't allow that girl to ride back. There is a difference between their level of caution even though they are the same age.
You should read 'Free Range Child'. She is totally extreme, but she has some good information in there about how to slowly let you kid do things to be independent without losing your mind. Plus, she also points out that the majority of kids are safe and are not targets of being abducted. Yes, it only takes seconds. But most amber alerts are from family members taking kids in domestic disputes. And you also are bombarded with TV where bad thing happen every episode. And you watch the news and they will tell you about every abduction in your area. But not how all the rest of the kids who walk/ride to school got home safely. So it helped me to 'relax' a little.
Anyway, I agree that if he does not pay attention well, I would be worried about him being seen by cars. So maybe, you can give him a job to start like getting the mail. Take baby steps, go with him the first week. Then the next week stay a little further from the box until he can get it himself.
My 2.5 year old gets the paper from my driveway every morning. He has been doing it since 18 months, and now we wait at the door for him. Hopefully by the time he is 4 we will let him do it all by himself, without supervision. The only way you child with learn to be independent is if you teach them.
I don't thin of your description as trusting the cbhild. It is more about who is are could be around. When your husband was your son's age, all the neighbors probably watched out for all the kids. THe kids in my neighborhood did not get away with anything because when we got home someone would have called and told my mom what we did or that we were on the next block, etc. It is a lot different now. A shame but that is how it is.
In an apt. complex - never outside alone, no matter what age. If you are able to get a house then many more opportunities open for your son to do things outside by himself. I lived in apt. complexes all of my childhood and never played outside by myself. There are too many ways for the child to disappear or be lured into an apt. w/o anyone ever seeing them. If you are on the 2nd floor or higher, being on the patio is great. But, if you are on the 1st floor and if anyone can reach over the fence/gate then NEVER leave him alone there either.
I am a product of a over protective mother! My oldest is 14 and im still not comfortable with letting him go places alone. My husband wasn't brought up like me. He thinks im tooo protective. Can't help it. Our baby is 4 and I will not let her go outside with just my son. The kids can play outside but only if we are out there. It scares me! I think 6 is too young. I would be afraid someone wouldn't see him. Just my opinion!
Not sure if you recall but about a year ago (or less) a little girl (I think she was 8) was taken from a parking lot in a phoenix apt complex. I live in a quiet neighborhood where I know all our neighbors, and I don't let my kids play in the front of the house unsupervised. It's not only what people can do intentionally but a car could pull out of a driveway without looking, etc. I grew up in a smaller town and we were out and about all day on own from very young. But times have changed and Maricopa County does not have a community feeling: too many people go into their homes without ever getting to know their neighbors, and too many people moving in and out. It's also an easy place for people to hide and disappear, the list of registered sex offenders in Mesa is pages and pages long. As a parent, you can never be too cautious.
Hi, S. -
I agree that it isn't really an age, it's an attitude or behavior. My kids are 7, 4 & 4, and many things kids their age might be allowed to do, I cannot allow. Sure, things like choosing their own clothing, pouring their own drinks, etc., I have no problem letting go. If they wear mismatched clothing or spill juice on the floor, no matter. When it comes to situations where they could be in danger, it's a different story. All my kids are girls, but all reckless daredevils, and pretty consistently non-compliant, to boot. Not a good combination. I know, with all my heart, that If I allow them to ride their bikes out front of the house, something tragic could happen. Despite all my warnings, they just don't have the make-up to be cautious in any way. I'll know when it's time to loosen the reins, and it won't have to do with what number birthday they've just celebrated. We all remember a simpler time when we were kids, but things are different now. How many of the drivers navigating within your parking lot are doing so while texting? Stand your ground, Mama. You'll know when the time is right and will happily let your son have all the freedom he needs.
It really depends on the child. I trusted my older daughter at three to walk to her friends house and come back and the right time. My son, her older brother was five. My younger two I still don't trust me son to go anywhere and he is 12, granted he has PDD, my youngest was just allowed to start going to friends houses in the subdivision last year at eight.
In my opinion you will know when you can start letting them have freedom.
In an apt complex. not alone. I was always out with my kids when in the parking lot. People dont watch out well.
As for in a house setting. My son is six and I will allow him ouot front as long as I am at my desk(looks out on the whole street). My four year old is only allowed out on the grass in the front. He must stay in the grass out in front of my window. My three year old has to have an adult out with him at all times. Our neighbor has a pond that is not fenced. They have had a few incidents with it so, I will not chance it with him.
i agree with you. my 5 yo is extremely hard headed and i sometimes don't trust him to say his name right so i know i can't trust him to do much more. you know your child and what they are and aren't capable of, so don't even leave it to chance!
