Were Your Other Children There During the Birth of New Baby?

No, mine were two and three at the time, they would have been scared at that age plus I didn't want to have to worry about them and I wanted to solely focus on the healthy, safe birth of the newest addition. I made plans and arrangements well in advance (and "on call" LOL!)

No, my kids would have been bored to tears when they were younger. When I had my younger two my older daughter said don't even ask, no child should see that!

no, it would have distressed my older boy.
maybe if i'd done a home birth, and plenty of prep work with him.
it would have been distressing for me too to be laboring and worrying about how he was handling it.
khairete
S.

No way. My first son was 3 when my second son was born. My boys were 5 and 8 when my daughter was born.
No need for them to be in the room with me. Sweating, crying, puking, and bleeding....hmmm? Sounds like a nightmare for the kids!
Plus, I wanted to be able to concentrate on breathing and trying to get through the labor as opposed to watching my toddlers and getting on them for touching the medical tools, taking them to the bathroom or listening to them whine about how they were bored. (or kissing their tears cuz they are freaked out about mom)

My 3 kids are all each 2 years apart and no, none of them were around for the birth or labor, they were brought in to meet their new sibling once we were settled and everything was over and the baby and myself were all cleaned up and good to go.

I figured mine were too young to witness such things.

~I was 17 when I saw my sister give birth and almost passed out when they gave her her episiotomy...so much blood...my poor sister, while in labor was having to calm me down and talk me through it and reassure me that everything was OK. I would never traumatize my kids that way...but I am not good around blood!

As you know, my two kids are far spaced in age.
At first, my daughter had it in her mind that she wanted to be there. She had her head set on it.

However, I'd spent so much time in the hospital during my pregnancy with shingles, that when the time came to it, when she got the first hint I would be in pain and saw all the medical equipment, she wanted nothing to do with it.

It was okay, because we had a Plan B not knowing if I would have to have a c-section or whatever complications there might be.

My husband went and got her after the baby was born and some of the tension had died down because I had a very difficult delivery. She kissed me, counted her little brother's fingers and toes, kissed him, and she was ready to be out of there.

I think all situations were different. I was there for the birth of my grandson and I can't see a little kid hanging through that. It was hard enough on me.

Some women can have very calm and peaceful births and it's a beautiful experience, but if it doesn't turn out that way, I don't think little kids should be present.

Just my opinion, and best wishes to you!!!!!!!!!!

NO! My son came in afterwards to briefly see the babies, & then waited with family in the waiting room until I was moved to a real room. :)

Doesn't matter how much you prepare your child OR how mature you believe your child to be.....I am proof-positive that delivery can go waaaay wrong & totally freak out everyone in the room. Children need to be protected from life-threatening events such as this. A blink of the eye & it's emergency time. :(

Yup! All my older kids were there for their siblings births.
When my second was born, my first was a couple months away from turning 3. When my third was born my boys were 8 & 5.
They went to every single pre-natal apt, getting to hear the heartbeat each time and such.
My second and third children were born in a free standing birth center. My mom was "in charge" of the kids. With my second birth my son went back and forth between the room next door and the room I was laboring in. My labor was super fast, we came close to a car birth. Having my oldest there was calming to me. He came in and held my hand, brought me a picture he colored. He wasn't scared in any way. He missed the actual birth of his brother by litterally moments because he decided he wanted to go play with the toys in the other room.
When my third was born my boys were amazing! They were my cheerleaders..quite litterally..cheering Go Mom Go! LOL They even made a banner while sitting there. The birth center has a large suite upstairs that had a seating room, the room with the tub I was laboring in and the bed I ultimately delivered in. They wandered around, my mom had things for them to do. But, again, my labor and delivery was really pretty short.
The hardest part was the 6 hour wait before we could go home. We brought a couple videos for my first to watch when my second was born. My mom took them for a walk around the neighborhood.
Neither time were my children a bad distraction. They never got in the way. No one was traumatized.
If I have any more children I'll have everyone there in a heartbeat. I don't regret having them there with me either. They are what kept me going, they reminded me of what I was there for. None of them felt slighted or put aside of less important.

Hi. My older child was 4 years old when my 2nd was born. We had a planned home birth, so she certainly could have been there. Many people were surprised to learn that she wasn't. The reason was that she never asked to be at the birth. If she had asked, I would have been fine with that - I was a Bradley Method childbirth educator for years, I could certainly have prepared her, she did see a birth video before I had the baby. But I felt it needed to be her idea, not something that I thought was cool. She was at home with us through the early part of labor (couple of hours). Once transition came, I was ready for her to be gone. It was a Saturday, but my daycare provider was on call for us around the clock at that point. My daughter went to her house (her daughter was the same age and they were best friends). When the baby was born early evening, we called there to tell my daughter and offered to bring her home to meet her brother, but she opted to stay because she'd never had a sleepover with a friend before! It was good - hubby and I had the night to oogle over the baby without meeting anyone else's needs or give attention to someone else.

My neice / nephew. 1 & 4.

Plus some babies & some elementary aged little ones.

Note: NOT my kids.

I wasna responsible for any of them
None of them thought I was responsible for them
Most of them thought I was the height of comedy
(I have high pain tolerance in real life. Not in labor. My face is quite expressive. I worried a smidge at the brood of futur sociopathy laughing at my eyeball exploding pain. But not a lot. Because I was in transition for eleventy zillion years. And other people were responsible for them).

They were all great.

But they were also elsewhere for 95% of it.

"Aunty! You're being slow on purpose!"

Giggle "Aunty is funny."

"Whoa. Auntie has a big owie. Better get a bandaid. I'm not gonna kiss it, though."

"Wimp"

_________________

Also for the record... I HATE people in the room with me. I'll take a salty nurse, or wiseacre anesthesiologist or three, but I don't like people I know. Live & learn.

((I had waaaaay too many people in our suit. Family from both sides, band, coworkers, friends, etc. my ex phoned them all an invited them. They were beyond unwelcome in most cases. The kids were fine, they just popped in and out. The adults wanted to chat. Go. Away. I really don't care, usually, but in labor even someone BREATHING in the room with me, strike that, especially breathing.... Made my teeth itch.

Yes, my oldest daughter was almost four. Home birth, she baked a cake with her Grandma during the short labor and was there to see her sister arrive.

I think these responses speak to the way Americans view birth. In our home it was never considered a medical procedure but a natural process. My oldest was present for the many meetings with the midwife, had been told her own home birth story and we talked about what may happen. To me it seems as natural and necessary as when my girls spent time with their Grandma when she was dying. Having everyone close in those moments just seems right to us and I would not have changed a thing.

No, and I was very happy that my 8 y/o was not there. The birth turned out to be traumatic, with two resuscitation teams rushing in for me and the newborn, my husband was there but not my son, thankfully, he was home with Grandma, it would have made a lasting scary impression on my child.

Heck no. My 3 yo went with his aunt to play until baby came.
I remember that labor (while, yes, is a great thing) is an adult thing and can be scary and confusing to a little one. Poor little guy was scared enough while I was just contracting on our way to my sister's.
so for us it was not an option:)

No. My oldest was 3 1/2. I went into labor in the middle of the night, my parents were staying w/us to watch my son. We wouldn't have brought him even if it was during the day. But we made sure that he was the first to see his little brother. When my parents brought him to the hospital, we made them wait while we introduced the new brothers. He felt so special being the first to see him! :-)

No, Ephie, it would have frightened my son to death to see me like that.

However, I did take him on an early tour of the hospital. They gave him footies and one of the things to put on his head, and he thought that was very cool! I went into labor at 5 in the morning and we took him to daycare on the way to the doctor's office. After putting me on a monitor, the doctor sent me to the hospital. We called my BIL and told him that was the day, and he picked our son up at daycare on his way home from work, and took him home with him. My baby was born at 3:30 in the morning (long labor - he was face up - OP), and my BIL and SIL brought my son, along with their kids, to see the baby the next day. He wanted to wear his hair net and booties again - so cute! The first thing he said when he saw his little brother was "That's a baby!" I'll never forget it!

The next time he saw him was at home. I'm glad the way it turned out. Most of the time I was in labor was while he was asleep. The next day was Saturday and he was having fun with his cousins.

Hope you're feeling good and that all is going well with your pregnancy and your studies!

Nope - they were 6 for my third and then 8 with my fourth. They had no interest, nor would I have made it an option.

My daughter was almost 3. No she was not in the room, she went to the hosptital with us until my inlaws came and picked her up.

My son was 15 when I had my daughter. He was in school when I went into labor. We had someone else go pick him up from wrestling practice afterwards (5-5:30) and then had him come to the hospital to see me. He came in a time or two but otherwise waited in the waiting room w/ the grandparents...obviously he was able to supervise himself and do homework. Then a family member took him home to get clothes etc. and he spent the night with them. I never really considered him being in the room for the delivery (which was good because he didn't want to be). He wanted to be there but didn't really like seeing me in pain (I had a tough time with delivery).

No.
My son was about two weeks shy of his 3rd birthday. I can't imagine he would have wanted to see it, and husband and I were quite a bit ummm busy, during labor and delivery.
Friends picked him up from the hospital waiting room before I was given a room myself, and then they brought him back early the next morning after a good night's sleep (I went into labor just at his bedtime on a Friday night).

I have the cutest picture of him climbing up to meet her for the first time. I think if he had been there it would have been traumatic for him. I mean, goodness, it was pretty traumatic for my husband both times, I think...

If kids are a little older and interested, maybe. It is really up to the individual families. We are not that open of a family when it comes to other private things (we don't walk around the house naked, or use the bathroom with the door open, or share showers with the kids). So this is really just an extension of that, if you think about it.

The kids have always been very close, and still are. Being there for the birth has no bearing on what their relationship will be like.
Mine are 11 and 14 now.

My son was too young for that at 2 years old, but I know my cousin was there for the birth of his 2 sisters. He was 15 and 17 at the time. My aunt and uncle were hoping it would be a form of birth control for him!

My son had just turned 3, so that just wasn't an option to us. We got him a new Spiderman backpack with new toys to celebrate his becoming a big brother: colors and coloring book, couple hotwheels, 2 books, an action figure...quiet toys to keep him busy and happy. We made arrangements for him to stay at my friend's house and play with her dogs. I think he was happier with that than being stuck in a hospital where we wouldn't let him get on the floor, where he'd have to behave and be quieter, etc. Yuck for a 3 year old! I don't think the doctor would have said yes to that anyway, if we had wanted it...I asked if people bring their kids in and he said "would you want your child to see you in pain, and all the stuff that goes along with it?" and frankly, at his age, NO WAY. They took me to the doctor and gave me kisses bye, then he went to my friend's house and my husband stayed with me. Worked well for us. My husband went to get my son so he could sleep in his own bed, and I didn't mind the relaxation alone in the hospital at night.

Mine was at school. I had a c section. My FIL came a few days before and he brought my son to the hospital after school to meet his sister :)

No. I agree with those who said it could be traumatic for young children. But also, in my case the older sibling was a VERY active 3-year-old. I had a fairly quick labor with the 2nd (about 4-5 hours), but still what would an active 3-year-old boy have done during that time at the hospital? He would have driven us nuts, required constant supervision and probably would have misbehaved. It would have been very boring for him. It was a beautiful September day and he was running around an arboretum with my in-laws. It might be a different situation for home births, but that isn't something I would've considered.

My daughter will be 18 when the new baby is born. She doesn't want to be there for the birth, so she'll stay home with the dogs.

Nope. My firstborn was 21 months old when I had his brother. I went into labor in the middle of the night. A neighbor came to stay with him while i went to the hospital. My mother arrived an hour or so later to take over. His little brother was born before he even woke up in the morning. Grandma brought him to visit in the afternoon.

He was not impressed. lol

No way. Mine was 4 1/2 and what child needs to see that at that age? That's more of something maybe a teen would want to be there for. Maybe...

mine were too young to be in there during, but they came there shortly after to be with new baby.

No my daughter was not there. When she came to visit after her little brother was born, she stood in the corner and insisted we return him. She was almost three at the time. Still have the picture of her facing the corner crying that she "didn't want no bruder" lol.
of course when we got home she loved feeding him. :):)
many blessings

No.All my kids waited in the waiting room with their grandparents(husband parents and my parents). We made sure they had coloring books,colors and things to keep them entertained while they wait. I remember when my 3rd was born my oldest(3 at the time) came in my room after they moved me in a room and she had a scared, shock look on her face. She didn't want to come near me because i had iv, in my hand and machines around the bed. I can only picture what she would of done if she was in there during the birth.lol.

My daughter had a home birth two years ago and is due again in June. Her kids, then 10 and 7, were present and will be again. It was wonderful! They were interested and there were others of us there to help with the children and be there for my daughter.

The kids were at school when labor started and we got set up. They didn't pay much attention to their mom who was in heavy labor in the bedroom but when she came out and got in the tub they were right there watching, interested in what was happening. Destini did do some screaming and they weren't concerned. Destini and the midwives had talked with them about what was going to happen and then while it was happening. It was a very joyful experience.

The midwife offered to show us the placenta and cord and both kids were fascinated as was I.