7 Year Old Present Duing Birth

My daughter was 5 when her sister was born and she had a "bird's eye view" so to say - she was just to the left of the OB (who moved just enough for her to see lol) and she thought it was great at the time. We had watched "A Baby Story" and things like that and we talked a little about what would happen. To this day she still loves that experience but at the same time she has decided that she will "NEVER have Children & NEVER EVER have sex" (so that part makes me happy lol)

You could try watching some of the baby shows on Discovery Health channel. Or perhaps search YouTube?

Just a quick little thing.....My husband...who helped get me pregnant....was super excited to see my baby be born. He was there through the complications....the yelping (just a little...the needle in my back) (and he left the room when I yelped) and then the C-section. He actually threw up before the baby c-section started.
It may be VERY scary for a child to see his mother in a lot of pain, barfing (which I did right before we got to the pushing part), sweating, crying, pushing, bleeding...and then baby covered in goo, crying, bloody...ect. While I watch birthing shows and cry because I think they are so beautiful, I also know that my sons (8 and 5) would be really upset seeing their mother giving birth! It is NOT pretty! At least, not in my case. lol
I would be really graphic with him so he knows what can happen while giving birth. And, the above described, are things that are pretty normal with a normal birth. What if you have a few complications? We did! It was an emergency C-section after two days of labor. That might scare him too.
If, after all of that he still wants to go in...GREAT!!! But, make sure there is someone there that can escort him out and stay with him if you or he decides that he needs to leave.
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How wonderful! I think you are giving him a wonderful opportunity in doing this.
If you are not planning on going with a midwife, I would consider speaking to a doula or childbirth intsructor about prepapring him. Otherwise I am sure your midwife would be happy to help.
There are plenty of videos of great birth experiences online - you may just want to preview them.
Also make sure you have a deicated attendant or sitter for him in your room. That person can help explain to him what is happening, when things get too intense for you to concentrate on him. They can also take him out of the room if he opts to leave.

I hope you have a wondeful experience.
Good luck!

Reading adult books and asking adult questions, is quite different then being in the middle of an adult situation. My advice would be for YOU, to fist watch videos about birthing. You need to know more about what to expect, before you allow your son to watch anything about birth. Just from that, you may decide yourself not to let you son be there. You might have to make the ultimate decision, because a 7 year can't really wrap their head around what really happens, no matter how smart. Birth is messy, sometimes very loud and incredibly intense. Yes, it is beautiful. However, many many adults have a hard time with birth. It is an overwhelming, sometimes frantic experience. Personally, I would not let a 7 year old be there during birth. I have a really hard time believing a 7 year old could actually be prepared for birth. Most adults aren't even prepared. Intelligent does not equal mature enough for adult situations.

I know that this is your personal choice but I would not have a seven year old attend a birth. One of my cousins still remembers his mom giving birth and to him it was not beautiful and magical but scary and gross. For a child to see his mother in that much pain can be scary. He may be concerned about you and not excited about what is happening. Also, I had my sisters in my birth room so I wasn't modest at the time but I did poop on the delivery table both times. Also there is a lot of blood and fluid that comes out of you at birth that most dads can barely handle. If you decide you really want him there, there needs to be an adult that can be in charge of him and can take him out of the room if he feels like he can not watch it anymore. Good luck with whatever you choose.

Ask your Doctor... and per the Hospital, they may have age restrictions...

My niece and nephew both attended my son's birth. <Laughing> I'll never forget my niece's response "R. had a BIG owee. And did you know? Babies come out NAKED!"

Our birthing coach/ instructor/ insert correct title here was big on videos for first time parents to take the scariness/ grossness factor out (by the time kiddo was born I'd watched may 200 babies being born). Nearly all of them were short clips. Some as short as 10 seconds all strung together, other 5 or 10 minutes in a single birth. It was really cool, actually. Especially the short ones since I didn't have time to get bored. If you have a birthing coach/ instructor/ insert correct title here... I'd ask her if she has any of the short (and graphic) videos you could borrow or find.

DO go graphic, if you really want to prepare you kiddo. Otherwise it's all rather shocking.

My oldest daughter was 5 when my youngest was born. She asked if she could be there when I had the baby. So we watched videos (the ones mentioned, I think, plus some others my midwife had {I wish I could remember the names of those}) and Baby Story on tv. She had no problem with those. We warned her that when mommy is in labor, it hurts so mommy will probably make some noises that she doesn't normally make.

Also, since labor can be an intense time (fortunately, I ended up laboring most of the night and she slept thru it), I had her grandma there for distraction. When we thought birth time was close, we woke her up. Unfortunately, it wasn't, so she saw some pretty hard labor for a couple hours. But, like I said, we had her grandma there for distraction. They made cookies (home birth) and played games.

When the time came, she had the option of watching and we made sure, if at any time, that if she was uncomfortable, that she could leave with grandma. She didn't have to watch. She ended up watching the whole thing, she wasn't TOO close to the action. Afterwards, she said she didn't know there would be so much blood, but it didn't scare her, since she had seen the videos. She also got to hold her sister just a few minutes after birth. I think that reward made the whole thing positive too.

I think if you prepare him and give him the option of leaving at any time during the birth, then its a great idea.

Watch some of the TLC channel Baby Story show. The show the labor and delivery for each story. Sometimes it becomes a C-Section. Sometimes its a family that has a children present at the delivery. Some shows have been home births also. Also check with your local hospital if they have a class to prepare the siblings. They give them a tour of the birthing center and make them feel special about being a big brother or sister.

i think it's a wonderful idea. I asked all 3 of my kids if they wanted to be there with us when we have our new little boy alter this year, My kids are 10, 9 and 7, two boys and a girl. They declined, after watching TLC with me one day, but they will still be there during the labor part and directly after the fact. I think TLC has some great shows that show labor and delivery, but your OB would most likely be your best bet.

Has your son went to any of the appointments with you? Your doctor could likely explain a lot to him. My kids have all went with me, they were fascinated by the heartbeat and the ultrasound.

My only suggestion with all of this, would be have someone (grandma, a friend) in with you as well, they can help entertain your son should it be needed, help ease any fears, and scoot him out of the room should it come to that, you aren't going to want to spare your husband for those issues.

One thing that can help out a little bit is on, um i Think its the network TLC...they have a show called "A Baby Story" or "Bringing Home Baby"

They are pretty much just video's following a certain family in labor, delivery and going home with the baby.

They showed a video at our birthing class (don't know the name) - it was really graphic...my comment to my husband was, "If they showed that is health class, it would be the best birth control that teens could use!" Both of my childrens' births were natural (no drugs) and really pretty easy (no screaming!) Obviously, I didn't see what was going on...but having seen the video, I would say that you should let your son be there (if you want to), but have him sit on a chair in the room or stay up by your hear. Also, consider how you will deal with it if he does get freaked out - will someone be able to take him to the waiting room and wait with him?

I bought a video called "Conception to Birth" from the Discovery Channel Store online for my husband who had never seen a vaginal birth. You can skip to the end if you don't want to go through the whole thing with your son. There's also PBS's NOVA "Life's Greatest Miracle" which you can view online and just skip to the final chapter for the birth (http://www.pbs.org/wgbh/nova/miracle/program.html). These are both live vaginal births. You can also watch lots of "Deliver Me" and "A Baby Story" on Discovery, Discovery Health and TLC. Those are edited for TV, but still real births.
I think you should talk to your son about what is going to happen, what he's going to see, what he's going to hear, what the doctor and nurses will be doing, etc. so he's prepared. He probably has no clue what he's getting into by asking to be present at the birth and just doesn't want to be left out, but needs to know it can be a scary, loud, bloody event as well as a joyous one.
The most important thing is that a friend/family member takes on the responsibility of spending every second of the birth with your son, explaining what 's going on as it's happening, able to calm, reassure or remove you son as needed, so he's not just lost in the room scared or confused and alone.
I wish you lots of luck!

I'm sure if you google "Birth videos" you will be able to find something. I agree with a lot of the other posters that said he needs to see graphic. If he can't watch a graphic video of a mom giving birth, there is no way he will be able to watch his own mom giving birth (a much more traumatic experience). Good luck in whatever you decide!

When we had our 4th daughter, our girls were 10, 13, and 15. The 10 year old seemed largely unaffected. Years later she told me it seemed awful. But she was pregnant when she said that LOL. I'm not sure if a boy would be any different. But I think it would be great experience.

I would look online for Gentle Birth Options and their videos. I watched these in my homebirth class and found them to be very realistic, and the mothers in labor were relatively contained in regard to pain management/expression. In some of the videos, family was present, which will give your son an idea of what he might be doing/experiencing.

I think it's great that you've left things open-ended enough that he can choose to leave if he wishes. Watching other people in the labor-space can be pretty intense, even for adults.

If it were me, I'd also be cautiously straightforward about preparing him for the 'just in case' of cesarean birth and have a caregiver/friend who could be with him if the birth ends up taking that turn. This way, he won't be upset or nervous if this event occurs. Happy upcoming Birth Day!

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My midwife had videos that we could borrow. If you have a midwife in your city or the next (I know there are some in Portland), give them a call and see if they have any you can borrow or if they can point you.

There's some on YouTube too. I'm not sure if they are all home births, but that'll at least give him some realistic idea of what to expect.

Good for you making the decision to let your son be involved in this precious way. My oldest was present for the birth of my youngest and it was so important to us all.

I'm not sure what kind of birth you are planning, but there are several videos available in our local library that are aimed at home birth and promoting home birth. These might be a good resource regardless of the location you are having your baby because they are showing women in the different stages of labor, and while it is very real, it is presented in a very peaceful way. None of these women are panicing and throwing fits. My husband and I watched acouple of these videos before my daughter was born because he was going to miss the birth and wanted to have an idea of what he was missing. Some of the women are birthing in birth centers and some at home, but many of them involved the families, so these type of videos will not only show your son the birth process, but they involve kids being with their mother.

Hello -

I think it's great that your son wants to be there. My only suggestion is to have a back up plan in place - a friend's house he can sleepover at, or a visit to granma and granpas. When my second nephew was born his older brother knew he had an option of either being there or going to play during the labor. He was fine until his mama started groaning and did not want to stand up - for whatever reason all the other preparation and talking and comprehension went out the window and suddenly he wanted his mama to just stand up! At this point, Plan B kicked in and he decided he wanted to go play for a while as long as he could come back right after his sibling was born. It worked out best for all.

Being unattached to his reaction and having some options can make a big difference. Blessings on your birth and enjoy!

I also have a 7 yr old. When it neared the time my daughter was to be born, my thoughts were to let my son into the room with us so he could watch the birth. To prepare him for anything (even in the case of an emergency and I had baby at home) he and I started watching things like Discovery Health and shows like A Baby Story (the internet and the library are wonderful tools). These were more passive stories that showed how families grow and babies are born. Unfortunately, my daughter wanted to come out so fast, I barely made it to the hospital. We didn't have time to plan taking my son with. By the time I reached the hospital...from the the admins desk to my room in L & D...was 7 min. Phew! I would have a backup plan for your decision, just in case. :D But otherwise, good luck and congratulations! :D