Well the DREADED Question

My 2 year old used to have the binky. He wouldn't go to sleep with out it, he always had it, even when he really didn't need it. My mother in law finally helped out. She asked him if he is a big boy and he answered yes. She said well, big boys don't have binkies, and he himself threw all his binkies aways, he even threw his sippies away. Maybe you could try asking her is she is a big girl, and letting her know that you do think she is a big girl. She might get the idea that big girls don't need binkies. Point out that she doesn't she mommie with one. ^_^ Maybe that could work.

Leave her alone! She IS still a baby and if she enjoys the binky,,,,,why not? As she gets older ( after 2 or 2 1/2 _) and becomes more rational, you can talk about giving up the binky( because she is such a big girl). She might even eventually want to give it to her new baby.
Don't rush this 15 month old. Let her be a baby and enjpy this gift.

I have a thumb sucker who is almst 6 and my 3 1/2 yr. old used a pacifier. I asked the pediatrician when to wean from the pacifier and she recommended taking him off when I weaned him from the breast which was at 1 yr. old. It was a challenge maybe for 2 nights but beyond that, we've had no problems. My 19 mo. old never was interested in the pacifier or thumb nor was my 8 yr. old. Try taking it away little by little as we have done with the blankets which get lots nastier as they are drug everywhere. We started with taking them in the car but they could not go in where ever we went to leaving them home to leaving them in the bedroom. My kindergartener still will ask for his blanket when he is upset and we tell him he must go into his room. So, try saying that she can only use the binky in her own bedroom. Regardless, I can't think of a singel teenager that I have seen out in public with a binky in his/her mouth!! And, I even taught in public school before I had kids so I've seen lots! Good luck..this too shall pass.

It seems like you have a lot of suggestions to mull over, but I will go on and give you one more...it can't hurt! DS now four was one when we made binky a nap/bedtime thing. When we found out that baby number two was on the way, we made it a night time thing...about two months after the baby was born i decided I didn't want to fight DS trying to take the binky from new dd, so I threw all the binky's away...dd didn't take to one any way...so DS was fine that night, hardly any crying and I never had the issue from dd because she didn't miss it. All babies and toddlers are different...I think you will know what will be best for your child, but I knew my ds would not be happy that baby sister had one and he didn't. I think it is a man thing about things always being fair haha! :)
Good luck with the new baby and all of your endeavors! :)

My three kids (now 12, 10 and 7) were avid nursers. Only the first one and third used a pacifier because I introduced it to them. With the second I never introduced it. But b/c I nursed them each until they were three they stopped with the pacifer at a year or so. Kids, like most mammals, have a BIG need to suck. It sounds like you have already reduced the binky to key moments like bed time. I know people who bury it (it died) or "send" it to a new baby (they need it now) or an animal at the zoo, etc. but she is still so little she still might not understand all that. I got my daughter to wean at 3 by celebrating a big girl party. It took 3 days and we kept talking about the party and I printed out pictures from the internet of a puple "big girl" bike. This transition for her worked very well. I was very comforting and loving, she cried a little for 3 days at bed time, each night a little less, but then nursing was done. Good luck.

I think it is great that you have got her to only have it at nap & bedtime. You have already gotten over a major hundle. But be careful not to push to hard. When I did, she started sucking her thumb and that you can't take away. After awhile you tell her that when that last binky gets old or lost, that's it, your last one. One day it will become "lost" or she may even decide to throw it away and if she does she gets a prize! But don't drive yourself nuts over it. I've never seen a school aged child with one. This too shall pass!!! D.

I never used a binky with my daughter but I was wondering if you can talk to her about how she is going to be a big sister and maybe when the baby is born she can wrap up her binky and give it to her new sister or brother. You can work on the box with her and decorate it and make it a really big deal and make her feel special about givign it away and when the baby is born and she gives her present to the baby maybe you could give her something special from the baby.
Just an idea
Good luck on the binky and the new baby.

Hi J. G,

My daughter is 14 years old now, but I remember like it was yesterday when "the binky" dissappeared. You see, my little one pulled the highchair down on top of her and hit her little tooth that was not completely out yet...the pediatrician suggested that we get rid of "the binky" because her little tooth was dying and the extra sucking action on the pacifier would not be good for the ailing tooth. Soooo...next time she dropped "binky" behind the futon, it just dissappeared. That night was rough, but within a few nights she would console herself and go to sleep without much fuss.

Peace to you and your beautiful baby.
A.

My son is now 2yrs old. He was totally in love with his binky. Couldn't go anywhere without it. It became a real issue for us. So I decided just after he turned 1 that I would try to get rid of it. I tried lots of different things (suggestions that others had passed my way) which really did not work. The ideas were mostly to transition him little by little. I found that the little by little method did more harm than good. Even if I let him have it just at night, he would sob during the day for it. I ended up throwing out all of the binkys and do it cold turkey. Yes, he cried. But it only lasted 1 day. After that, he forgot about it. I made sure that I gave him extra things to comfort him, like a new stuffed animal in his crib for example. Maybe if I had waited until he was older, he wouldn't have given it up as easily as he did. I don't know. I can only say what worked for me. Hope that helps & good luck.

Hi J.. I have two ideas. One being that you have her collect all of them and put them in a bag for the binky fairy. She can leave them by the door and you can make it a big deal for her. Put glitter on the floor around where they were and such. Or you can wait until the baby comes and she can "give"her binkies to the baby because the baby needs them. Just a thought. GOod luck

I have 2 girls so everything is compared to princesses..
I say "is that what a princess would do?"
We did the princess on the potty book and ever since then she wants to do what a princess would do.

D.

okay... I am thinking you arn't going to agree with me here but here goes.... Let her have it.... My son didn't want it until her was about 1 of for some reason I let him have it... I was in the same position I was pregnant and didn't want to stress him out to much so he kept it until he was 3 and on his 3rd birthday I told him the mimi (binky) fairy was going to come and take all his mimi's but she would leave him a toy... So the night before his birthday we took ALL his mimi's and put them under his pillow.... The mimi fairy left him toy and the next night he was upset but after that it was over... He was a big boy....

Now I am almost in the same position again my daughter is 17 months and she sucks her thumb, I am thinking about giving her a mimi because I know I can take away the mimi but the thumb is another story....

Good luck, but as I said I don't see a huge problem with letting her keep it...

J., as hard as it may seem the best thing to do is to take it away now. I waited until my son was almost two and a half years old to take it away. By then he was talking and it is heart wrenching when they are falling asleep and asking for it. At the time his pediatrician said I had to take it away cold turkey and there was no easy way to do it. It wasn't pleasant for a couple of nights. You have a lot of good suggestions from other moms but give your pediatrician a call and get his/her advice. Good luck.

My pediatrician said "the only problem with it is that it looks funny" when i told him that my son, now 3yo, still wants it at times. He said that it does no damage. A thumb is another story, it does major damage.

J., Have no worries about this topic. I'm a pretty realxed, laid back Mom and was going a little nutty about the binky my son was attached to. Every where we went he had to have it or else Mommy was miserable. So a few months ago we started forgetting it, and I'd only let him have it to go to sleep. Then one day I said to him I think maybe it's time to say Bye Bye to the binky. He said No, and became a little upset. A few days later we had the talk again. We discussed all of the things a big boy does that he is now doing, drinking from a cup without a lid, going on the potty, shoes that tie etc..so then he looked at me and said babies use binky's I'm not a little baby I'm a big boy, then he threw them in the garbage and said bye bye to each one. At the end of the week I took him to the store and I let him pick out a special toy for being a big boy. He was ok with it. He Has never cried for it and hasn't looked back. Just hang in there and know in your heart your little girl just needs to say goodbye on her terms in her time. My son was 3. Always present something and plant the seed then try try again.

Hi J. -

You sound like me! When I had my son I swore I would never give him a binky, and lo and behold, it was the only thing that would comfort him at times. So I said it would get taken away at six months, then a year... and before I know it he was 14 months, still using his binky for sleep. One day he chewed the rubber nipple off of the binky, so I had to take it away for safety reasons. We were on a plane, and I was terrified that it would be awful, but he surprised me - asked for it a couple of times, and when I told him no he was fine. I was all streesed out about taking it away, but he handled it well. At the most I would think your daughter will ask for it for a few days, but then it should be over. Just make the decision to stop, and stick with it - don't give in, or you will make it a lot harder for yourself. Good luck!

My daughter is 7yrs old now, but I remember going through the same thing. I once saw a 4 yr old in the store with a pacifier in her mouth and swore my daughter would never do that so I told myself it would be gone before she turned 2. I ended up poking a small hole in the pacifier, about the size of a large needle. Sometimes that works as they don't like the fact the pacifier collapses, but that didn't work. But she knew her "night night" was broken. I let it go for about 2 weeks thinking she would get tired of it, but she didn't, so I snipped off the very end when she wasn't around and when she tried to use it I said "Uh oh, night night broken". Since she went to a Christian preschool at the time, I told her that she was a big girl and didn't need her night night anymore but if she threw it away, an angel would come during the night, take it away, and fix it for another baby who needed it. She liked that idea, and even made her baby doll get rid of her pacifier. Of course she cried and asked for it but I kept insisting it was broken and the angels needed it for another baby. After about an hour, she fell alseep without it. I went through this for 3 days and even showed her the garbage can and the fact that it was no longer there and we couldn't get it back. Finally, she stopped asking for it. To this day she doesn't even remember having one. Honestly, I think us mothers are more traumatized over it then they are.

But my advice is if you can get her to give it up willingly like I did, it is much easier to convince her she doesn't need it anymore. Good luck, but trust me, it will be harder on you than on her. :-)

my kids are 20 months apart and I took the paci away from my daughter (my 1st) when she turned two. she really understood and was able to handle it. It was a little hard the 1st few days but after that she wasn't upset anymore. Went to a big girl bed since my son was leaving the bassinet and potty trained her at the same time. I really think they understand so much more when they turn two. I hope this helps.

I was very fortinate that my son stopped taking it when we hid them. I read this article and imediatly thought, what if she gave her "Binky's" to the new baby as a present special from her. Try taking her to the store now and having her pick out the wrapping to wrap them up nice to give the new baby a present (let her do as much of the wrapping as she can). This will prepare her for the day when she can give her comfort item to the new baby. You can even have her keep the wrapped present with her in bed or on the dresser where she can see it. This is just a thought I had. Hope you find the answer that works best for you. Congratulations on baby # 2.

Hi J.,
My son is almost 25 months now and I'm pregnant too!
In my experience my son loves his binky, I have 2! But little by little we only give it to him at night to sleep or during the day for his nap only. When he gets upset or we are going out, because he is very shy, I let him use it until I see him having fun and I take it away. What I usually do is take it away and hide it as fast as I can and entertrain him w/something else, tv. toys, whatever or give her a cup of juice or sippy cup, my son loves it. Until he forgets ...little by little it's working. I know it's not good for him at this age, but only you as a mother know ur kid and eventually will take it out. Just give her something during the day...and have patience..I catch my son all the time bitting something thinking is his binky...but hey at least he doesn't have it..
Good luck!

The longer you wait,the harder it is going to get.i had a neighbor with a little girl.she was 5yrs old when hers was taken away.i thought that was a bit much.now,i am a grandmother my self.my grand daughter stays out of town.when she would come into town,i would sneak her one because i couldn't take the crying.her mom took her off everything.all she had was a cup.so i understand how you feel.it is hard.but it is best you do it now and try to cope with the crying.
Good luck!!!!!!!!

Try having her wrap all her binkies in pretty paper for the new baby when it arrives. Let her feel like the big sister who passes on her "baby" stuff to the new sibling. This gives her control and a feeling of being the grown up sister. We did this with my daughters baby bottles and it worked beautifully. Bet it would work on other hard -to- give up items! Good luck!!

yet another one to say let her have it...

I don't know why our society is so hung up on SUCKING!!!
if a 12 month old was still nursing, that's sucking...
sipping from a Nuby soft spout cup instead of a bottle, that's sucking...
so a baby/toddler gets soothing from sucking, so what?

I sucked my thumb for a LONG time (only at night past a certain age!) & no braces needed for me.

my son kept his pacifier until he was about 3 & 1/2.

he's FINE.

so, if you want to restrict it to the carseat and stroller (for sleeping) and naps and bedtime, I say go for it!
you can work on getting rid of it all together much later down the line. I am NOT saying let a 2 year or 3 year old wander around the supermarket or mall with one in her/his mouth!! but for soothing, sleeping, quiet (private) times, go for it!

HTH

Hi J.!

TRUST ME---let her keep it!!! I was (am) in the same situation. My son was 17 months when my daughter was born and that paci probably saved my sanity!
He too only takes it at bed time. He will be 2 next week, and he still has it. My pediatrician says its fine for now. And to be honest my mom said I had mine until 2 months before my 3rd B-day---and i'm fine, my teeth are fine, my jaw is fine...
So i guess that is where my 3 year standard comes from. I too will draw the line at 3 years---at least at 3 or close to it, you can explain and reason with the child rather then ripping away one of their most important security objects. Think about how much comforting your daughter may need when the new baby comes---and trust me when i say, there will be times when you can't give her your attention like you can now!!!

There is expert advise that states the paci is OK at this age still. My suggestion is to find some and show your husband! Unless he is ready and willing to spend every moment with her when the baby comes, i hope you can help him see that this IS NOT the time to take the paci away!!!!

Good luck!

I am actually going to suggest what the former poster did, too! I have a 26 month old DD (today, actually!) and a 6 week old. Even the pediatricians suggested not to change the "comfort" things much when a new baby enters the house... and believe me, as you get bigger, more uncomfortable and tired, cranky, etc... you want your little one to have the binky for comfort!
We actually weaned our DD to leaving her binky in her bed. She gets it for naps/bedtime. Yes, we will need to change this, but since the whole household is getting used to life with new baby, it may be a few more months before we tackle this...
I guess if you decide to do it - start soon so that it's done before baby arrives and your 15 month old isn't waking because of this. It's enough to have to comfort/feed the newborn at various times at night, you don't want to have to comfort your older child because they no longer have their binky, too.

Hi J.. First, congratulations on your pregnancy!!

I just had to write and respond to you because I can totally relate to your binky situation. First, let me tell you that my oldest (now alomst 4) was a total binky addict! I am happy to say that we had a gradual but tearless resolution when it was time to say bye bye binky. We had to do it slowly though because, like your daughter, mine was SOOO attached to it. I'm truly glad we did it the way we did because by waiting for her to be ready, she wasn't traumitized by having us do it too soon. At 15 months, like you, we only allowed her to have it at nap time or when she was overtired or really seemed to have to have it- like a "binky 911 situation, if you know what I mean- and only then. Then at age 2 (yes, age 2) it was ONLY allowed for sleeping- her binky couldn't leave it's "home" under her pillow. By age two I was starting to freak a bit- would she ever give it up? So I decided to cut off the very end of the nipple- just snipped part of the "nub" right off (I did this to all of the binkies- we just rotated them so we could sterilize them). I cut just the tip and told her binky was "broken". Wouldn't you know she STILL had to have it, cut nub and all! YES, she was that addicted!! So, here she was three months away from her 3rd birthday and I was due with my second baby. We decided she was finally ready. I could just tell the time was right. We had a talk that the "Binky Fairy" would be visiting our neighborhood soon and she would be taking binkies away from big kids who didn't need them and then the Fairy would deliver them to tiny babies (like the one in mommy's belly). My sweet girl seemed okay with the thought of the fairy idea so after a week of "Fairy Binky" Hype and stories, it happened. I snuck into her room when she was fast asleep at night and decorated with balloons and streamers everywhere. In the morning, her binky was gone and my daughter was so excited to see the decorations. I made a whole big deal about what a big girl she was. Also, she found a letter from the "binky Fairy" which I read to her. It told her how pround the fairy was of her for being such a big girl and that her binkies would be given to babies who really need them.

Hope this helps, sorry to ramble, and remember, - only you know what is best for your little one! Follow your mommy instinct :) Good Luck and I wish you the best!
-A. M.

If she is not using it in public, you have half the battle won! (be of good cheer) I would try to talk to my husband and see why your child needing her blankie at naptime or nighttime is such a big deal. Most children at this age do use a blankie or other lovie to get to sleep. Maybe choosing a special nightlight to look at would help. (my son has a night light with a kitty on it that he likes to look at at night) "What to Expect the Toddler Years" has some great advice as well- The authors suggest that its pretty typical to use a 'lovie' until even three, so don't pressure her to give it up totally (lovies seem to be especially wanted at night). pgs 113-114 pretty much cover the issue. Hope this helps.

J.,

When it comes to kids you have to stand firm, tell her it's nasty and make a face so she can associate it with tasting nasty. Kids understand more than we think they do. It's tough I know I have 2 children and they just give you that look that melts you away, but it's only for their benefit, you will probably have a few sleepless nights when you first try, but like everything you'll get thru it and so will she.