Welcome to the Jungle.

"…heading into the jungle and I have no idea when I will come out." What a great description of life. If we're living too predictably and safely, and never risk being changed by our experiences, successes and mistakes, we're probably not having much of a life.

Never fear, A.. You may not have much more than a "glimmer of who you were" before parenthood. And being forced to rise to the occasion is a huge part of that. It's rattling when you're so exhausted, but it's okay. Life is change.

Relish these years as often as you can catch a breath. As an older woman, I can tell you that my close friends and I all recall the early years of parenthood as almost impossibly challenging and exhausting. And the most exhilarating and joyful time we could possibly experience. The wisest teachers keep reminding us that a successful life isn't reaching a destination, but rather the journey itself.

Blessings.

Wow, I do understand how that feels - getting sucked bone dry. You feel like you have nothing more to give and yet you get up the next day and give it all over again.

Just a suggestion, can you get a sitter even once a week for a couple of hours for you to have time for YOU? Sleep, get a massage, go read a magazine at a coffee shop, or my best rejuvenator -- get together with a friend.

I know exactly what you mean! How old is your son? I took my son to work with me too (I was a church secretary) until he was about 7 months old and he would burst into tears at the sight of his play yard. Now I am a stay at home mom and sometimes I really miss my job! Is there a family member who can watch your son at least part time? You're more likely to burn out if you are with your baby 24/7.

My husband is also a teacher, and he works a 2nd job on weekends & breaks. Now that our son is almost 3 (and I'm due with baby #2) he finally admitted that he would not want to trade places with me. It was very satisfying to hear that but doesn't solve the problem! You need to find at least something that is still just for YOU, so you don't lose sight of who you are!

Also it's important to plan a regular date for you and your husband. It's way too easy to start fighting over little things if you never have time to reconnect without kids around. It will be worth the trouble or expense to get away from your son and work towards a stronger marriage.

Good luck, you are not alone!

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I completely understand...when is your down time? I suggest hiring a sitter at least for a few hours once or twice a week if you hubby can't or won't chip in.

I agree with what has been said. You are feeling alone right now and if you exclusively breast feed, even if your husband were there I promise he would still be on your last nerve for just being there and not knowing what to do to help.

Do find a sitter for a few hours, maybe even twice a week. Maybe have a house keeper clean and straighten and do some laundry once a week, so when you come home you alt lease do not have to deal with that.

Get out of the house. Keep the stroller in the car and each afternoon before you go home, find a new park, shopping center, different neighborhood and just push her around while you get a new look around your area.

Saturday morning soccer games and practice, pick up some bagels and go and watch the game. Inform your husband you are just there to watch, he does not need to worry about the 2 of you.

On Sunday mornings go to a bakery and pick up some pastries, you 3 go to a park or a public area and have a quiet breakfast on a blanket..

I am blessed and cursed, all of our family lives in town, so we could at least ask for them to watch our daughter every once in a while. That also helped.

It gets better, the more you get the hang of being a mom. You are not sure what direction you are facing, but it will click for all of you.

Give yourself more credit... You are working 3 jobs and more than 110 hours a week, without days off, between work and home and child and your second "child"... your husband! I'm there as well and just keep looking forward to keep my perspective -- at least 2 of my 3 "kids" will grow up:)

I am hearing jungle sounds right now! Just wanted to let you know you're NOT alone.

When I was married, I felt awful being the low man on the totem pole. I used to feel really mad that my ex was gone all the time working or hanging out with his friends. Looking back, my ex chose to spend so much time away from home because he didn't feel good at home. He felt like more of a man (more respected, more needed) at work, so he stayed there. I'm totally reading this post through my own filter, so none of this may apply to your situation. However, I wish someone had given me this info so that I could have changed some of my perspective. Maybe the results would have been different. I wish I had let my husband know how much I really needed him (without blaming him for being gone - big difference). Acting like Wonder Woman and doing it all, just made him feel useless and drove us apart completely.

Now I know that only I can set boundaries for myself. If I say I'm going to bed at 10pm every night, then that's what I must do instead of staying awake all night cleaning the house or doing laundry. It's not anyone else's fault if I don't do that for myself. Same goes for taking personal time alone.

Words to a spouse might look like this:

"I feel overwhelmed and want some personal alone time at least once a week. What do you think?"

"I miss you and feel sad we don't have date night. What do you think?"

Then sit there silently and give him a chance to come up with ideas to fix this problem. Guys want problems to solve. This helps them feel like men. Let him be the super hero for you, instead of you taking the super hero role from him.

I hope some of this resonates.