Weird Loveys/Security Items?

Have you seen this: http://www.loveybabies.com/? It seems crazy/creepy at first, but I've heard from moms in you situation that it really works.

My son does the same thing. I thought he was the only one. haha! He did grow out of it, esp now since his hair is long enough that he can play with it himself. I do notice when he gets tired that he will play with his hair for comfort, or when i give him hugs etc he will play with my hair. We make a game out of it now at bedtime and he seems ok with it. Good luck!

My son did that exact same thing when he was nursing and I had long hair. I'm sure it was comforting to him, ( it smelled like mom, was soft and silky, etc.) He got in the habit of wrapping it around his little finger and then yanking hard! Needless to say, as sweet and cute as it started out, I quickly got tired of having my hair pulled out by the roots, so I started wearing my hair back and up all the time, and eventually cut it short until after he was weaned. He reached for it for weeks, if not months! I tried to attach him to another lovey, but none took hold until well after he was weaned. I would not want her to turn to her own hair, she could develop a habit of pulling out her own hair out of nervousness, and that could hurt her as she gets older. I would try to get your hair out of her reach as much as possible, and replace it with as much love and affection as you can muster until she forgets about it. Good luck.

I am not sure on the weaning but I thought at least this could give you a laugh, one of my good friends son has a lovely that is a Red sock! Yes that's right his left sock from a red pair that he had a long while back is his lovey. He doesn't go anywhere without it!! Too cute!

Around that age my son was carrying around a business card from my insurance agent. He would kiss the man's picture over and over and take it to bed every night. He lost interest around 2 years old.
I think it's very normal to like hair- I think it's just a texture thing. Your daughter will grow out of it sooner than later, but one thing you could do is put your hair up and give her a rub each night instead. My son loves it when I rub his tummy before bed, and he asks to have his feet tickled. He likes anything soft and ticklish on his skin.
Another thing, you could also start explaining to her that mommy loses hair when she pulls on it and that gives you an owie. She probably understands a lot more than you think- if you keep repeating this she will get it eventually. Also keep offering her new things that have different textures, she may end up liking something different

My fourth became attached to my husband's sillky ubderwear. He actually started at 6 months sucking on the ones he was wearing.
Maybe put your hair in a tight braid or up out of your face when you hold her. If nothing else get it cut short for a while. I really have no idea, sorry.

I have a friend whose daughter is attached to the mom's hair (like your's). My son is 5, and he has a blankie (very common) and a stuffed animal's red scarf. He calls the scarf "scarfie" and keeps it with him all the time.

My daughter used to hold one of my fingers or thumb and rub my nail with her finger. I think she liked the smooth feeling of the surface of my nail. Now, she has a silky blankie and wraps it around her thumb and rubs it with her finger. She also uses a pacifier. I helped her to get to sleep by letting her hold my finger/thumb for almost a year. My husband and I stayed consistent with a bedtime routine and gave her the paci and blankie and used a mobile that plays music to get her comfortable with those comfort items. She is VERY attached to her blankie. Now, all three of our children have a regular bedtime routine and it works well. Clean teeth/use potty, take vitamin, get into pjs, bedtime stories and prayer, and good-night hugs and kisses all around. Then they get into bed (or we put them in bed) and we put on night lights and the mobiles and turn off the big light and it's sweet dreams from there. Jacob is 4 1/2, Marianna is 2 1/2 and Andre is one.
I hope you can find a replacement comfort item for your daughter. Be consistent. Good luck! ~J.

My niece used to rub your neck! It tickled! I also had a friend who's daughter was attached to random kitchen spoons and such!

You're very lucky the item is on your body so you can just keep it out of her reach. I can't pry my daughter's balnky away at 4....but thankfully she leaves it home most of the time now.

She's dependent on your hair, and you seem a little dependent on her needing your hair, or you would have nipped this the first few times she pulled it. Which is totally understandable and sweet. I'm guilty as well, since I could just "lose" my daughter's blanket when she isn't looking and I know she would survive, but I haven't.

To ween, you would just let her have your hair less and less until you never let her have it-meanwhile gradually getting her used to a new soft blanky or something, or you could go cold turkey and she may cry for a few days.
If I were you I would do it. It seems like at 17 months she needs to see that "momma is her own person" even though you love her.

Since you are still soothing her at night (she is old enough to sleep through the night on her own) and holding her to put her to sleep (I assume if she has your hair) sounds like you have chosen the style of helping her sleep. This is your right and your choice and the habits you are forming for her.

She's only young once and you're the mom, so you yourself may want to continue the soothing, and in that case, since you're there anyway, why not let her have your hair? But don't feel bad if you decide to not let her have your hair. You'd be giving her the gift of feeling happy and secure on her own with a blanket or other item. She CAN sooth herself and it may get much harder on her to break the habit later.

HI
My daughter is 21 month, she does exactly same thing. And in addition to that she sucks her thumb. So when she is tired or we going to sleep, one hand in the mouth and one holding my hair. She has long hair so sometimes i manage to make her hold her own hair when she going crazy with mine and i feel like half of my hair is gone. She loves her soft toys but its never been comforting to her like to many kids. And in one way i am glad, her little cousan really attached to her blankit, and if she will forget it somewhere it is a big big problem and alot of crying. My hair always with me so no drama.

Now is the time to provide a boundary for your little one. Keep your hair out of her reach. Talk with her about the reasons you want her to leave your hair alone and the reasons she likes to handle it. Tell her she can choose something else that will also be comforting to touch and then provide her with several choices. She may take some time to choose. Just make them available and don't push her to choose. Or she may not want/need another lovey.

It's important for mothers to maintain our own personal body, spiritual, emotional integrity with our babies/children by having boundaries. If we are uncomfortable for any reason with what they're doing we need to stop them from doing it before it becomes a habit. Yes, it may be cute to begin with and we as mothers often feel that we must give our babies/children what we perceive they need but we also have to provide for our own needs. Not having our hair played with and/or pulled is a legitimate need.

In summary: 1) Stop letting her play with your hair. 2)let her choose an alternative or not.

Ouch! That sounds sweet and painful.

My youngest had a board with a face magic markered on it. "Plankey"
Took that thing everywhere. Slept with it.

Oldest had a board too, but didn't sleep with it and carry it every freaking where..his was "Blankey" He didn't want a face on his. lol But, it came with us sometimes too.

Boy, did we get some looks.

Pati

Oh, and the wrestler action figure of Hollywood (Paul) Hulk Hogan. Youngest was sure it was his uncle...was a resemblance..Paul. So people would ask him who the figure was and he'd say "Unkie Paw".

We were almost famous, sort of?

As far as boundaries, etc. I try to sort it out...is it a "Thing" or "In Passing" also known as this "This, too, shall pass" pile.

I doubt she'll be running home from college wanting to pull your hair out, though that might be a good idea, come to think of it...not you, but someone I don't like...hmm...

Personally, I think this time of life is all about creating safety and maybe, for your comfort and sanity, a few reminders of OUCH, gentle touch she might find something that didn't say ouch more appealing. (A wig? lol)

Sounds like it would be fine if it weren't painful and making you bald. ?

I bet that will be a fond memory for her, though, what a sweet thing.

I got a few womps in the head nursing a child hugging a board, let me tell you. It passed.

Good luck!!!

Pati again

Why don't you try buying her a baby doll with long hair?

No suggestions for weaning off your hair, but, I swear, my son's lovey is my breasts. He holds them lovingly to go to sleep. It's cute now, but, a little weird too. I have to stop him from reaching down my shirt to fondle me all the time (this is finally getting better). Last night, he went to sleep holding one of his trucks, so, maybe things are changing!

C.~

I enjoyed reading this post and the responses... I posted once a while back about my son's weird lovey. My son is now 4, but somewhere along the line, I think way back when we were nursing, he started reaching up and sticking his fingers in my mouth. I liken what he does to rubbing on a blankie. It's the tactile sensation that they get used to and use to soothe themselves.

Well, he still does it, albeit with many more parameters these days. Hands have to be freshly washed, fingernails trimmed, and only during snuggle time or a little before sleep (I lay with him until he goes to sleep.)

Yes, it's totally gross, and definitely weird! But I know he won't do it forever - it's already getting less and less. But right now, I am just relishing the last moments of him still being little. I know one day all too soon, when he's 16 and asking me for my car keys, I'll think back to these days and wish I could just snuggle him on my lap while, one by one, he sticks his fingers in my mouth. LOL

hi C., my daughter is 3 yrs old and ever since she was 4 months she has to pinch/poke/squeeze my lower lip to go to sleep!!!! I've had quite a few sore bloody cuts to my lower lip!!! As much as I hate it and want to complain about it my mom and grandmother tell me I did the same exact thing!!!! They say I simply grew out of it by age 4 or 5...

my son who is 2 years old still does this and I've tried to stop it. Unfortunately he's started playing with his hair now but still goes for mine. He has a blankie and pacifier that he loves but still wants hair. Someone said that I should go get one of those hair accessories that you clip into your hair. It's a thought. I'm curious to see what other people suggest. I have been telling my son that it hurts when he does this to me but it hasn't seemed to help.

I love reading this! My daughter is almost 5 and is still attached to my hair!!!! Every night before she goes to bed, she needs to sit with me had have hair. She comes into my bed in the middle of the night looking for hair. She is not rough. When she was younger she used to have my hair a lot, now just at night.

If I have it up in a clip or pony tail, she will always remove the clip or pony tail. When I got for a hair cut, she always says Don’t change you hair!

It is funny, my friends and I get a kick out of it. We try to offer her other people’s hair, but none will do. I did try to buy her a doll with brown hair, like mine. But that did not work!

I figure they grow up so fast, I try to enjoy the quite time together with her. I’m sure she will stop one day, and then I will miss it.

My son is 2.5 years old and likes to play with my hair. Sometimes when I am holding him he holds some of my hair in his hand. Most times, I tell him not to grab it too hard or stop playing with my hair. If I wear it in a pony tail he likes playing with that too. I notice that he does play with my hair more when he is tired or not feeling well. I am not too worried about it because it is not all of the time. It is better than an pacifier. Try to see what happens when you put your hair in a ponytail. May be if it is not right there for her to touch she may try to stop playing with it. may be another thing to do is to cut your hair short unless your really like long hair which i understand. Good luck.