Weaning a 21 Months Old

Weaning is so hard on everyone. Here are some things you could try - http://www.kellymom.com/bf/weaning/weaning_techniques.html

I know that feeling and it isn't pleasant. I went ahead and just told my almost 2 year old the milk was, "all gone" Then had Dad take over the bedtime routine for awhile, because this was one of the last times (we were down to one or two feedings by this time) still in our routine. I changed up our schedule and let little guy fall asleep in the car or in a stroller instead of nursing...changing the routine helped a lot with distracting him away from nursing. Definitely offer milk in a cup, and everytime asked to nurse use the same words and indicate that you are sorry, but the milk's "all gone" (or something to that effect) or maybe, "Mommy hurts, can't nurse." Be firm...you are part of the equation that is important in this relationship and little guy needs to know that you won't cave.

Later with new baby (and its not painful again) you can explain that the milk is for the new baby, and he is too big. I had only one child ask to taste after weaned. So I put a little milk on my finger...not bad...but not interested after this.

Super Nanny had a great show on this. Maybe you could find it. It was an Aferican American couple and her son was 2 and it was really both that didn't want to let go. I think they did a magic sippy cup or something.

Ok, I know it is hard to wean. I know when she sees you she wants to nurse, don't let her. You must distract her and give her a cup with milk or give her a toy. You may have to introduce new activities during this time. Fill the sink with water and a little soap. Let her wash, swish tupperware. The activity that you use to distract her needs to be something she does alone (u watch from afar) Also, it will help the weaning process if you can have someone keep her for long periods of time during the day. She will not want to nurse other people (dad or grandma). They can offer her a cup of milk. Weaning is hard. I know she cries for you and roots. If you let her nurse , you set yourself back. If you can get through two days of no nursing, your progress should speed up from there. Hang in there and you can do it!!!

I weaned my daughter at 17 months and like you I had almost no milk left and it hurt! Like some of the other moms have said, I told her that I didn't have any milk for her right now, but I bought some Munchkin straw cups and gave her water in them while I cuddled with her in the same chair that she nursed in. The straw cups require a lot of suction to get the water out and I think it helped satisfy that sucking desire she had. For her I think it was mostly a comfort thing though so I guess you'll have to decide what's really motivating his desire to nurse to know how to respond in a way that will work for him.

CL-I only have time for a super quick answer....

I weaned my daughter at 18 months as I was going to be out of the country for 8 days without her. We were down to basically nights only at that point (I still had PLENTY of milk). She had not used a pacifier for over six months at that point...I ended up giving it back to her at nap and night time only. Some babies/toddlers need that soothing sensation more than others. See if you can find a substitut, but I agree that you have to be the adult and be consistent.

A lot of women I know are willing to tandem nurse their new baby and toddler. My toddlers weaned when I was pregnant because of the milk supply and taste of the milk but I was willing to nurse again when the new baby came. They never asked, though.

If you are unwilling to nurse when the new baby comes, then have nursing times- say wake, nap time and bed time. Tell her that she may not nurse except at these specific times. After a week eliminate one of the nursings. Eliminate another a week later, and the next week eliminate another. You may have to have one nursing every day for 2-3 weeks before eliminating another. Does she have a special blanket? Have her hold it while you nurse her and then when the nursings are over you can cuddle her while holding that blanket. Hopefully she will seek comfort in the blanket or stuffed animal then in your breast!

S.

I weaned my 22 month old when I was about 10 weeks pregnant due to the same reason as you. He was only nursing once when he woke up in the morning, but boy he was really attached to that nursing session! With weaning him, I would tell him that Mommy's milk was "all gone," did he want breakfast or his milk from the fridge? He would protest and cry for about 20 minutes, then he would finally cave in and eat or drink something else. He did this off and on for about 2 weeks (worse in the beginning). He was also particularly clingy during the weaning period. I would also recommend wearing clothing tight around your neck (like a t-shirt) and a sports bra. He wasn't as tempted when he couldn't get to it himself. :) Now it is only two months later, and he points at me in the morning and says "no Mommy's milk" and we get up for him to eat/drink something else.

You're going to have to try a bit of "tough love" here. Try distracting her with a story, a game, or some other form of activity she likes with you. Keep offering her milk, maybe flavored to get her to like it. Lots of yogurt is good.
Tell her nursing is only for bedtime and only for a few minutes, and then STICK TO IT. You cannot cave for her sake. It would be best if you get this solved before the new baby comes, but you know that. Remember that you're the adult here, and be firm with her about this.
Congratulations on a lovely child and another to come.

I had the same issues with my oldest. He was 19 months when we found out I was pregnant with number 2. I talked to my doctor about it and he said it was ok. He said that my milk would turn to what the new baby needed. He also said my supply would decrease at some point and Matthew would lose interest. I stopped when I hit the 8th month - as my 1st was a month early and I didn't want to take any chances. We just finally managed to switch him to bottles - he didn't really like sippy cups. Find out what she likes, try all different bottles,sippy cups. I think she will eventually lose interest - when she's not getting anything from it. Mine nursed for comfort more than milk. We got it down to night-time nursing only, then had my husband put him down with a bottle. I see that someone suggested a pacifier - I do not recommend that at her age. I wish I had taken it away from my youngest very early - he had a very difficult time stopping, and now he will need braces due to it.
Good luck!!

my strong willed daughter self weaned at 15 months when i was pregnant. what little milk was left changed taste (as the dr predicted) and she didn't want it anymore. i couldn't believe there was no fight at all. be patient a little longer. good luck!

oh, as far as not drinking milk - we had the same problem. i think that it is hard to change from sweet breastmilk to unflavored milk. we went to vanilla soy milk first, then started mixing soy with whole milk and finally down to straight milk. we also did 75% plain milk/25% chocolate milk. this seemed to work much better than just giving plain milk. also, try giving a sippy cup with a straw. apparently it's more fun and not like your replacing the breast since they get to be a "big kid". love my playtex insulated sippers

She is strong willed, but you are the parent and must be stronger. She is old enough to understand the word "No". She probably also understands about boo boos. Try putting bandaids on your breasts and tell her, "sorry mommy has boo boos". You may also have to leave her with a trusted adult for the weekend and have a night or two without her. You and your husband will get some much needed time alone and she will be just fine.

Hi C L
I feel your pain. Your little one is old enough to understand "no" and you should begin telling her that. It may just be a security thing or her since she is most likely not getting any nourishment at this time. Just kindly and sweetly tell her no more and stay strong- if not- when you have your next one it iwll be a battle for the breast. Make is as easy on yourself as you can to prepare for your new one.
good luck and blessings

You have great suggestions so far so I will just add a different perspective. If she is a strong-willed child, you have to decide now who is in charge. My daughter is strong-willed and all grown up now, so we have lots of experience with the strength of that will. If you let her think she can win just one time, she will remember that and will do whatever it takes to win again.

Don't ever let her see you get frustrated. Very calmly state the way it will be. If she has a tantrum or whatever, just say calmly that you will be in the next room and she can come in when she has calmed down. It took everything out of us to stay calm, but we didn't want her to learn that we had any "buttons" to push.

Tell her no and stick to it.