We Have a BITER!!

I feel for you. I had a big time biter. I think for my son there were a few factors. It started at MDO and the room was too small for the 6 kids. At the daycares, he was bored, tired and also overwhelmed and we were asked to leave because he was breaking the skin and parents were upset. We finally got him at an in-home daycare with the same amount of kids as MDO, but it works. He is able to sleep when he needs to and is not rushed from one activity to another. Plus he is with kids of different ages. I think he is just more comfortable where he is now. I hope that you are able to get it fixed, because it can be 4-6 months for some kids to grow out of it.

Thanks,
C.

I know this won't really work if she isn't doing it at home, but I had a friend who had her son bite HER once. She said she actually bit him back. I know it sounds kind of harsh, and she said she didn't even bite hard enough to leave marks, but just to let him know how it felt. He never did it again.

I know that seems kind of extreme, but another thing is putting her in time-out when she throws temper-tantrums. My son was able to do time out at her age, so she's old enough to understand it. It will teach her self control because she has to sit in one place.

Try to do playdates with her, where you see her around other kids. Hope something I said helps!

-A.

She is at that age where she uses her teeth for many things, opening boxes, etc. She has discovered a lever. She is also old enough to get a simple, we don't do that. A repeat garners timeout.

Striking or hitting or biting a child simply reinforces that behavior. If you can they can.

I agree it is heartbreaking when they learn these socialization lessons, but we know they are better off for it.
Try Dr Karps Happiest Toddler on the Block, it may give you some insight into helping your child both at daycare and at home.
K. w
thenestingplace

Hi E.-

My daughter wasn't the biter, she was the bit-ee. She was about the same age, maybe a little older, and some little boy thought her arms were chew-toys. My poor DD would come home with teeth marks indented in her arms and he broke the skin a few times. It happened about 4 times and eventually they asked his parents to find another center. Just wanted to give you the heads up that they might ask you to leave if she doesn't stop. One thing they tried giving this boy was teethers and of course the re-directing didn't work.
My daughter did go through a phase where she would put her mouth on us like she was going to bite down and we would state firmly "NO BITE" and she got the message. Once I had to flick her on her mouth and that REALLY got her attention. Needless to say she didn't get into that habit for very long.

Hi E., I also have a home daycare. What I did when I had a biter was this and it worked. You get a bib that is the kind made of terry cloth that streches over the head like a shirt so she can't take it off. (If she can get it off use a diaper pin and pin it to her shirt so she can't take it off.)If you can't find that kind of bib use a regular cloth one and put it on her and show her she can bite it. you put it on yourself first and bite it to show her. Then put it on her and let her bite it. It takes a little time but consistancy is the trick. It worked for a little guy I watch and was going through this just recently. Also before this, this same little guy was getting bitten by a different child I had and I almost had to let him go because he was bitng everyone and would not stop. They ended up moving so I didn't have to deal with him biting anymore. I feel both times it was due to teething.
good luck,
Lonie
Lonie

Sharing is a concept that children this age just don't get. I'm surprised your daycare is even saying that. I think for now it is all about redirecting behavior, but sounds like you already know this.

I'm really writing because my son was on the receiving end of a bite at his MDO program. The bite was so bad that it punctured his skin, caused a bruise and I had to take him to the pediatrician for antibiotics to prevent infection. As bad as it was, and as horrible as I felt for my son, I also felt bad for the mother of the biter. I can't imagine what it must be like having no control over such an issue. I didn't blame her. I say this so you know that someone else might feel the way I do. I hope it gets better soon.

E.,

My daughter (now 4.5) was a biter too - she did it for about 6 mos (from 18-24 mos) and would only bite two people (me and her closest little friend at daycare). It was an in-home daycare ran by two grandparents (sweetest people in the world) - they would tell my daughter the same thing (don't bite people, just food) and would also put her in time out - just away from the other kids. I didn't have a problem with that b/c she needed to learn it was not good to bite.

Once she moved to her current "school", an in-home preschool where there were more kids her age and older (she was the oldest at the first place), she stopped and never did it again (so far).

Try not to stress out - this is normal. Some kids are biters and some are not. Daycares, etc. are used to that - and they can handle it. You just make sure you are very apologetic and ask for any advice they can offer - just so you don't seem like you don't care :) (which you obviously do care!).

Hang in there, this too shall pass.

T.

Ericka, I run an in home day care, and I can see both sides of this problem. I think removing her, even in the crib for a minute or 2, could help, but I am wondering why she is having to defend herself so much? Are there too many kids in the room? Maybe not legally, but for her personality? Also, does she seem to be getting enough attention, or are the teachers so busy with the little babies that the older ones are just left to play for themselves most of the day? If she gets attention when she bites, has she figured out that it seems to get her something that she wants? Honestly, I find after 12 years of this ,that kids bite when they are bored, or overwhelmed, and so I would like to suggest more prevention than anything. I know it is not the day care's fault, but if this continues, my suggestion would be something smaller for her, and of course, I suggest an in home care, with kids all different ages. The younger ones learn a lot from the older kids, and I just LOVE the atmosphere I can provide. Let me know if you have any other questions, I hope you find the best solution for you and your sweetheart!! ~A.~