Was This Really So Bad?!

I hate it when people think like this. It's ok for me to completely ignore you, but when it suits my needs and you don't go completely overboard to see me, well that makes me mad.

Please. You are completely right and she is a fruitcake. I think people need to learn that friendships are a bit like a marriage. If both parties don't participate then they might just get divorced!

I've let a lot of friends go that way. If they aren't making an effort then I stop to. I want to save my time for people that actually give a damn. :)

She's a fruitake and you have already lost her as a friend.
Do not respond to her anymore. You have tried.

I'd write her off NOW!! I wouldn't have even bothered to respond with any explanation. She doesn't deserve it!!

You should "UN-friend" her and move on. Doesn't really sound like she's much of a friend anyways, so it doesn't sound like much of a loss.

Good luck!

Step away from the fruitcake.

The only mistake you've made was replying to her (more than once it seems) and feeling you had to justify your decision not to contact her. You will only ramp up her drama if you explain yourself any more.

We live near Washington, D.C., and more than once, various friends have come to D.C. as tourists but not been in touch. I might have loved a chance to see them but I understand that they might have been moving fast, or coming for just one day to some particular exhibit, etc. Anyone who lives in a major tourist destination really needs to understand this sort of thing and not be huffy when someone doesn't call -- especially someone who is now mostly a Facebook "friend."

If all this is exactly as you say it is, then obviously she's a nut case. Even a close friend doesn't get "mad" when you don't have time to see them on a quick trip. Ignore her forevermore.

Sounds like a one sided friendship to me. She is a fruitcake, not to mention selfcentered. Don't play into her pitty party game. Just let it go. She is in the wrong. It is drama, the exact reason I don't have a FB page (not trying to criticize any one who does).

I had a friend whom I've known since I was born. She and I lost contact for several years. We started to talk here and there again (maybe 4 times per year) and eventually I realized I was the only one making calls. It seemed everytime I did call she was always busy or had to run and would cut the call short so, I stopped calling her. One day I saw her DH at a store and he said, "Give .... a call". So, I called her a few days later only to be the cushion to her pin. She starts off by saying, "Long time no hear" and she proceeded to tell me that 5 or 6 months prior a good friend of hers (no one I knew) had passed. The entire time she had an attitude. I realized that I didn't care for her friendship from that moment on. Everytime I see her I am nice and friendly but, I never call and don't initiate getting together, nothing. She on the other hand ALWAYS says, "I'll give you a call in a few weeks". I'm not sure why but, she does it every time. I just smile and say, "Take care".

Don't let people get under your skin or bring the worst out in you. Give your energy to people who value you and enjoy your time.

Take care.

she's a fruitcake.
but let the back and forth go. clearly her emotions are out of whack. there's no need for you to feel bad or apologize, but pointing out to her that she's in the wrong (she is) won't do any good either. tell her you're sorry she's upset but that communication is a two-way street, and leave the ball in her court.
i myself have no patience for friends who are this high-maintenance. i just have to love them from afar.
khairete
S.

OMG. She is NOT in reality. We are not in 6th grade anymore.

To be honest, I would probably just unfriend her and be done with it. I get so tired of FB drama- its like being in high school all over again.

She's nutty. You are in the right here. As far as I'm concerned, you went above and beyond to try to maintain a relationship with her and she totally blew you off.

She's not your friend. And I'm not sure if I'd do anything at this point. I wouldn't email her back. She's not worth the effort.

Yep, she's being a fruitcake.

No, there's not a relationship to save.

Don't respond at all. She's going to ignore your feelings on the matter and just continue to berate you. Who needs friends like that?

Dawn

You don't want to lose a friend? Sorry, you don't have a friend! You have someone you used to be friends with! She's picking a fight, OR she's trying to say she would have been hospitable (without her actually having to be so). You've already explained that it was a quickly arranged trip, you had only a certain amount of time to spend with your son (who I'm sure wouldn't have loved spending time with your old friend), and she was out of town. Most importantly, she hadn't responded at all to you.

I wouldn't pursue it, tempting as it is to clear it up (which probably won't work - you're right, she wants the drama) or re-explain your point of view (which will only get her to push her philosophy once again) or criticize her (tempting, but not likely to work). Ignore her, and/or delete her from your contacts - what exactly are you gaining from this relationship at this point anyway??

A.,
Absolutely not,she sounds like a "one way street"friend.I wouldnt even call her crazy,Id say shes a brat,that doesnt take her inconsistancies as a friend into consideration,but expects her friends to remain loyal to her.You were there with your son,had a good time and thats that.I would NOT have made a special trip for someone who hasnt given me the time of day for two years.Funny how shes up to date on what youre doing day to day but doesnt comment or say hi.Shes either insecure and thinks youre angry or is just selfish and nosey,either way,who needs that s***?????!!!!!Id rather hang out with MICKEY MOUSE at Disney world.Im sorry if you miss her and youre hurt though,I understand.you can do better.(you deserve better)

Honestly, you lost that friend a while ago and she was the one doing the disconnecting. She has been living her life completely without you for years now and only jumps back into your friendship to get on your case?? Its time to forget about this woman-she is NOT a good friend to you. Just stop replying to her messages. You took the bait and played into her drama and now its time to end it. Not even one last text-just dissapear like she did. Its all part of growing up.

Ignore - move on - enjoy your life and stop worrying about this person.

And de-friend them from FB - then you won't have to deal with her craziness.

how old is this girl? 13? PAHLEASE.

She's not a friend. She's drama. If you want that drama in your life - try to "mend the fences" - if not - then remove her from your friends list on FB and be done with it. You stated your reasons. She KNOWS she's been a bad friend, that's why she's trying pass the blame off on someone else, other things, other circumstances...anything but the real reason - she's NOT a friend or if she is, she's a self-centered, immature one.

Do you want this continued drama in your life? If the answer is no. Do like I said - simply delete her. Life will be less complicated that way.

You are right, she is a 'LOONEY TOON' & she isn't a friend by my standards anywayz!!! Loose her!!! I have friends that I don't talk with or see for years @ a time & they are simply happy to see or hear from me when our paths do cross, we laugh over not being in touch but feeling just the way we did when we do see/hear each other again! Real friends don't chastise one another for such a stupid situation! Her life, friends, family are no more important than your special time with your son!!!

Oh man, my best friend lives abroad, and we still don't get mad if we happen to be in the same country, but don't look each other up. People have stuff going on.

She sounds like an obligatory friend. I agree with Suz T.

I think this calls for a Buh Bye!

I like your "fruitcake" comment.

Yep, walk away. She has repeatedly ignored you, except when bashing/ battling you.

You are correct, & here's something to think about: I don't contact anyone personally on FB if I don't talk to them regularly. In my opinion, contact on FB is less than real & is not any different from reading an entertainment page. I also don't post time away from home....until I return - all to help lessen the chance of burglary.

To go so long without contact....says a lot. Don't dance to her tune. I think you've already lost her as a friend....

This is not a friendship. She sounds toxic & dramatic. Cut her off.

You've done nothing wrong.
You have 2 choices -- you can ignore it or you can call her on it.
I'd call her on it. It's probably your only chance to tell her how you feel. Tell her that you'd tried to contact her and got no response so you figured that she didn't want to be friends. Tell her that 2 years of no contact is rude and selfish. Then tell her that she had no right to be upset that you didn't contact her.
If she wants to be friends, so be it. If she wants to be upset - so be it.
LBC

It sounds like you have grown away from this friend. Really, I wouldn't even continue to communicate but that's me. It sounds like she has no clue to what you are saying and is pretty self absorbed. I mean, you only had 'her' to call so therefore you should have called her - that's is rude and selfish - you had your SON & Disney, that's plenty. Any way, you should do what you are comfortable with. If you feel you want to continue this friendship, then by all means send her message, but you will have to probably apologize to get back on her good side.

Getting older and dealing with long-time friends has been a big eye opener for me. I found I was putting expectations on them and was continuously disappointed. So now, I don't do that and accept they really are not 'friends' but now acquaintances.

i'd say that shes crazy but theres no sense in making her mad and writing her off since you don't have to deal with hr ever and it might be fun to catch up at a reunion one time without being angry at eachother. So I'd send a fake "I'm sorry that I upset you, it really was with good intentions, lets make a deal that next time we'll contact eachother"
If you had regular contact or it was an actual friend my response would be diferent but no sense in burning bridges J. for the sake of maknig a point to a crazy old friend

She baited you and you bit. Can't change that now.

I simply would have responded that I was sorry; time was limited and you believed she was out of town. What you did was basically start an argument.

Who knows if the friendship still exists. Only time will tell.

Fruitcake. With hard sauce.