This was years ago but I just happen to have been thinking about it lately.
When my dad died my uncle (mom's stepbrother) took care of us alot. He was really terrific. A place we always begged him to take us was the pool 5 or 6 times month. He was only about 20 at the time and my mom made him promise not to let my brother and me out of his site so he never did. He always respected her wishes. At the pool brought us both with him through the men's locker room. It was usually not a busy place. He he exempted me as a little girl from showering, but he my brother would shower--turned facing the other way, while he had me waiting already in my suit. After a couple minutes he's wave me on through (the shower room to the pool area) and they'd quickly slip on their trunks and follow. I know my mom was fine with the arrangement because wherever we went on our outings i told her word for word everything that happened. There certainly didn't seem to me anything 'wrong' about it. Looking backwards now I think it seems different to me because I was this little girl seeing a totally naked man like that. Of course even then I could tell he was goodlooking as a man. I think it was only once or twice he turned sideways slightly and I caught a glimpse of his 'package'.
For some reason lately I thought ot these times again. Knowing what I know now about life,was there something more to this? Was he using me to be an exhibitionist or something? Or it just me? To this date there has never been anything odd about him. i was just wondering
If he had intended to flash his package at you, you wouldn't need to be asking whether he was intentional or not. You'd have known immediately.
I agree with Christina O. Sounds like he was doing his best to take care of you.
Sounds like he was being a really sweet uncle, and doing the best he could to keep 2 young children safe in a public place. Far better than him sending you alone into a locker room or making you wait outside.
I agree... this not only sounds totally innocent, but that your uncle was going above and beyond to protect your safety.
I think you're simply applying the worst case scenario to an innocent situation. As you said, there's never been anything odd about him. I grew up next door to an actual exhibitionist and if that was your uncle's motive, you would have seen a lot more than just a glimpse of his privates.
It sounds like this was the only way that your uncle was able to get you into the community pool without running the risk of leaving you unattended. Honestly, if your uncle were a pedophile or sexual molester, it sounds like he had plenty of opportunity to act on those impulses. But he didn't so he probably is just a decent 20-year old guy who wanted to treat his neice and nephew to a fun day swimming. It's hard to say for sure but there's a good chance that if he left you unattended at the community pool while him and your brother had showered up, you probably could have been approached by some guy who truly is a sexual predator and you would have found their approach is usually not that subtle.
Do you consider yourself a voyeur because you 'caught a glimpse' of his member? I doubt it. Simple explanation, he might have turned to be sure he could see you. What were you doing? Had you stepped aside so he couldn't see you, so he had to turn? Were you too quiet? If children are quiet it is usually because they were up to no good, so maybe he was 'just checking' on you. Maybe you are reading too much into this because today we see so much horror on the news and Internet and it can get in your head. As the others have said, I believe he was just trying to honor his word and his sister.
Unfortunately there are some situations these days that imply that something sexual was involved and no one can do anything anymore without those nagging thoughts. He sounded like he was trying to help the best he could, keep and eye on you guys and since you are able to tell it, he kept you safe and alive.And it's nice to remember any good looking young man being helpful I am not sure my own twenty year old would do something like that at all to help-he'd have lost you so he could go out and ogle the girls. You can't brush up against anyone anymore without thinking everyone has to run to the shrink. Relax and don't worry about it anymore.
Maybe you are just reading to much into the situation. He probably thought that little kids wouldn't remember much anyway and since he was told to not let you out of his sight, that was his only option he could think of. But I can understand, now why you would think about this. Sometimes, we just remember certain things about our childhood and analyze.
He sounds like a young, childless man doing the best he could to comply with your mom's guidelines. He was smart enough NOT to send you into the locker room alone. He was doing the best he knew how. I don't see anything wrong with the way he handled it.
As a PP stated, just the fact that you're questioning it means nothing happened. If he was a pervert, you would know that you'd been flashed or treated inappropriately, knowing what you know now.
I agree with all if the answers I have read. Do not cause yourself strife over this. It appears you are only a victim of akward circumstances and nothing more. Feel free to hold your uncle in high regard. He took a difficult situation and did the best he could. The fact that he did this at 20 years old is extremely commendable. Unless there were other incidents to go along with this I would suggest putting those details out if your mind and focusing on his kindness and the love you have for him as well as the enjoyable times you shared.
I think he was trying to do as your mom wished, not be an exhibitionist. He probably just thought you were too little anyway but shouldn't be in the shower room with them.
He was a good guy at 20 to be so helpful. Three years ago I was spoken to for bringing my 6 year old into the ladies swim locker at the pool. I did anyway.
what a difficult line for him to walk, and what a good guy he is to do it. today he'd probably get arrested.
normal life includes occasional events where nudity occurs and packages are viewed. don't apply nefarious motives where none are implied.
if he wanted to flash you, he could really have done so.
khairete
S.
My guess is that a 20 yr uncle was doing the best he could at the time and the accidental and occasional view of the side profile of his "package" was an oversight of mature judgement on his part. Not to discount that I think the majority of men have a little "exhibitionist" in them, I don't think in your case he was trying to be malicious.
My stepdad "accidentally" dropped his towel in front of me a couple of times when I was about 11. Bad judgement call? Yes. Life changing experience for me? No.
I am sorry for the loss of your father. From the story your provided, it sounds like a young man doing what he could to deal with an awkward situation.
It sounds like he was just doing his best to follow your mothers wishes.
I think he was just doing the best that he could. Your dad probably would have ended up doing something similar as it would not have been good to send you in alone. My husband is a stay at home dad and take our 4 yr old to the pool and tries his best to hide her from the other guys. Don't worry yourself about this.
It sounds like he was being a good uncle to me. Our society is so funny about nudity - it sounds to me like he was just showering and trying to watch you at the same time.
It sounds like he was doing his best to keep you in view and follow the pool rules.
I look back at situations in my childhood and wonder these kinds of things too, but, no, it doesn't sound like anything wrong to me. In fact, it sounds like he was doing the very best he could in the situation and taking great strides to protect you, by not allowing you to go alone into the women's room, turning away from you to shower, not requiring you to shower, having you leave while they slipped on their suits. We see SO MUCH these days to scare us about child predators, but the truth is that by and large MOST people are good people.
OMG! I think you are reading this way off base. You need to remember that back when we were little, there was no such thing as a "family changing rooms". My boys and I had to use them and shared changing rooms. I think your uncle was as discrete enough from the circumstances that he was placed by his sister and not himself. It's very hard to be in a situation as a young man with two children. He tried hard enough, however, you are the one that did the sneak peek and not him.
Nothing wrong. You're uncle was just being a good guy to a couple of kids.
How else can a man change, shower himself and the kids and not to get naked???? And all of that while keeping an eye on the kids???? His main job was to keep an eye on you two so no pervert can get to you while he is taking shower or changing your brother.
I go to the bathroom and change my tampons while my 3 y/o is with me! Because I do not want him unsuperwised in the house alone! It takes a sec for something happen to a kid.
I do not know if you are a parent yet, but when you will be - you'll understand how impossible the situaations can be sometimes where the modesty and safety clash and you have to chose between the two. Safety always wins!
Eh, at a pool people have differing degrees of modesty. I'd be concerned if he did it elsewhere, but in a pool locker room, I wouldn't be concerned unless there were other factors which you say there aren't. I know people who go camping out in the wilderness and drop their pants to poo and bathe naked in the river. I wouldn't feel comfortable doing it, but it is camping, and for the situation, it's appropriate.
