Warning: Potty Training Question...may Be Graphic :)

My daughter was potty trained at 2 yrs., but going poop was very hard to do on the potty too. I just let her do her poops in a diaper. Oddly enough, she never pooped in her pants. She would ask for me to put on a diaper, and go behind a door and do her business. I didn't make a big deal about it because i knew she would become constipated and be in pain otherwise. She does have hard bowel movements and still does; not a big veggie/fruit lover. I don't know if maybe this has something to do with it or it is just a coincidence.

Let it go and make him feel comfortable. He won't be wearing diapers to college...let's hope :)

Lots of luck and patience!

Hi K.,
I had this exact same problem with my oldest who is now 8. He'd hold it for up to 5 days! He'd get so whiney and want to be carried everywhere after 3 or 4 days. He'd also not want to sit in a warm bath because it would make him have to go. So we now have a couple (although a bit disgusting!) family stories about 'snakes in the bath tub' and being at a vacation cabin and forcing him to walk naked around the house outside crying and wailing and calling after us to pick him up until literally the poop fell out of his behind. (I just didn't want to deal with it for a 10 hour drive back the next day!) Although funny now, it was such a challenge then! The warm bath is a good trick. We also tried suppositories after 3 or 4 days but it was like a wrestling match and I only did it for fear of his health and for his comfort and at the doctors suggestion. The psychological part of it is that some children actually fear that something solid is leaving their body. And like my son, who is a little extra sensitive, I just don't think he liked the sensation. So we talked a lot about how good it felt after he went to the bathroom and of course tried all the reward systems. And simply ignoring it and taking the focus and pressure off of him going on the potty helped too. And one parting thought that I keep in mind whenever I'm struggling with any child rearing issue......they won't be doing this when they go off to high school (or maybe even kindergarten!)
Hope that helps!
L.

L. Mercer
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My nephew had a similiar problem. They decided it meant he wasn't ready, and just backed off potty training for a few months. That worked for them. Your son is still young for potty training. You could wait.

However, another friend had that problem with her daughter. She'd had a bad bowel movement, so she was terrified of going poopy. They took her to the doctor, and he gave her medicine (taken by mouth) to soften the stool. Once she realized that it wasn't as bad as that previous experience, she was fine.

If this is starting to cause problems, I'd consult a doctor.

Good luck!

Dear K.,
I'm the mother of 3 sons, 25, 22, and 17. First 2 toilet-trained within normal limits, but last one was terrified of bm in potty. He'd not go for 3 days, get cross, then have a massive bm that sort of hurt. I promised him there was nothing scary in the toilet (nothing would reach up and grab his bottom, no bugs, animals, etc.) and that his bm was just parts of food that his body couldn't use--just dirt. I assured him nothing he needed would accidentally fall in the toilet (his eye, his hand, his heart)--but only bm and I'd wait to flush the toilet until he was out of the room (did the sound scare him?). I'd sit him on the toilet (with the adaptor), give him books, stay there and visit w/him, play cassette music tapes--no help! Finally, we went to the kitchen cabinet and looked at all the cake and brownie mixes. I told Ethan that if he'd poop in the toilet, we'd celebrate w/a party! He could pick whichever cake he wanted, he could help me break the eggs & use the mixer, could pick the kind of icing, and there'd be presents! Within a week, he was withholding and I asked if his tummy hurt. He got this sick look on his face and said, "No, mommie, it's my heart!" (from the conversation about not losing anything important in the toilet, I guess!) I assured him that people have bm's every day and he needed to look at a book, relax, and let the poopy go in the toilet. He did from that day on, we baked an awesome chocolate cake, put candles on it, had presents to open and we have a great picture sequence in the photo album of the poopy party! L., school psychologist in OH

K., My son, who is now 12 did the same thing at that age. I remember my mom telling me to put Caro syrup in his milk. Then when that didn't help, I called the dr. they told me to give him 1/2 a supository. I would call your dr. before doing that, but they told me that believe it or not this is totally normal for children that age. It's the only thing they feel they have control over. He also said that he would eventually get over it and realize that it's better to just go than to hold it in and make it hurt. AND HE DID! So don't worry, things will work out. I'd definately give the dr. a call. They may be able to recommend somethings to try before doing supositories.

S.

K.,

Just relax. Get rid of the pressure. Buy the next size up of diapers. Boys just take longer, and Einstein himself wasn't fully potty trained, it is said, until he was 5.
Continue to praise your son for peeing in the right location, but get rid of the stress otherwise. At least if he'll tell you after he poops, you can clean him up. Then, just wait a while. Maybe even a year. But relax, it will happen when he is ready.

Best wishes,
K.

Hey K... Ok my son just turn 3 in october, but he was potty trained by summer. He was scared too, after he would poop, he also would run from it. See we let him in the bathroom when myself or my husband went potty and we sang the "poopy in the potty song..(just made something up) we also waived bye bye b/c the poop had a party to go to w/ all the other kids poop (i would use names like my neighbors name or my cousins). So we'd say 'honey waive bye poop is going to have a party w/ ian's poop.. have fun poop!" it sounds stupid, but all kids like parties why wouldn't their poop like one.. lol Also we had a special potty book that was specifically read for the potty and one for daycare also. I don't think karo is going to help unless he's constipated. If he pooping in his diaper or pull up and just not on the potty then i think he doesn't have a bowel prob just that he doesn't want to let it go. Bribe him with going to McDonald playland as a reward. Those were some of the things I did and finally it was sucessful. Just don't keep switching him from diaper/pull-up to big boy pants I think that just confusing. Maybe let him pick out his favorite batman, spiderman.. etc.. underwear for you know BIG BOYS!!! good luck :)
M.

My daughter is not potty training yet, but has problems going to the bathroom, and knowing how you feel, I have the following advice: I would back off a little, maybe he feels too much pressure to go. I would rather him go in a diaper with no pressure (and thus no problems) than make him potty train and have issues. The other advice you have gotten is great as well, so try a variety of things.

I have heard that if you put a stool in front of the potty so your child can push on it; he may feel more secure. It will make him stable and give him leverage.

My son was the exact same way.. I just stopped pressuring him. Once he found out it's not such a big deal, he'll relax and gain normal bowel habits again. My son was almost 5 when he was finally fully potty trained.. But my baby cousin now has digestive disorders due to his momma forcing the dooky issue on him so she can have those "bragging rites" I didn't say she's the greatest momma, but she IS, after all 17 now. Her son is 2. I would just let it flow, so to speak. He'll get sick of sitting in his own dooky sooner or later.
A.

Hi im a preschool teacher and i came across a book and its got animals in it and its to help the child poop.The book is called "everybody poops" so this might help you out.