Seeking Help with Crazy Poop Problem

Updated on March 03, 2008
S.A. asks from Colorado Springs, CO
22 answers

My almost three year old son has been potty trained now for a few months. During the day he is always dry and rarely has an accident. The only problem is that he has trained his body to poop as soon as he has on his pullup at bedtime. Every single night he poops once, maybe twice in his pullup. When we first started the training, he would need to poop during the day and would squirm around for the longest time, going in and out of the bathroom, not deciding what to do. Eventually he would just poop in his underwear which is what he does if I leave him in underwear overnight. He seems apprehensive at the thought of pooping in the toilet and has somehow trained his body to only go at night. I have absolutely no idea what to do as my two older children didn't have any issue with this. Any advice would be greatly appreciated. I have tried bribing him but as yet he has not responded. Thankyou.

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C.M.

answers from South Bend on

Good morning don't know if this will help you or not but it did us! We had the same problem we put a radio in the bathroom and we let him pick out a tape to listen too (CD) if he has something to do in there he will sit there till he does the job. We have even done a book and music it have worked well my son is now 10 but it worked back then! good luck!

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D.W.

answers from Jacksonville on

I don't think he's trained his body to poop with a pull-up but rather he is regualr. My son is 100% potty trained and he poops right before bed also. Wait to put on a pull-up and watch him. Kids show signs when they are pooping and when you notice he is rush him to the potty. Try a few nights without a pull-up. It may be less than fun cleaning up, but the pull-up may be an OK for him to poop.

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J.A.

answers from Indianapolis on

Hi S., my 3 year old did the same thing, except he had himself trained to poop during the day. He told me he had to go and then he went in his room and shut the door and let me know when he was done. This went on for several months after he was going pee on the toilet. I tried sitting him on the toilet and it was like torture for him. He would scream like he was terrified! I also tried bribing and it just didn't seem to work. One night I had one pull up left for him to sleep in and all of a sudden he needed to poop. I explained that if he used the pull up he would have to sleep in his underwear,something we had never done. I got him a Diego potty seat and put him on there to try and go and the same thing happened, the screaming and crying. I talked to him calmly and told him it would be okay. I even had my 6 year old trying to help. After about 10 minutes or so he got a little bit out. We made a huge deal out of this. Cheering, clapping, telling him we were so proud of him, then he had to go again. I told him if he went we could call "Spiderman", or "Spongebob", or "Diego, and he could tell them what he had done. He got his seat, went in, and did it all by himself! I then called my brother-in-law who posed as "Spiderman" and he really thought he talked to him! He has been pull up free since that night,even through the night. I think it takes boys a while to figure it all out and once they do they are good to go. I also tried the marble trick. Have 2 bowls of marbles,one with a happy face on it and one with a sad face on it. Put 10 marbles in each bowl and every time he goes or tries to go he can put a marble in the happy face and every time he goes in his pull up put a marble in the sad face. Object is to get all the marbles in the happy face and they get a prize. This also works for other things. Good luck! I've been there and know it is rough!

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K.B.

answers from Cleveland on

HI S.
My name is K. and I had two boys that did exactly the same thing as Nathan and I found that the best way to handle it is to ignore it, with my first son I like you tried everything to get him to stop this annoying little trick but to no avail so finally I just said forget it poop in your pants until you go to school and about two weeks later he asked for underwear to wear at nite and never did it again,,,,,when my second son started the same thing I did not make a big deal of it and he finished potty training himself in about 3 weeks....I think it might a control issue and once they feel in control and it is their decision they seem to do fine....Hope this helps K. B

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T.J.

answers from Columbus on

My niece was like this, and a friend of mines son holds it. The neice outgrew it and the boy is getting better as he gets older too. I really think it's something they just get over eventually. Sounds like hes training well tho!

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M.G.

answers from Columbus on

S. - my son (now 10) did that at first too. It was like clockwork, we'd put on the nighttime pull up, wait for us to leave, go sit in the corner, squat and go. I actually spied on him a couple of nights to catch the routine. Then, the next night I tried to catch him in the act and run him to the toilet. However, that wasn't always successful. But, it got him going in the right direction. Then, about a month later, we were on a long distance trip and had him in a pull up. He said he need to go poopy. We weren't near an exit with a toilet, so we just told him to go in his pull up if he needed to. He cried and cried and refused to do it. So, we finally found one and he went on the toilet. It's like it finally clicked. So, have faith. And, remember, some kids see pooping as losing a body part - a bit tramatic. So, when he does go in the toilet, allow him to wave goodbye, etc. Set the example when you go too.

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D.K.

answers from Indianapolis on

SIT with him & do your bedtime reading while he's sitting on the potty. Remind him that he's a big boy now and you are going to sit with him and read until he poops. Time him if you have to. It worked for us.

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J.M.

answers from Lafayette on

S.,
I don't think that is such a crazy problem. My son did almost the same thing at about the same age. One of my nephews did too.

My son just didn't save it for night time. We put up with it for a while as he adjusted to potty training and then I offered him something he really wanted. For him it was a riding tractor that had been his dad's. I told him we would clean out a space in the basement and he could ride any time he wanted. That did it! He never pooped in a diaper again. If you can find something your son really, really wants it might work for you too.

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J.S.

answers from Columbus on

My Daughter had this problem. I made her clean and rinse out her dirty underwear in the toilet every time she had a bowel movement in her pants. I also made her clean the floor and toilet if it had any feces on it. After two times of this she decided to go in the toliet. I also would reward her with special treats that she picked out for having clean underwear. I tried to reward her for staying clean and dry instead of rewarding her for using the toilet.

-J.

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R.A.

answers from Elkhart on

I have a friend who's daughter did this same thing. She would even ask for a pull-up during the day when she needed to go. She was very frustrated with this but her doctor assured her that some children just take much longer to be potty-trained with #2. Eventually her daughter just grew out of it. Hopefully your will soon too. It also never hurts to mention it to your doctor.

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A.P.

answers from Columbus on

My son did that for a while and then all of a sudden he quit. Not from anything I remember doing. He ended up just not liking the feel. Have him sit on the potty at night until he poops. Maybe have Spencer take him- like "big boys" do.

Hope that helps.

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C.B.

answers from Lafayette on

try putting the pullup on about 20 min or so before bed time and letting him stay up for a while, about every ten minutes take him to the bathroom or put him on a potty chair if thats what he uses and let him sit for a couple minutes until he starts to go, make this a routine and eventually he'll start going before bedtime. with my son we had to wake him about 2 am and have him go to the bathroom,this teaches them to wake when they feel the urge and use the bathroom on their own. my son is now 5 and gets up about 2am on his own and does his thing...we keep a bright night light on in the bathroom so he can see what he's doing. hope this helps.

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H.R.

answers from Lafayette on

Ok. I haven't had too many problems with this but a friend of mine cut a hole in her son's pullup that he could poop through. Anytime he had to go poop he would put this on and sit on the potty and would be fine. He eventually didn't need to have it on anymore. That would be my suggestion. You might talk to him about why he doesn't want to go in the potty. Does he feel like he's hanging too much - I would suggest a seat that you put on for potty training like Sponge Bob or Dora are the ones I have seen that just make the potty hole smaller. Does he normally stand up to pee and he's not used to sitting down and the pee came out and that just weirds him out? The pull-up might help with that or have your husband talk to him about both standing or sitting. Hope this helps some! It sounds like your son is regular which is great!! But if it does seem like he's a little constipated, pear juice is what our ped nurse recommended and it works!!!

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H.I.

answers from Cleveland on

In your situation I would keep track of when he goes poop in his under wear. Then I would encourage him to go in the toliet. I would set up a rewards system for him. I would keep encouraging him to go to the potty in the toliet. When he does go I would make a big deal out of it. I would give him a reward.

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D.H.

answers from Cleveland on

My son was the same way. Very resistant to poop or pee in the potty. I had to throw away shoes because they smelled like urine, he would just stand outside and pee. The reward system of his favorite cars was the trick, I made a big deal and hid it in my hand and explained why he was getting the car. He then gave me rewards and still does. Hes 4 now. I let him pick out underwear, party for his first poop on his own (without my prompting), let his older cousin show him how he does it. I've heard boys are more difficult, mine is hard headed. Everything has to be his idea. I also use the trick of "If you go potty, then you get to do or have ____". They will do this in their own time. Also they will also not like it in their pants soon. He was almost 3.5 before mine did it all the way. They it all clicked in together. Nighttime and day time all at once. Be patient and keep the encouragement going. They are all different and wonderful.

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B.P.

answers from Indianapolis on

Do you have a small child-sized potty that sits on the floor that he can use? I think the adult potty with water can be scary for little ones. I used 3 or 4 different kid potties through all my kids. I really like the baby bjorn one that is extra small and one-piece (don't have to disassemble it to clean) and it's great to take out with you when he might have to go potty. Just throw it in a tote bag, it helps when using public restrooms or stopping on the road. Dump urine or poop, rinse with water and wipe clean with Lysol wipe.

Hope it helps. I don't know how you can change his body's cycle though. That's a tough one. May have to force him to sit on child potty at some point during the day and he can't get up until he poops (reasonable amount of time, and try every half hour or so until he does).

Good luck!

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M.B.

answers from Dayton on

I'm having the same problem with my almost 3 year old son. He would be pretty good all day then poop about 10 minutes after his pull-up was on at night. I really think it was the only time he relaxed enough all day to do it. We finally left him with no underwear and no pull-ups on under his pj pants (so he could get them down fast) and put the little potty in his room. We put a pull up on him before we go to bed, and he gets a candy heart every time he goes poop in the potty.

That has worked pretty well; he hasn't had a poopy accident in the evening for a while now. (During the day every once in a while he does.) Now we've started to inch the potty out into the hall and closer to the bathroom. Hopefully, we'll be able to transition him to the big potty once the little one is in the bathroom. It's so frustrating though b/c he's good all day and then a poop after you are exhausted and he's finally in bed for the night! Good luck!

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J.T.

answers from Cleveland on

I had a 2nd son with the same problem. Our pediatrician advised us to give it time and to take small steps to pooping on the potty. When he told me that he had to poop, I'd put on the pull up and he had to stand by the potty, then eventually he'd sit on the potty to poop with the pull up on, then finally after a few months he pooped in the potty. Never let yourself get frustrated with him. He's in control of whether he goes or not and he can hold it for days or even weeks. You don't want him to get constipated. Praise him every little step along the way. My first son was so easy to train but my second son was different. My son also enjoyed flushing a few goldfish down with his poop in the potty. I don't know why but he thought that was great. He'll accomplish this before you know it. Don't pressure yourself or him just keep encouraging.

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L.B.

answers from Columbus on

Same problem here, although it took my mom and my aunt witnessing the trauma of my son sitting on the potty to point out that he was constipated and that it sounded like he was in pain. He was in fact holding it in as long as possible. We used a little Benefiber in his drinks (through the suggestion of our doctor) and it was less than a week before he was going on his own. He even began requesting "sauce" in his milk because he knew it made his bottom feel better when he pooped. I hope this helps.

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C.W.

answers from Cincinnati on

I sounds like he cannot relax enough to go except at night. It might hurt him a little bit too.

My oldest was always slightly constipated and would not go until he could hold it no longer and then he would hide it. I use to think his room smelled so bad because he had a small fish bowl that I thought alway needed cleaning. Poor fish got flushed down the toilet and I told him it had died when he was at school. He was way too old to be doing this.

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C.W.

answers from Cincinnati on

We had the same problem. Natalie would even hold it when we were out of town until we got home. Our pediatrician had us give her Miralax, until it was pretty lose. When that happened, she passed gas while on the potty and subsequently pooped as well. We praised her big time every time this happened, until it was not a big deal for her anymore. Good luck! I know this can be frustrating, but don't push it. After all, they won't leave for college in a diaper:-)

C.

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T.B.

answers from Cincinnati on

My daughter would also poop in her panties or pull-up but not on the toilet for a long time. It helped when I would give her rewards when she pooped in the toilet. (usually jelly beans or something like that) When she didn't poop in the toilet, I didn't make a big deal about it, I just talked her through it and explained that it was ok, but she needed to try and poop in the toilet next time so that she could get a treat.

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