Wanting to Feel Sexy

Updated on April 03, 2008
A.B. asks from Charlotte, NC
4 answers

Hi Guys,
I wanted to get some advise on what you all do to make yourself feel sexy after giving birth.
Let me start by saying, I Know I'm beautiful, and am very confident with my inner and outter self. I just want some suggestions as to what you all do to maintain your sexiness, and when do you find the time to do it. My showers went from 15 minutes to 3 minutes after I had my daughter. Gone are the days of body splashes, shaving, moisturizing and such. I get to do them now, but I have to rush, and don't really get to enjoy those moments anymore. My angel is two and since birth, it's like she has a radar that goes off when I get in the shower. When she was a few days old and I noticed this, I even switched the times I took showers, and closed the door because I thought the sound of the water was waking her, and she still would wake up crying when I was showering. I miss my victoria secrets and such. I have been celebate since I conceived my daughter, and am single, so I don't get any type of affirmations from a man about my beauty, although I don't need it, it would be nice to hear once in a while.

What can I do next?

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E.M.

answers from Washington DC on

Hmmm... Well, I think there are a few good ways to feel sexy.

1) If you like makeup but don't feel like you have time to wear it, pick a good lipstick, mascara and blush. You'll have that put together look in 1 minute flat and it will look natural.

2) Don't wear frumpy clothes! Choose a flattering Tshirt instead of an oversized comfy tshirt. Get some every day clothes that flatter in fit and color. No reason we can't look good even when we're going to the grocery store. It doesn't have to be expensive or fancy. I was the queen of buying tops 2 sizes too big. I simply bought some simple tshirts (from Target) in fun colors that fit and I felt so much more confident and sexy. A shirt or pair of pants with a little spandex in it gets you a great fit that doesn't bag out.

3) I agree, wear a sexy bra and underwear under normal clothes. Also, get a cute pair of sandals and paint your toes (it's almost warm enough). High heels and toddlers don't exactly mix, but look for something a little "cuter" than normal. Maybe a mid-height heel but with rhinestones? It will dress up your shorts, capris, skirts, pants... everything.

4) Buy a body spray that you like. My husband gave me one from Victoria Secret and I love it. 2 quick sprays on my belly and chest and I feel sexier already. (Plus he says I smell great!!)

5) Try to work towards a simple hair style that you can quickly do and that makes you feel good. Sexy doesn't have to mean 2 hours getting ready and a can of spray.

Also, plan a girls night out. I like the idea of trading off with a friend but you can also invite a friend over who has kids and have a slumber party. It's important to spend time with others, especially if you work from home.

Lastly, stand tall and look people in the eye. Smile at people and know that you are sexy, inside and out.

Good luck. I hope some of this speaks to you. It is hard getting back to feeling like you are sexy. I think it's the confidence and attitude that makes the impact.

Also, I found that putting my child in the shower with me sometimes worked. It may sound horrifying, but she would never want to be in the spray (more for me) and would find it so fun to stick her arm or leg in and then just play with the shaving cream cap (filling and dumping) the rest of the time. Also, I've put the little one in the tub without water (assuming you have a separate tub and shower in the same bathroom) with a few toys. If they cry, you just say, it's ok, Mommy just needs a shower... and let them work it out. I would also put a few books in the tub with her and she loved it. She got to where she would bring toys and sit outside the shower door and sing to me or babble about something. I always wanted to know where she was and I was never coordinated enough to shower when she was sleeping.

Good luck!!!!

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R.K.

answers from Washington DC on

Do you go to the gym? My gym has a kid's club, so after I work out (which helps me feel better about my body), I take a nice long shower before picking up my son. It's not as nice as a shower at home, but you can still pamper yourself during and after with whatever products. My gym also has a sauna, which I don't use, but some people love that. Also, sometimes I leave my son with my husband and go and get facial. It's not often, but it feels darn good. Could you leave your daughter with a babysitter and get out and do something for yourself? Actually, the aesthetician I see for facials (and waxing) works out of her home in Urbana. It's a trek, but well worth it for me. She has two little boys, and her au pair will watch your daughter while you're in the appointment for $7 an hour. Let me know if you want her number! If it's too far for you, maybe she knows someone in your area. Good luck!

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J.C.

answers from Dover on

Hey there,

I know how you feel. My daughter just turned 3 on Monday and I had struggled getting my sexy back after having her. My family would say "O yoiu look good" but you know family is nice sometimes too nice. I should let you know that I am married but my husband didn't seem to look at me as if I was sexy or that he was attractive to me so I didn't know what to do.

So, I started working out to get those baby oiunds off, I made tanning appointment to give myself some color, I would put some makeup on to go out and some what do my hair and strut in front of my husband and if he didn't say anytjing then I would got to the store or whereever I was going and just see if guys looked at me. If 1 guy looked at me and they looked nice then I would feel good. Then after that everyday I would try to not allows out on the sweat clothes and no makeup.

Also, you know they say if you wear sexy panties and bras under your clothes you feel sexier therefore you will be sexier and show that radiance.

I hope this helps and just try let me know how you feel!

Best of wishes,

J.
Helping MOMs Stay Home
____@____.com
www.urfuturematters.com

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S.M.

answers from Norfolk on

Find a friend you can switch sitting with. Take her kid one afternoon a week and she takes yours another so you can each have some mommy time and not have to pay for it. Also, when my kids are in bed, I light the candles, get into a hot bubble bath and soak up the suds for an hour. My hubby is away so I feel your pain on the single parenting thing. At 18 months, your daughter can comfort herself if she wakes up crying. You need time or you will be so exhausted, you don't enjoy being a mommy. Remember just 10 minutes at a time can make a difference. I take a shower, dry off put my robe on, check on the kids, put on lotion, check on kids while it is soaking in, splash and dress. I just put the kids in my 3 year old's room for a quick shower. I don't let the guilt of taking a 15 minute shower once a day get to me.

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