My husband (39) and I (37) have an 11 month old baby boy (just started walking!) We (especially my husband) are wanting to start trying for another baby. I am soooo worried about how I can do this. I stay at home 7am-6pm now while husband is at work, would want to nurse, have no family to help when husband is at work. I keep trying to imagine what it would be like... trying to nurse and hold a newborn and also take care of a 20 month old running around. My biggest fear is sleep deprivation. Not sleeping at night or be able to sleep when the newborn sleeps during day b/c 1st child will be up playing (he now only takes a 1 hour nap around noon and a 1 hour nap around 4pm! - so he is not a big napper. he sleeps from about 9pm-8am, still waking up 1 or 2 x night for binkie or bottle). Is this just something I will have to go through if we want more kids? I still feel sleep deprived now after 11 months....but cannot imagine what I will feel like if we have another baby??? Please advise or help - I really wished we lived closer to family so that I could get a break through-out the day a couple of times/week!
Things just fall into place. I had 3 in 4 1/2 years.
The fact that you co-sleep will be very helpful, it was for us.
Use a Snuggly, sleep when you can, pray and just be! It will be great!
Hi M., my boys are 21 months apart. I didn't plan it that way but apparently God did! I was petrified too. My oldest son had JUST started sleeping through the night. and I would cry to my husband "I'm not gonna get to sleep for another 2 years!" but, it ended up being really great! My second son was a breeze! He nursed well and slept pretty good. I kept saying "if all babies were this easy i'd have 10!" Now that I look back though he was a typical baby. It's really hard to adjust to that first kid but by the time the second one comes you're just better at the motherhood thing and it's not nearly as bad.
I can totally relate! My closest family is three hours away...not exactly convenient for babysitting! I do have a sister that I call almost daily to vent, which helps a bunch and I attend a mom's group once a week for a bit of "Mommy time" while my girls play in the free childcare!
One thing you need to remember is that you have nine months before the baby comes (that is if you get pregnant right away). Your son will be much more independent than he is now and will most likely be sleeping better at night! As for the naps, mine didn't nap past two, but I would have them lay down with me on the couch or play quietly in the same room (my three yr old does this almost daily with me again now as I am pregnant w/ number 4). I get a rest and they get the quiet time they need.
If you both truly want another baby, I say go for it! As tiring as it can be, it is so rewarding. My girls (5,3,and 1) are the best of friends! I wouldn't change a thing.
Hope that helps and I wish you the best!
I feel you should wait until things calm down. The anxiety would not help you to conceive at this time anyway. Most OBGyn's recommend waiting a full year if not a little more to help your body fully heal and 'go back' into place.
As you are a Yoga instructor, meditate on it. You will see when the correct time is that way. (In our crazy day to day life with our children, we do forget to reconnect with ourselves!) It may not be right now, but if you plan to have a second child, it may be next year when things are more settled and planned out for you. (and when you actually are having more rest as your son should be sleeping better then!)
Good luck!
I was wondering these same things about having a third, while mine is 17 months old right now and I have a 5 yr old. Then I came to the realization....."it is but about only a year of my life that I am extremely sleep deprived, and then I have a lifetime with my child" One year is not much in the big scheme of things. Hope it helps in your desicion. :)
I encourage you to wait a little bit; from my own life, sleep deprivation is something that goes with being a parent, and esp a mom! Whether it is a newborn, toddler with bad dreams, early rise preschooler, late night teenager.....it just goes with the territory. I agree with "adapting" your environment to work for you so you aren't walking into walls - do what works, whether that is the family bed, napping when the kids nap, asking a friend for help a couple days a week so you can nap. Yes, two kids is more than one, but the joy of the bond (eventually) that is built between them cannot be understated. Wait until you have some peace about it. You will know when it is time.
2 kids are a lot more work than 1 kid.
My kids are 18 months apart. The first year is really hard. There were many nights after we got both kids in bed where my husband said well we survived another day.
However. It does get easier. They are now 16 months and almost 3 and life is a breeze.. (well in comparison to how it was)
You also have to think about how tired you will be while you are pregnant. I was just worn out being pregnant and taking care of a toddler. The first pregnancy you can rest when you want the second pregnancy you only get to rest when the toddler is napping.
By the way- I dont think you will have time for all organic homemade things.
I made baby food for the first child. Didnt have time to do it for the second child. There is no way that I coudld do the laundry required for clothe diapers.. I barely keep up with the regualare laundry.
I knew I wanted at least two, but we waited until to try for a second until we knew my son would be at least 3 before the next one would be due (worked out closer to 4, but hey, it worked!) for a couple of reasons.... Sleep, sleep and going crazy. I know that sleep is important to me and am always tired, even with my son still taking two hours naps (which I share on weekends) but I am working full time and so does my husband and we are both finishing advanced degrees... well you get the picture. At least I know that my son will be potty trained and able to put himself to sleep at night and willing to entertain himself while I feed and care for baby (at least after he adjusts). I too was scared to have that second - which is why I waited. If you aren't ready, you aren't ready. Take a few months and let yourself have a little more time and see how you feel!
