Wake/funeral Protocol...

When my father died we had all sorts of people come and go. Some people stayed for while, some stayed for the full time. I would stay for a little while and see how it goes.

As for children, I'd bring them and remind them to mind their manners. The family's children would probably love to see some friendly faces and have someone to hang out with. Lots of children were there and it was great to see kids there. Hope this helps!

Come and go, no kiddos.

Only family is required to stay the whole time.

I always brought my kids but then they were raised in a funeral home so if they don't know how to behave god help us!

A) yes you go, pay your respects, hug the surviving children, grandchildren and leave.
B) Unless he were my own grandfather I would not stay the whole time.

Your kids are too young for this funeral, they didn't know him. If it were their grandpa, then yes, by all means, they should go. Definitely leave the little man at home.

No, If everyone stayed the full 3 hours that would be insane! Most people would go with A.

Depends on the kids. If they are old enough to know whats going on, and you dont have a babysitter, yeah I would bring them. Toddlers, I probably wouldnt.

When my son was two I had no other option to bring him for my cousins wake, but she was cremated. No open casket.

I think it's different from place to place, but in my experience you come stay as long or little as you want and then you can leave. You don't have to stay the whole three hours.

For me, I would bring my older kids but not the littlest. They wouldn't understand the reverence required and might be disruptive (not intentionally). If I brought kids we would talk about where we were going, why, what they would see and what I needed of them.

Hi R., I'd say A.

I probably wouldn't bring the kids if they were not close to the deceased. However, I wouldn't think it inappropriate if you did.

:)

Some very close family members will stay the whole time, but most people will go, pay respects, sign the book, chat for a little while, then leave.
You can take your kids if the other kids will be there for a short visit otherwise they can stay home with a sitter.

So sad :(. My younger brother has a friend, Joey. My kids refer to him as Uncle Joey and I call him my brother...he is family to us. Ironically, we never met the rest of his family. His dad passed last month, and I took my kids to the memorial service. It was full of laughter and tears...and an amazing experience for my kids to be there to support their Uncle Joey. My sister left her 2.5 year old daughter with her fiance's parents.

I would think it would be good for the girls to go, maybe not the baby though - depending on how he does in places where he needs to be quiet and respectful. Not sure those words fit any two year old I know :).

I also think for the wake you just go and pay your respects and leave. The funeral you would stay the whole time.

R.:

Typically, you go, pay your respects, give condolences and leave. I know there are people that stay the whole time - but that's up to you.

If you are asking to be bring Em and Maddy - I wouldn't unless I knew that their friends would be there as well. The only reason I wouldn't is because they did not know him. Bringing them knowing their friend would be there is showing support for their friend. Does that make sense?

No, I wouldn't bring my kids to a wake/funeral of someone they didn't know. I'm sorry for your loss.

I would go, pay my respects and leave.

I rarely bring a child to a funeral unless it's immediate family (aunt uncle cousin grandmother, etc).

I stay to give my condolences and then I leave.

Now if there's a meet and greet at someone's house, I will stick around, well, cause I'm a southern woman and we cook and clean for funerals and visitations and such.

On a side note, you didn't mention the age of the kids. I don't know that having a friendly face and a play mate around for the greiving family's kids wouldn't be a welcome distraction from all the sadness of the day.

Sending good thoughts your way.

It's A. A visitation is just a time frame in which people can stop by, pay their respects and visit with each other at their leisure. Sometimes there is a prayer service scheduled during that time - Catholics will often pray the Rosary. (The obituary would say something like: Visitation from 4:30 to 7:30 with Rosary at 6:00) If that's the case, they during the actual prayer service, everyone would be seated and participating. As soon as the prayer service ends, the visitation part resumes.

Bringing your children would absolutely be fine. I'm sure their friends would enjoy that. But it is unnecessary, so please do whatever you are comfortable with.

My FIL is the youngest of 12 (I think), so we've been to several visitations in the past few years. Very close friends and family will attend both the visitation and the funeral. Many people will attend one or the other. Because we live an hour away and have two little ones (almost 3 and 5 1/2), we coordinate with the immediate family and usually just attend the visitation. My husband pays his respects while I watch the kids in the back. If other relatives don't mind, I will ask them to watch the boys and join my husband.

Whatever you decide, I'm sure your friend will appreciate your presence.

I normally go, pay respects & leave.

You didn't say how old your children are & if they are close to the Grankidz. If they are under the age of 10 and are not close to the kidz (are the Grankidz even going to be @ the funeral home for the viewing?) I would not have them go. If they are close then perhaps according to YOUR personal beliefs. If you are attending the funeral & the wake thereafter then there would be no reason for your kidz to HAVE to go, if your not attending above said then by all means the older/close kidz should/could go to the viewing.

I don't know what Miss Manners has to say about it all but I believe you know your kidz better than she anyway so, go with your gut.

Just go and pay your respects.
Find out if the other children are there. It would be good for them to have company for a little while. Otherwise, I would not bring them.
Don't make your children view the body unless they want to.

If your friends kids are attending, I would bring your children to stay with them and keep them company. It's always a very sad affair. Usually people stay for a little while, then leave. If I was close with them, I sometimes stay for the whole thing.

A, maybe stay a little bit if you see people you know. Depending on the atmosphere you may enjoy visiting with a few people or feel so gloomy that you can't stand another minute.

No to the kids, if it were your family they knew then yes but in this case, just no.

Updated

A, maybe stay a little bit if you see people you know. Depending on the atmosphere you may enjoy visiting with a few people or feel so gloomy that you can't stand another minute.

No to the kids, if it were your family they knew then yes but in this case, just no.

A and B. You do not need to stay the whole time. Stay as long as you feel comfortable. If it's a immediate family member that is a different story.

I would not bring young children to this wake, but I would have them write a note to their friend. It's a good thing to start teaching them what should be done. No need to buy a card, let them write their own words (you can help them)...if they are too young to write, they can draw a picture.

Blessings.....

You generally do what you can while considering your closeness to the family/deceased.
As for the kids--it really depends on the children.

It depends on how close you are to the family. Think of it as a reservation. You are allowed to arrive at anytime after 4:30p, stay as long as you want/need, but everyone leaves by 7:30p.

If your kids did not know the person, I would not take them.

i would go with A, and not take kids unless they are older and wish to go.
khairete
S.

I would not take the children if you can avoid it. They are young and won't understand the austerity of the event. Also, you should decide if they are mature enough to handle seeing a dead body. I'm not big on sheltering kids from death but your kids are pretty young.
You should go, pay your respects and give your condolences then leave unless they are having a ceremony with a speaker giving a eulogy. Generally when that large of a time window is given, it's meant to be enough time to cycle people through.

People rarely stay the full 3 hours, other than family and extremely close friends of the deceased. In many cases, the family doesn't want you to stay the whole time due to crowding issues - depends on the turnout. Taking kids is not usually a good idea. They don't know what to say/do, they may see their friends and want to play, and the grieving family doesn't need that. In cases of an open casket, that's an entirely new problem/issue to deal with and you need to decide if your kids are ready for that.

So, go, pay respects in the receiving line, sign the guest book, and then if you want to chat with people you may know, fine. Otherwise, you can leave without saying goodbye to the family - they don't need to know when you leave as they will be receiving others.

As others have said, if it's at someone's home, then you can stay longer as usually there is food and an expectation of more relaxed surroundings.

A- is the correct answer-stay as long as you like or leave after you pay your respects-whatever you feel is best-if you're needed or asked to stay-then stay.

Take the children only if necessary

Call the mother of your child's friends and ask if her children will be at the visitation. If the grandchildren of the deceased are going to be in attendance, bringing someone that they know would be nice for them. You could also offer to have her children at your house during the visitation if she hasn't already made other arrangements.
The visitation at the funeral home is just that, a brief time allotted for the friends and family of the deceased and their family to come and offer condolences and sympathy. You go, pay your respects, speak to those you know and the widow (if there is one) and then you leave.

I agree that you need not stay the entire time. Don't know the ages of your children, but I do recall as a child (around 10 or so) going to the funeral home with my grandma. I didn't know the deceased, yet it helped me learn what to expect and how to behave in situations such as that. Not too long after, my grandfather passed. I was glad that my first experience with funeral homes had not been a viewing/wake for someone very close. Just throwing it out there....