Visiting Smoker MIL with 6 Month Old

I would just be honest about it. Say what you stated above: that for yourself you could deal with the smoke-stench (maybe just say smell) even though you hate it too, but for your baby you find it unacceptable. This will only be the first of many times you may have to advocate for your child, and I would put my foot down. The fact that you are visiting should be pleasing to her, you should not have to stay in a smelly house and be subjected to secondary smoke. Good luck.

If your MIL can't understand the reasoning behind your anxiety, then she is not very sensitive to your child's needs. At this point you could tell her that your baby girl is highly allergic to cigarette smoke (technically, all babies are) and you need to keep her in as smoke-free an environment as possible, You could also ask her for advice on how to mimimize the risk when you visit her. This way you wouldn't be putting her on the spot, you would be asking for her advice.

Hi,

You might call your pediatrician to inquire about the effects of a few days of second hand smoke. It never hurts to be sure of your info.

If you choose to stay elsewhere, perhaps you or your husband could enlist his Mom's help, by asking her about a good place to stay that's close to her.

Whatever you do, please do not mention the smell of cigarettes in her house and car. No good can come from this. Trust me. :)

The issue concerns second-hand smoke and you are investigating fun opportunities for your family to enjoy each other fully! This is about love for daughter and grandmother, so there's no reason for you to feel defensive or to put grandmom on the defensive. Your just doing your best to be a great parent!

I agree with the previous poster whole-heartedly! I'm sure your MIL knows smoking is incredibly unhealthy, whether she chooses to do anything about that or not. She should be willing to accept that you do not want to subject your baby to any second-hand smoke that might be hanging around. Just make sure she knows it's nothing against her personally. If she takes it the wrong way there's not much you can do about that, but your child's health should come before someone's (possible) hurt feelings. Good luck!