Visitations...

you need to get couples counselling. He's acting like a 12 year old who's not getting his way, and that's no foundation to build a relationship on.

Hire an attorney on Monday. Seriously. You have a child to protect.
Please do NOT move in with him.
Are you aware someone appears to be posting on here as the guy? I believe his online name is Seth M. Creepy.
Also, did you end up accepting the car from him he bought after you told him not to? After he asked you to pay for it even though you didn't want it?

Definitely do not move in with him! Sounds to me that he's working hard at pushing your buttons so that he can blame you for the split. I suspect that he either wants to move on or is feeling ambiguous about it. He's trying to manipulate you into making the decision. So stand your ground. Wanting to take it slow is a good and reasonable way to go.

I suggest that you tell him that you'll discuss this with him and a counselor but until then the topic is off the table. If he brings it up again, he'll have to leave because you're not going to argue with him. Then stick to it. Insist he leave if he doesn't stop talking about it. And don't get suckered into giving him an answer or responding in any way to what he says other than to tell him to leave or if you're on the phone to hang up after telling him you won't discuss it.

Overall the entire situation with him sounds like one of immature manipulation. Don't allow yourself to be manipulated. A mature man would be able to state what he wants clearly or admit to mixed feelings, ask you what you thought and really listen and then continue to share thoughts without having to have a decision now. A marriage counselor would help both of you learn how to work disagreements out in this way.

My brother and I are having difficulties at the moment over what he says I think and no matter how often I tell him that i do not think that he continues to be angry about what he thinks I said. I'm guessing that by doing this it's my fault in his mind that we aren't getting along.

Yep--get a lawyer. Sounds like has been having O. large pity party for himself!

Look...I think he keeps posting on here too...trying to figure out why you won't move in with him...basically so it will be cheaper for him and he won't have to pay child support.

Get an attorney...like yesterday...okay, Monday after Thanksgiving. And put the appropriate measures into place for proper visitation and child support. Or ask the attorney if about him giving up his paternal rights (sounds like he would cause the thought of paying child support freaks him out) so you don't have to deal with visitation at all.

You need to decide do you want him to have visitation and pay child support or not (signing over rights). But for the love of cheese and rice...stop all the "can we do this ourselves" and "should I or shouldn't I move in with him". Everyone here has said not to move in with him...he don't want a relationship he wants a cheap childcare situation.

He doesn't seem to care what YOU want and about YOU finishing school or YOU having family support close by...but worried about how much this is going to COST him financially.

I know I am being very very blunt, but if he can't even come by and visit with out cussing and tell you that you are "moving on" whatever that means...like you are out dating with a newborn and school and work...he is just being a jerk an immature jerk at that.

Hold him accountable or let him go completely...but it doesn't seem like he wants to further this relationship for the sake of the relationship but for other selfish reasons. I am very very sorry you have a child with such a man. Go back through older posts he has posted as "seth" and a couple other names.

Go with your GUT! i have a feeling its telling you to 'Not move in with him'. I think things will only escalate if your living together.

You need to get a legal document in place that spells out visitation and child support. Perhaps counseling/mediation. He is trying to manipulate you to get his way...when one tactic doesn't work he tries something else. This isn't healthy and you both probably need to come to terms with what the long term situation will most likely be. If you are truly interested in a relationship and being a family, go to counseling. If you know in your heart of hearts you can't sustain a relationship with him then do him a favor and let him know so he can move on emotionally. Moving on for him doesn't mean he forfeits he obligations to the child. He is the father and has an obligation to provide support for this child.

Absolutely do NOT move in with him. He is showing you right now the type of person he is and that is not going to change if you move in with him - if you cave in on this, what else will he expect you to cave in on?

He sounds immature and manipulative - he needs to learn to grow up and handle things like an adult. The bit about his son not needing him was probably a ploy on his part to get you to think that you would need to move in with him to keep him in your son's life.

I agree with Ellis - it's time to stop all the emotional waffling, get an attorney, and go through the proper legal channels to work out visitation, child support, etc. Start recognizing him for who he is - someone who is possibly selfish and controlling, and who only wants things on his terms.

BTW, does the dad happen to be the guy that posted this from 11/18?
http://www.mamapedia.com/questions/17626821113273253889
Have you read those responses? Because you wrote a response too, and in it you sounded pretty sure of yourself, but then in all your posts, you don't sound so sure. This man is creating a lot of self-doubt in your head right now and you need to just cut through the B.S. and get a good lawyer on your side. Interesting how you are both in the same town in Nebraska...

Don't give in. I would get an agreement in writing regarding custody, visitation, and child support. Also would also get it notarized and then get everything filed in family court. The court won't necessarily be bound by it but it will give you something while you are awaiting your day in court.

If you are able to work things out later and be together, great but you can't stay together just for your son. You will none be happy if you do. Sounds like his hurt is talking and maybe he is a bit immature and controlling. You can't force him to be a good parent but you can be the best parent you can be.

I think that you should stand your ground and go about things slowly. My husband and I seperated MANY years ago, and he was ready for me to move back in before I was ready to as well. One thing that helped was that we had a date night every week. We would rotate weeks picking what to do and it was not allowed to be a double date, it was just the two of us. No talking about the kids, or bills, or fights from the past etc....you just go out and have a good time together and learn how to have fun with each other again. It is really easy to forget why we love each other in the first place once all the pressures of life catch up to us. I am sure that your husband is feeling very insecure and probably a little bit depressed. This is a hard time of year to be seperated (it was the same time of year with my husband too, don't know why that seems to be the case for a lot of people). If you guys are members of a church or attend a church in your area, you might consider going to counseling with your Pastor. I will pray for you guys, and hope that you will find resolve. I think that he just needs to have the assurance that you do still love him and that you want to work things out because you love him, not just because you have a child together. Another thing that we learned during our seperation was not to fight over things in the past. They are done, you just have to move on. When you are in a disagreement, if one of you brings up stuff from the past the other should just say - this disagreement is about _________. What you just brought up is from the past and we cannot keep hashing it out every time we have a disagreement about something else. Once you get in the habit of doing that, it is easier to solve problems. Also - the majority of the time, both parties have to compromise a little bit on their position to find a solution that both of you can be ok with. It takes work, but it is worth it. If you guys can make it through this and learn from each other during the process, your marriage will be stronger than it has ever been! Sorry to keep going on and on, I just keep thinking of things that I learned during my time of seperation from my husband. I wish you the best ~

Do not move in with him. This is only a little of what he could be like if you did. Encourage him to see his son, but you should concentrate on school and your son. Do not ignore the red flags or your gut feelings. You did get child support for your son right. I believe your sons father posted on here too. Just be very careful when dealing with him.

I certainly agree with him on ONE point, DO get a lawyer. Please.

Your post is creating such an amazingly strong sense of deja vu! What's up with that?

Contact the county for goodness sake and start the process to formalize custody and child support. This constant agonizing about your relationship with him, his relationship with his son, financial responsibility, etc. is not working. You need to take legal action. I suspect that in prior posts under other names mamas have encouraged you to stay the course:

Finish your education
Seek child support
Take it slow

I would NOT give in! He is giving shouting out at you that he is not willing to work things out, rather he is making things worse especially if he is telling you all this while your child is in the house. You don't need to be blamed by anybody #1. #2 It takes two to get things to the way things are right now. So don't let any of his words get to you. Either he is really desperate to get back with you or he is just intentionally trying to make things worse.
I agree to get everything in an agreement in court. Or just wait awhile without visitations until he can behave around you. It doesn't seem like he's interested in visiting his child. Seems like he just wants to go argue with you.

A lot of people are saying he is being emotionally and verbally abusive, which may be true, but have you considered that he may be suffering from depression? Maybe this should be looked into. If he is depressed, getting help will only benefit your son and maybe you will see a new light on him as well.

Above all, continue with your plans to finish school because the best plan is to be able to support the two of you on your own. Then when the right person comes along, you will be with him because you want to, not because you need to.

Anything else he brings into the relationship is then a bonus! :)

This "man" is playing games with you. It really is too bad you have a child with him, otherwise I would tell you to run away as fast as you can. When I saw his "question" posted on here I became very concerned for you. He is sneaky, manipulative, and using everything in his power to control you. He needs to see a therapist. He is heading down the wrong lane and I hope he doesn't take you and your baby with him!
Listen to your instincts...don't let him bully you into something you don't want!

This is very interesting because he is posting on here too. It makes me wonder if her is stalking your socialization on this site or vice-versa. I think you do need to get a lawyer to protect your rights, and you are doing the right thing to not move in with him.

Honey get a lawyer. Also contact social services and maybe a domestic voilence shelter or hotline. Ask if you can have an advocate with you whenever you have to see him. The man is verbally and emotionally abusive. It's time to stand up for yourself and your child, tell him NO!!

http://www.turningpointservices.org/Domestic%20Violence%2...

http://cl-rikimiki-ivil.tripod.com/id14.html (21 Signs of An Abusive Person)

Read these see where he fits in.

DON'T LET HIM BULLY YOU!!!